Love From the Forbidden 18+

12~

You are not hidden

Sensitive Content ahead⚠️
Y/N: again I'm not sure what happens specifically like thoughts during a depressive episode. This is what it might be, but I'm in no way trying to offend ANYONE!

Dorothea P.O.V

Vance had never seen one of my episodes. For me it's not so noticeable, because maybe you'd just think I'm overly excited about nothing, but then again you'll definitely notice my depressive side. This one is noticeable and I can't hurt him or burden him by telling him.

Rose and Lee had known because I told them a few years back. They didn't fully understand, but did there research and understands now. But of course not fully.

I felt a hand on my thigh and jumped a little, but it was only Vance. My heart was heavy with guilt and I looked down at the raindrops running down the window.

I guess now, this was my sign of my episode coming up.

And they usually lasted a few weeks, to a month.

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"Dorothea are you okay?" Rose asked, rubbing my shoulder as I laid in my bed.

"I'm fine, just-just overly tired." I let one of my tears fall.

"I don't want to um-cause a burden since you've never really tried to take care of someone or me with this mood." Rose chuckled, laying down hugging me.

"Dorothea I don't care, just tell me if you need something. Promise me you'll try to at least get up two times a day." Her hand ram through my hair.

"I'll try, I have school tomorrow which is-." Rose cuts me off.

"I'll drop you off and pick you up okay." She offers and yeah it's a nice offer, but I can't burden her.

"No, no it's fine." I took a deep breath in.

"Okay well, I'll call you down when dinner is ready." I hear her shut the door.

I sat up looking around the room. My shirt fell at my knees and I wore black shorts underneath. My clock said it was four in the afternoon.

I sighed, hugging my knees to my chest and rock myself for comfort. My voice started to hum a song that I heard on the radio yesterday. Well actually, the song came from Rose's playlist. I think it was called Dorothea by Taylor Swift.

Kinda ironic.

"Dorothea dinner is ready, I'll walk you down." Lee opens my door, grabbing my hand pushing me up off the bed.

"I really don't want to. Can't you just bring my food up here?" I ask, throwing my head down. "Come on, I'll be right next to you." He reassured me, holding my back as I walked slowly down the stairs.

Rose put my plate on the table, and smiled watching me finally walk today. Looking at the food on the table actually didn't make me hungry. In fact it made me less hungry.

"Dorothea I know that look, at least eat your potatoes okay?" Rose nods her head.

"Hey dad." Lee announces, walking over to the other side of the table.

"Hey son. Also Rose this looks delicious." Vance smiles sitting at the end of the table, digging in.

Everyone ate, but me. I continued to look down at the food, with one knee to my chest. Tears were threatening to fall, but I tried to contain them the best I could.

"Dorothea are you-." Vance is cut off by Lee. "Just let her be. She'll eat."

He gives me a worried look, but I don't live up to it. "I think I'm just going to go back to bed." I speak up, looking at the food once more.

"Dorothea you promised." Rose looks at me. I felt guilty and closed my eyes. Just eat five bites, it's okay.

That's exactly what I did. I ate five bites and nothing more. "Goodnight guys." I slightly smile, slowly walking up the stairs.

Walking up the stairs made me feel hopeless, it made me feel like I'm never going to get out of this "punishment". I probably shouldn't have thought that way, but god damn it I'm a sick person. And no I'm not talking about your casual flu. I'm talking sick in the brain and I'm not going to get better.

I flopped on my bed, waiting for a sign from the angels above. Nothing. I waited and waited. Next thing you know it's morning, the sun shining as I look up at the ceiling.

I have no idea how or when it got to be mine, but for fuck sure I'm tired.

I sighed, grabbing all my books and textbooks I needed for school. My hair was pretty bad today but when do I ever care?

I put on a grey sweatshirt and black pants. My hair in a messy bun with my mascara everywhere. Shit.

"Dorothea you okay?" Rose knocks on my door, and I stand up fully.

"Yeah. I'm ready." I say in a monotone voice, walking with three backpack on my one arm.

Just a few hours. Few hours.

"Hey, look at me Dorothea." Rose holds my other shoulder and I pick my head up.

"You got this. You hear me? You can do this." She nods her head and hugs me fully. I silently cry, into her neck, while hugging her tighter.

"I love you Dorothea. I'm here. Don't you dare give up on me." She chuckles, crying with me.

"I love you too Rose. And I won't give up. I won't." I promise, knowing deep down I would never get the chance to.

People can only break so many times before-

Before they are broken and there is no going back. There is no hope in the dark, no hope in the light and certainly no hope in love.

I am Dorothea Kanas. I struggle with Bipolar disorder. I've learned along the way I'm not my illness, but I'm a person with it.

But I'll never find love. Especially in my best friend's father, who could not see me breaking into a million pieces.

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Thank you for reading❤️

Y/N: again in no way shape or form did I want to offend anyone! I'm just trying to bring awareness of mental health in my book.