To All The Boys You've Loved Before 💌 Enhypen x Reader [ On-Hold ]

Chapter Thirty Two + Unedited

The need to forget everything, to be able to shove it once more into the back of your mind, drew you to rather desperate measures - even by your standards as someone who was always hesitating first at a choices you think was too direct. It wasn't as if you'd gone far; you'd just hopped in the long road trip with Jay and spent your time telling him what had happened in your house with the five boys.

But what was the use of it all? You don't know yourself too. Even the time away with him listening to everything didn't help. Your mind was too noisy and you had left the cause of it far behind, but at least one person is here to help it make sense of some part.

The chaos of your train of thought continued even once when Jay stopped his car at the hill facing the whole picturesque of the whole city. Ever since you stepped out of the door and stood beside him in the front, you began to struggle once more at the sight of your mom calling in the Facetime and it was definitely why you stayed there until the first signs of the night was in the sky.

What chance did you possibly stand before the problems at home and with her addition?

Unsurprisingly, when you began to kneel down at the grasses beneath your feet, and Jay was next to you immediately, he hasn't anything other than he would wait for you to recover. It was almost 7 pm now. You cast a hesitant glance at him before wiping your cheeks to remove the final trail of tears from your face even if you knew it would do nothing just how red your eyes were.

"Is it okay for you that I kiss you just like that earlier?", he asked as his eyes, when they settled on your face, widened even as a relieved smile graced him and it was short lived.

As soon as a small smile plastered on your face, you felt yourself being pulled to his side. "I don't know what to do anymore, Jay", you admitted to him. "I am confused and this past few days with them wasn't helping me. It's like I'm just going to the flow"

"Then just come to me if you couldn't hold it and let it go", Jay said softly, and despite all your attempt to hold it in, that was what it took to break you.

The clear care in his voice was all it took. With your face crumbling as tears rushed to your eyes again, you hurried to cover your face in your hands but it was enough. Just like that, his arms was outstretched to offer an embrace, hesitating if you would resist. Instead, you were the one to turn in his waiting arms and he cradled you against his chest, and he made shushing noises as you tried not to sob.

"I'm sorry", you started, hiccuping slightly against his chest, but your thoughts was to the other boy that you left along the others. "I'm so sorry I can't make up my mind too fast"

Jay cleared his throat witha raspy cough. "Don't be", he said back instantly, a single hand coming to brush a hair away from your face as you sniffled. "If they really do love you, they have to learn how to wait"