THE GHETTO HOOCHIE (Life & Times Of Princess Webster)

🍑 Twenty One: Gratuity

An oral session lasting an hour: $100 plus tax. And gratuity. If you were a two minute brother, that’s your problem.

When you come (meaning have an orgasm) then the session’s over. Anything beyond that we could talk about. Just make sure your wallet is
available with green bills, not debit cards.

My sexual exploits became tax write offs every year camouflaged as Volunteer Services. To simply eat the cooch (my word for ‘pussy’) ranged from $50 to $150, depending on his cleanliness.

Believe me…men paid out the ass to eat my cooch. The Cooch Eaters were mainly chubby men who couldn’t get it up or lacked the proper skills to pay the bills.

To have sex in the cooch for half an hour: $100 flat fee. To get the ass for half an hour: $200.

I always worded it “half an hour” because, to the consumer, it seemed like he would be getting his money’s worth when I advertised my product.

I didn’t like sucking dick so I said, “For head lasting 30 minutes,” because it seemed shorter.

You got me?
OK, keep up, damn it.

Anal sex was dangerous, so the fee was a little high. I supplied the condoms.

I gotta protect my investment.

I followed my menu to the tooth and nail. I never deviated from it.

If my clients were good enough, I kept index cards with their information and stored it on my palm pilot, a digital organizer given to me by Georgia for my birthday a couple years ago.

I saw particular clients probably twice a week and we kept it simple and discreet.

We always met in my room.

Daddy worked at a doctor’s office, filing papers. Twelve to thirteen hour days kept his ass at bay. So he was hardly ever here.

I had enough money to get one of those expensive condos being built all over Dade County, but I decided to work from Daddy’s house, and lay back and leave the driving to my pussy.

I wasn’t about to give these greedy, trying-to-take-over-Miami Cubans my hard-earned money.