The Augury

Part 110

[Jabu]

She walked on me googling abortion on my phone,  she looks at me with sad eyes, why am I with her?  why do I need her pity...her endless sorry... It's not your fault, I lost everything and I can't get it back regardless If I  keep the baby or not.

Her: Hay "
Me: I need air " I said standing up
Her: Jabu I know how you feel "
Me: no you don't and in tired of hearing you say that ..."
Her: ok let's say I don't Maybe you’re frightened. Maybe you feel as if your world has been turned upside-down. Maybe you think no one understands. Maybe you’re worried about becoming a mother or just getting through tomorrow.
Maybe you’re afraid that if you give birth to your child, your family won’t support you, or your friends won’t understand. Maybe the man who played a role in this child’s life won’t be in a way that gives you any hope for your future.
Angazi Maybe you believe you have only one choice.
Maybe you’ve never felt so alone as you feel right now

Look Jabu I can’t pretend to know your situation. But I'm not the enemy here I'm your sister and all I wish to do is help you.

I looked at her and bite my lip, I took my phone and gave it to her,
" Jabu come home now!!" She read out loud

Me: That was a message I received from Sindy, looks like she is back and mom told her "
Portia looked at me, as tears wailed down my cheeks
Her: it's going to be ok, I know Sindy will curry this matter with diligent"
Me: they gonna want to know the father of this baby, Portia...I can't tell mom how this baby was conceived that will crush her I just can't "
I said crying on her shoulder, she held me close and hush me
Her: for now you can keep those details to yourself till you are  comfortable to disclose them, It's your choice now how much you want to share with them, but either way I will support you "

Driving home I felt like peeing myself, I know Sindy will interrogate me and that is the last thing I need, with everything falling down, I don't need my sister to remind me of how stupid I am or question me about my sexuality.

I found my mother playing with Sindys kids in the living room, Minehle, and Jesmin
Me: sanibona "
Jasmin: mom ncane " she ran to me and hugged me, while Minehle wiggle her self from my mother's arms
Me: hello munchkins "

Portia set next to my mom as Sindy appeared from my mother's bedroom
Sindy: Portia "
Portia: hi Sindy "
Sindy: Portia may you kindly take the kids for ice cream "
Portia looked and me and I nodded, she then called the kids and walked out mom looked at me as her eyes turned glassy, I looked at Sindy standing by the door 

Sindy: I believe you have something to tell us ?"
Me: I would like you to sit down first".
She sighs and set down
Me: I know by now, you can feel it in your gut what I'm about to say. It's hard for me to tell you this, I'm scared, very scared." I wiped my tears

" But still I have to tell you and I don't want to break your heart. I can't tell dad, and please don't tell dad just yet...
Sorry, Mom, I'm pregnant"
Mom: oooh Nkosi Yami Jabu"
Me: I went to the doctor and
I got the news yesterday. I just don't know what to do. I've been crying night and day. Am scared Mom and I need you very badly. Please despite your anger, please don't throw me out of the house."
I was on my knees holding her legs crying my lungs out, she held my head and made me rest on her thigh as I cried, my tears did not pure out because I was pregnant but what I lost when I made that decision to go to that bar that night.

Sindy: does Mbali know ?"
Me: she doesn't know yet. No one knows. Only my family knows. I just want to let you know first before I do anything."
Mom: do anything? Jabulile what do you mean ?"
Me: I'm not keeping it "
Sindy: what ?"
Mom: ini !!!"
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[Omnia]

" I really like you as in I LIKE you a lot "
She flashes me a smile
Her: I like you too and thanks for today, I had fun "
Me: even though I was half distance because my dad is lying in some bed in a stinking hospital fighting for his life"
Her: he will be ok "
Me: you don't know that "
Her: I just have a feeling that he will, don't give up yet I will also pray for his speedy recovery "
I smiled and I placed my hand on top of her hand,
Me: thank you"
She blushed and looked away

Me: you so beautiful "
Her: Omnia you said that a million times today "
Me: are you fed up with hearing it? "
Her: no I love hearing you say it ..."

Her phones ringed again for a million time
Her: it's my brother I have to go "
She was about to open the car door  but I place her phone down and kissed her, she froze I place my nose on her's
" Follow my lead "
Her: I never kissed a guy "
She said shyly looking down I lifted her face with my finger,
Me: I know ...I'm willing to teach you ..can you allow me to do that? "
She nodded,

Our first kiss was a bit awkward but she is a fast learner and her lips tasted like heaven once she got the hang of it.
Me: today I proclaim you as my girlfriend"
Me: proclaim?"
She giggled
Him: babe I talked to you, touched you and kissed you, you don't expect me to just leave you?"
Her: I leave in Durban Omnia how is this going to work"
She looked sad or should I say worried.

Me: I know ...even distance can't keep us apart ... All I need is you,  I chose you not because you look good physically, but because you felt good spiritually.
I have nothing much to offer other than a heart to care and love you for whom you are, the distance will keep us apart but I'm willing to be the guy who will listen to you when you just wanna chat,
The guy who will send you cute morning texts just to ask how your night was, That guy who will read you fairy tales in the evenings."
She giggled

" I believe in the “little things”. Let's just say I'm in no rush to prove how I feel for your time will be my witness, I’m old school like that,  I have a million goals and dreams to achieve so my ambition is sky high,  I know my dream will take a while to manifest, but when it finally does, you won’t regret a moment with me"

She smiled looking at me
Her: you have a way with how you use  your words, who are you ?"
Me: I believe I'm your boyfriend "
She giggled we stepped out of the car and I hugged her, the street light was on and I know her family will bite her head off for coming back this late
Her: I got to get going "
Me: I will text you later "
Her: yes "
We kissed again and this time it was perfect made my blood rush.

I watched her as she ran to her house she stopped and waved at me.
I made my way back home and suddenly I felt this wave of fear the minute I packed my grandmother's car.
My father is in hospital I try to hold in the tear but they fell down.

Everything was going well Zanele was good destruction on what I truly feel at this point in time,  I was able to cope for the past few hours with faith that my dad is strong and he will pull through, but what I feel now is utterly fear,  it got me so bad and I can't stop crying. I am so afraid for what if? I cannot stop thinking of death and how guilty I feel being here faraway from him.  I have uncontrollable anxiety that my mind keeps taking me back to the time I receive the news. I can feel the anger coming back to me. I am so tired of being here to sit back waiting for his results while he is there fighting for his life, I just wish I could justify myself this dark feeling but I can't.

" hay baby "
Grandma said as I walk-in
Her: your food is in the Oven "
Me: ok "
her: Omnia!!"
I stopped with my back at her,
Her: look at me"
Me: ...."
" I said look at me boy "
I slowly turned and looked at her
Him: your eyes... what's wrong ?  "
Me: dad was in an accident "
Her: and they called you!!!? Who in their right mind calls a child and give them such new "
Me: maybe because they knew that news like this will make you shout for Joy "
Her: excuse me "
Me: this will help your case to separate me from my father right? ,  this is another evidence to prove that he is an unfit father yet again.. that is what you want right ?"
Her: Omnia!!" She said softly
Me: I love my father grams and if you use this against him I will run away from home and hate you forever!!!"

I said walking to my room and slamming the door on her face.
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To be continued