I WONT GIVE UP

CHAPTER 37

WENDY POV

I said I'm going to the bathroom but the truth I ran to the shore. I'm hurt! So fucking hurt.

Every time they mention Joy's name I'm hurting, it's like they are tutoring me. I can't stand there anymore. I can't hear her name again it's just making me tear up. I don't want to broke down in front of her.

I run and run. Once I find a spot that no one can hear me I shout the pain I'm feeling.

"AHHHHHHHHH!!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! YOU'RE FUCKING TORTURING ME!!!!! I'M SO DAMN HURT!!!! I HATE MYSELF FOR NOT LETTING YOU GO!!!!! I HATE MYSELF THAT EVEN I'M HURTING I'M STILL FUCKING L-LOVE YOU!!!!! PLEASE!!! LEAVE MY MIND FOR ONCE!!" I shouted and fall on my knees I cried hard. My heart is breaking into pieces.

"why!!!! Tell me why!!!" I sob hard. I feel better when I'm letting this out. "I love you with all my heart!!! I fully trust you like I never did to anyone!!!!! But why you choose to hurt me like this!!!!! I'm fucking helpless!!!!!" Fucking hell "I GAVE YOU WHAT YOU DESERVE!, I NEVER LET YOU FEEL UNLOVE!!! I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR BEING A FOOL!!!!! WHY GOD?!! WHY DID THEY ALWAYS CHOOSE TO HURT ME!!!! WHY DID I DO?!!!! ALL I DO IS GIVE MY BEST!!!!" I can't do this anymore! I don't have space in this fucking world!

I ran towards the sea when I near to the deep part of the sea someone stop me.

"WENDY!!!!! DON'T DO THAT!! PLEASE!!!!!" Jisoo shouts and they come to my spot and pull me, and hug me. I just cried at Jisoo's shoulder.

"T-tell me Jisoo? Am I not m-meant to be l-loved? So tou think I didn't.....d-deserve to be..... love?" I ask. "Why is so hard to love? All I want is to be happy like you guys...I d-did n-nothing but love her."

"Shhhh, stop wendy, we love you. And you deserve more than that" Jisoo said calming me.

"Joy must be blind to not see your worth. But wendy you deserve the best. You deserve to be love, and you deserve much better than Joy" Lisa said.

"D-did? You all heard?" I ask and look at them.

"Yeah, and honestly, we're upset. Why didn't you tell us? Why you just owning your problems? You have us to talk to. Is this the reason why you're always bloodshot and got thinner? Don't fucking lie wendy" Seulgi.

I nod "what happened? Can you share it with us? But if you're not ready yet...we're not forcing you. Just don't forget we are here for your okay?" Lisa said. I told them I'm not ready yet and they respect it they brought me to my suite "don't do anything wendy okay? Please. Don't hurt yourself." Jisoo said I just nodded, I don't have the strength to talk.

They leave and I just sat on my bed and cry again...didn't take long my phone rang and it says Joy is calling...she didn't even have a clue I'm hurting.

I answer. "Hello?" I said.

"Hey, baby? Are you okay? You sound not" hell!! Not! Fucking not! I want to say that out loud But I don't want to confront her yet.

"Nah, I'm fine tired want to go to sleep" I lie. "You? Where are you?"

"Ahh! I'm umm. House! Studying! Yeah!" Fucking liar. I'll kill that guy.

"OH? Is that so? You must be smarter than before. 'Cause, all you did is the study" I coldly said.

"I don't think so but yeah, I wish. Anyways, have fun okay? I love-" she got cut off by someone. "Babe? Who's that?" It's not that loud but I heard it! I fucking heard it! So she's there again? I hang up and sob again... That's it! Once we landed I'll confront her. If she lies, I'll go. If she tells me the truth, I'll stay.