Part 127

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[Jabu ]

My sister is in the hospital,  something to do with her baby not sitting well in her womb, that might be the case but from what I see in her eyes is more than that.

Mom took the kids with her and Sindy had asked me to stay,
Me: are you sure it's just stress and baby? "
Her: yes what else can it be "
Me: usually your husband is like a tampon in your life, I have been in this ward for almost an hour but Menzi has not shown up "
Her: His working "

Me: or he is the one that put you here?"
Her: Jabu"
Me: why you holding your pyjama top so right in your hands, I'm guessing you hiding bruises"
Her: not every man is like our father "
Me: end of the day a man is man...you can love him, take care of him but soon he will turn on you just like the wild animal he is!!"

She looked away and did not say a word, we had a good ten minute of just being silent, I'm stressed that I can't have an abortion, well I can but the Dr says due to the features being abnormally big I will need to undergo surgical abortion, the procedure is to either end the pregnancy or to remove remaining products of the pregnancy. This might lead to scarring of the uterus and can affect me ever conceiving in the future,

Her: why you never told me about the pregnancy? "
Me: I told myself you had more pressing issues to worry about when, deep down, I knew that you would have been by my side in a heartbeat..."
Her: and then what changes?"
Me: When I first realized I was pregnant, I laughed. It just didn’t seem real. I thought straight away about telling you but I didn’t want you to worry. You had enough stress. I'm only 23 and felt I could carry this burden by myself. You need never know. As you had told me several times, what you don’t know won’t hurt you."
Her: but girl we talking about a baby here I'm your sister I deserve to be the first one to know "

Me: I was not planning on keeping it "
Her: that's against our belief you know that very well"
Me: so was me being lesbian but hay you accepted me the way I am"
Her: Jabu I'm not the enemy here im your sister of cause I will support you no matter what but abortion!!! Come on sisi that just taking things a bit too far"
Me: it's my body "
Her: who's the father?"

I looked at her trying to answer but my mouth dried up that I ended up looking away
Her: talk to me!!"
It was not a matter of answering her that was a problem but what happened to me that will just make the situation worse,

" his name is Impi Nxumalo ... "
I looked up and my eyes locked with Portia, I felt my eyes burning up and the next thing I was crying hysterically
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[Cebo]

It's my last day at Mseleni and I am faced with one thing I'm dreading to do, face my mother it's funny that I have been in and out of  this hospital for almost a week the very same hospital she is also admitted in,

"You fiddling too much it either you thinking or avoiding thinking ...you won't find answers in your nails " I didn't even notice that he was awake I looked at him and looked down 
Him: I know that look, Cebo all this time ?"
Me: Alex was injured and you ...., Usher died I had too much on my plate "
Him: you had too much or you were avoiding seeing your mother "
My heart skipped a beat did he just read my mind?
Me: Omnia tells me that you ask Mbali to turn the guest room into a hospital room, why on earth did you refuse to go to the hospital? "
Him: you changing the subject...that means I'm right "
Me: stop analyzing me I'm not one of your suspects, decided I was waiting for you to wake up so I can confront you, you were shot Sfiso the wounds can be infected, damn it Sfiso! you could die...you need proper medical attention "
Me: I'm in love with paramedic you know everything that can prevent that "
Me: I'm not a Dr. And my leave is coming to an end!!"
Him: can you please stop shouting at me, take that anger and channel it to facing your mother...she is down the passage you know ward or should I ask the nurse to take you there?"
Me: ooh God you so annoying "

He turned his head and face the other way
Him: when I wake up I expect to hear another story, Please leave me, you giving me a headache"
Me: what ?"
Him: NURSE !!!! THIS WOMAN IS STRESSING ME !!"
He said shouting, I popped my eyes open God his so childish
Me: I'm going to get you for this! "
I said kissing him on his cheek, he chuckled as I walked out.

I'm bitting my lips and thinking what I will say to my mother...nothing comes to mind, besides the  four major questions I keep asking myself
If I was in her shoes would I have done the same?...
Maybe I should accept that maybe it's true she was under a spell and her actions were out of her control? ...or should I just Surrender and continue to believe that my mother is who she is an evil woman who chose her husband than her own daughter!....but I Know a grudge will only pull me back in my healing process I need to forgive her for me...for my son ...for my future.

" Cebo...Nomcebo"
I was brought to reality by a tap on my shoulder, I did not even notice I was standing outside her ward, I  looked up and was met by Zion church women amongst them was Duma mom, I almost did not recognize her with her green church uniform and matching doek

Me: ma"
Her: we just came to heal her with prayer ....bo mama this is mama Makhaye daughter Nomcebo"
Church lady 1: ooh Nkosi akasamuhle "
Church lady 2: thixo ngisho kuthiwani isipoko asibi sihle kanje uma sivuka emathuneni "
They laughed while I smiled and exchange greetings,
A lady in a different Zion uniform, it was yellow and white, she was the last one to step out of my mother's word, she looked at me and I felt a spark inside of me

" Nomcebo "
She said my name like she knew me if i register or jott back to my childhood memory i don't know this woman have never seen her but how does she know my name?

Her: Your mother doesn’t have to ask for forgiveness in order for you to be happy. Forgiving your mom for hurting you isn’t a gift for her…it’s for you. With forgiveness comes healing, freedom, and peace. Learning how to forgive your mother for what she did or didn’t do, you won’t just change your relationship with her but  Forgiveness changes your relationship with yourself. Forgiving her will loosen the anger, grief, and guilt you’re carrying. . . your gift is pure and will not manifest and work properly if your heart is still dark"
I looked at her
Me: my gift?"
Her: you an Augury right ?"
I looked at her with eyes wide open, who is she? I asked myself as Ma Abigail hugged me and walked away leaving me in awe.
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To be continued

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