The Augury

Part 130

[Portia]

"What?"
Sindy said, I was not going to keep this from Sindy last time I hide something this big, Siswati got arrested, I lost my daughter and I  decided to run away from home, if Sindy finds out that I knew that Jabu was violated and I kept quiet, all hell will break loose.

Me: I know the father and I know why she won't keep the baby. ..should I or should you tell her?"
I said to Jabu
Her: Portia please don't "
Her eyes pleaded with me I just looked away and swallowed, a part of me feared the outcome but truth will set you free
Sindy: if you two don't start talking I swear to God will beat the truth out of you " she bust out and said,
I looked at Jabu and she had tears in her eyes,

Me: I believe that To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength look Jabu, Honesty is often very hard. The truth is often painful. But the freedom it can bring is worth the trying. . . Sindy deserves to know please confide in her "
She looked down and started crying
Me: Jabu, Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it...please trust us we are your sisters and we just want to help you"

Sindy held her mouth I think she figured everything out, within the speed of lightning she was holding Jabu and rocking her while they cried out loud in each other's arms, my instincts as a big sister was to stop the crying even though it hurt realizing the truth, but there are both pregnant and being emotionally upset can hum their unborn baby's

Sindy: tell me who did this to you ?"
Her: I'm not sure where to start. I don't know why I'm "breaking the silence." Part of me wants to be recognized as a survivor, and a part of me needs to tell the story just to survive. Ultimately, I want other women to know. I want other women who've lived it to know they are not alone... But a part of me blames myself for being weak and too inviting... I should have not to get drunk...but mostly I should have not left Mbali ...I'm a proud lesbian but now pregnant with a child of a man I meet once in the bar"
Sindy: ooh my God Jabu ....don't tell me you were ...you ....were ?"
Her: violated yes!"

Sindy screamed I believe the whole hospital stood still as her loud  wailed shook the ground,
Her: I realize today that rape is not always violent, it was my fault I must admit I was in the wrong place at the wrong time ...."
Sindy: just stop with the self-blame Jabu, what happened to you was painful and wrong don't take the blame you the victim here ...."
Her: I don't want that stigma hanging around my head, ' another lesbian girl raped'
Me: Jabu it was not your fault "
Her: you say that but none of you is in my shoes, I look back at the incident now and I keep thinking of all the things I could have done differently. Perhaps, I shouldn’t have left Mbali. Perhaps, I shouldn’t have had so much to drink. Perhaps, I shouldn’t have agreed to smoke one last joint before going home.

The problem with being so drunk that you black out is that you are not a functioning human being. I was not myself. Actually, I was far from any version of myself I have ever been. I could not frame sentences, I kept fading in and out of consciousness, my limbs felt like iron pillars. I was a mix between a zombie and a doll.

He knew this. He pulled at me the way one pulls at the strings of a puppet. I had known bad sex, sure. But I had never known violation of consent before I met Him. The worst part is I cannot remember if I said no, all I remember is being too tired to move. Any energy I had left all went into the first few shoves."

As I look at Jabu narrate her horror story I felt tears blinding my eyes, she is strong enough to talk about it but weak to admit that it was not her fault, Sindy cried holding Jabu my first thought was
Me: why you never reported him"
She gave me a mocking laugh

Her: A bunch of reasons. First of all, I had zero credibility I was drunk to the point of having blacked out, the police, they would have assumed it was just another one of my alcohol-induced antics,
Secondly, I felt like People are so terrified of the truth, they would have twisted my truth into a lie. I couldn’t let that happen.
I thought the only way to avoid being silenced is to never speak in the first place.
 I felt as though a part of me had been ripped out. I don't think I will ever recover. I don't want my family to suffer. I just wanted my own pain to stop. "

Sindy: firstly! I need to make sure
that I’m being clear
NO means no ...are we clear!
...an INTOXICATED  person cannot consent are we clear!... an UNCONSCIOUS person cannot consent are we clear!...
SEX without consent is not sex, it’s RAPE are we clear! ...,
that man is guilty on three counts of sexual assault are we clear?

She said taking her phone and dialing a number
Her: get here now!!"
She dropped the call and started taking off her sleepwear,
Me: Sindy what are you doing? "
Her: fixing this!... No man will violate my sister and get away with it "
Me: as much as I agree with you at the end of the day its Jabu call to make"

Sindy: she is hurt confused and pregnant with her rapist baby and you think she in the right mind to talk?"
Me: Sindy I didn't mean it that way it's just that..."
Sindy: that the thing with you, you don't think, you run away when the tough gets going, don't make my sister turn out to be like you too "
Me: she is also my sister '
Sindy: to a man you have never acknowledged as your father?"

Her words cut like a knife in my heart I know these two girls before me are my half-sister but never thought in a million years that Sindy will make me feel like an outsider in her life,
I took my bag and attempted to walk out, Jabu  tried stopping me but I was too emotional to stop, I bumped into Menzi on the door

Him: Portia wow unjani ?"
I held my tears looking at him but they rolled down
Me: I'm sorry but I have to go"
Sindy: not until you give Menzi the name "
I looked at Sindy and Menzi and then Jabu a part of me wish to hold the information that Thabo gave me,  but deep down I knew that sooner or later they will find out anyway
Me: his Name is Impi ...Impi Nxumalo ...his location is in  Ngonyameni...the royal palace"

Them: "WHAT???".
.
.
To be continued.