Always and forever

35 - The future

Can

I waited for a long time in the hotel restaurant for breakfast, I hoped to talk to her but she didn't come, in the end I was forced to give up and go to the set to prepare for today's photo shoot. I look around impatiently all the time, finally I see her coming at a slow pace from the other side of the beach, she must have gone to walk on the shore again.

I'm worried about how she might react to not having found me next to her this morning, I know it wasn't nice of me to leave her after such a night, she would have deserved to wake up in the arms of her Can, happy and fulfilled to have finally shared their love in every possible way. But the situation right now is just too complicated and what happened helped to confuse it even more.
I shouldn't have allowed things to go this far, surely she had dreamt for herself of a first time that would coincide with their happy ending, their wedding and their wedding night.
I feel guilty once again for robbing her of a dream.

I run up to her and then stop embarrassed in front of her not knowing how to behave, I propose to her to have lunch together and she accepts and then hurries away, she seemed quite distant, I sigh, I understand that she is not really comfortable after what happened and is not happy with how I handled it.

I'll try to explain everything to her, I'll try to make her understand my point of view I tell myself as I return to the set.
The morning goes by quickly, at one point I see her go off to the other side of the beach and come back a long time later. I'm on tenterhooks, working mechanically while my thoughts are on her, on us, on what I will have to tell her.

Finally we are done with the shots planned for the morning, I am setting up the camera when Ayfer arrives with my phone ringing.
I am amazed to see the number on the display.
- Hello Polen -

- Hello Can, I heard you had an accident. How are you? -

-Yes, I'm fine, thanks.

- Huma told me that it was a bad accident, that you were even in a coma. She heard from your secretary that you are leaving for Venezuela and will be in a few days here in London, do you want to meet up? For old times' sake, what do you think?

- All right I'll call you when I get there, görüşürüz goodbye -

I hang up thinking about how much I hate the fact that my mother pokes her nose into my life, if I don't inform her she still tries to get to know what I do, it's something that bothers me enormously.
I don't know how I feel about seeing Polen again, in the end we were engaged until recently, in fact I don't even remember breaking up with her, but apparently two years have passed, many things have happened and clearly ours was not a love for life as we were more than satisfied to meet three times a year.
However, I will be pleased to see her again, she has always been a dear friend to me and we have shared many things in the years we have been dating.
I quickly return to the present, what I want to do now is to go and put down my camera equipment in the hotel and go out to lunch with Sanem.

I leave the set and in a short time I am already at the entrance of the hotel waiting for her, I see her coming from the beach with Ayfer, she greets her and turns to look at me, I observe her carefully, she is not exactly relaxed but not angry either.

-Ok, I'm here Can we go?

We walk for a while on the seafront, I look around for a restaurant that would suit us when I hear her say.

- Can if you don't mind I'd like to get some rest before the afternoon shoot and I'm not very hungry, if it's not a problem let's stop for a quick bite to eat at that place -

I nod, we sit down at the tables outside and order some sandwiches which are served immediately, an embarrassed silence reigns between us, I don't know where to start but it's time to talk to her.