2 years has passed of Chris and Y/N's marriage and within those two years they had there ups and down but one issue in particular spirals out into more than one. Stay tuned for part three of "A Good Woman"
-Dajah💕
Aaliyah finally went back home and poor girl didn't even want to go back home but Aiden was there. I told her whenever she needed to get away because of her conditions then I'll fly her out here to be with Christiana and I.
Since I've found out I was pregnant I've been really considering abortion due to everything that's been going on and the feelings I've been feeling along with what I will develop later on and I feel like I'm not suitable to carry not one but TWO babies. I was always mad about something and my mind just was not in the space to have one.
I feel so terrible about an abortion already and I didn't need Chris making me feel worse on possibly getting one. I was crying to myself sitting in my room on the couch. There was a feeling that came over me of being unwanted, under appreciated, lonely and I can tell it was starting to affect my mood heavily. After I semi went off on Chris the other day when Anthony, Aaliyah and Sebastian was here I seen it then, and haven't really spoke to Chris since then.
It was like he says sorry and in my head what he's done lingers and when I see him and he does something I just automatically lash out and I know it's not okay but there's only so much he's going to take before he says fuck it. All of this was really fucking with me and I was really struggling. I've paid for a therapist to come see me but that doesn't start for about another month so I had to try and figure out how to last until then. I honestly didn't want to be here because it feels like for what? The only thing worth staying for honestly is Christiana.
There was a knock on my front door and I was really praying and hoping it wasn't Chris because I didn't want to lash out at him. I hurried and wiped my tears away walking downstairs to my front door. I opened it seeing Chris and Christiana sleep in his arms. "Hey" he said "hi" I said back as he came inside and I closed the door behind him. "You can lay her in her bed" I instructed as he took her upstairs in her room and I went to my fridge getting a cup of crushed ice before sitting on the couch.
I turned on the TV hearing Chris come back down the stairs. "You've been alright?" He asked taking the remote from my hand and turning off the TV. "Chris can I talk to you about something without you getting mad?" I asked looking down in my cup. "Yeah what's wrong?" He asked sitting down and looking over at me.
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"I-" I started off trying to find the way to speak on a possible abortion but how do you really come to tell someone that?
"I've been thinking about a possible abortion" I started off as Chris just looked away from me. "I thought you said we were going to work through this and you was kind of happy?" He asked as I just looked over at him and shook my head. "I lied. It was calm at the moment and I didn't want anymore tension so I just lied" I admitted as he just shook his head. "What?" I asked. "You don't need an abortion Y/N" he expressed.
"Chris I'm trying to tell you" I started off as he interrupted me "Y/N I hear you but those babies doesn't deserve that" he said as I just simply took a breath. "You hear me but you're not listening" I said before looking at him. "Y/N I get why you want the abortion but people are going to be with you through out your pregnancy so why get it?" He questioned. "Chris. You and Aaliyah are the only people who knows. Nothing about this pregnancy feels right " I admitted.
"So then tell the family and We'll go out to look at baby things" he suggested as I sighed "That's not what I mean" I stated "so what do you mean?!" He started off getting aggravated. "What do you want?!" He asked semi loudly. "What do YOU want?!" He questioned as I was trying to keep my temper down but he was pushing it.
"I don't find joy in doing that. This pregnancy is not like the last at all. I'm not even slightly happy I'm just here" I admitted. "At least last time I had you. This time you telling me you got me and I hear you I just don't feel it. I feel empty and if I'm feeling all of this going into pregnancy then imagine what I'm going to feel once I give birth" I explained.
"Y/N I don't know how many times I have to say sorry before you realize that I'm actually sorry" Chris expressed as I was quiet. "You do what you want to do but I feel abortion is a bit dramatic for this situation." He said as I looked at him crazy "because you not the one carrying them" I said. "You're going to feel like shit if you do this Y/N" Chris said. "I already feel like shit" I admitted "This is not something you need to do, I don't think I want you to do that to our children" he said as I sighed.
"Chris if I get it now, I could get the pill form, if we sit there and you change your mind later. I have to go to a clinic and do the whole procedure" I informed as he shook his head. "I made my decision" He simply said as I just placed my hand on my face leaning on the arm rest of the couch. "Chris" I simply said. "I don't want to talk about it anymore" he simply said standing up. "Chris I'm telling you right now" I started off as he looked at me "I have a feeling none of this is going to end well" I admitted.
"Y/N the decision is done. I don't want you to have it we'll work it out" he assured "and if you do get it I don't think I can forgive you for that" he admitted. "I'll pick Christiana up tomorrow so you can get some more time to yourself" Chris said as he walked out the door and I immediately started to cry.
This whole situation was making me feel like shit. Why would we bring two babies into some bullshit?! I have to deal with fixing our relationship, deal with two more kids, then try to fix myself. I'm trying with Chris but Im becoming done, I've been reaching out with this baby situation. I told my mother about Chris wanting another child and she told me to just give it to him because that's my husband and I have to make sacrifices. I reached out to Chris and he's telling me I'll be fine everyone is around me and he doesn't support me having an abortion.
I don't want to reach back out to my mother and tell her I'm pregnant nor do I want to tell Chris's family or mine because if abortion gets brought up they're going to drag my ass all while trying to tell them I'm not okay. I picked up my phone dialing a number "Hi, how May I help you today?" The nurse asked over the phone. "I was calling to get information on the process of abortion pills." I said.
