Remain Nameless | Bts x reader

Tea

She spent many of her waking hours thinking about home. The hut hid by the canopy of trees, the clearing in the forest where she spent hours upon hours training. It made more sense out there than in the monastery, where she was completely cut off from nature apart from the sky. She missed her friends more than anything. (y/n) yearned for their silhouette to walk in and carry her immobile body out of hope. There was an ache in her heart that would always come and go in the quiet moments. And there was plenty of them. Her nightmares returned often, they were more vivid than ever, but there was no Yoongi to wake her up, only the morning sun, after hours of the man dressed in which slashing at her skin. 

At least she had plenty of time to think about her offence. Harming a monk was punishable by death. What she did was almost always punished by death. Yet here she was alive. She had come up with two theory why. One the Abbot was letting her heal to repeat the painful experience, or two the Abbot had bigger plans to come. In her mind, she begged for the second option. The monastery was strict, only if she had stepped out of line, but not necessarily cruel, they wouldn't torture her, surely not. Whatever the Abbot was planning, she would have to go along with it, or she would be greeting death once more, but this time for real.

She forced her body to heal faster. It wasn't pleasant, but she needed to prepare her body for whatever was in store. She had been giving her form plenty of time to stitch itself up, and she was extremely out of shape.

(y/n) began exercising a little bit at a time, slowly she started to gain more and more strength. Someday it was hell  - on other days - her morning forms would be almost as perfect as they once were. It took another moon until (y/n) was in good shape, as before she set foot in the monastery. The skin on her back still felt tight, but overall she was much better.

(y/n) was proud of her body. It was strong and capable. She often traced the scars on her back (the ones she could reach) and her abdomen where the sword stabbed her. It was comforting to know she had endured so much and survived at the hand of the Abbot.

The monks and students treated her differently now, she was shy beforehand, but now she never spoke. She was a plague to be avoided. It didn't bother her, she saw it with Jihye, and she expected it from the rest.

She was tainted and unclean compared to their perfect attitudes toward hope. Their rebellious stages and wishes to go back had shrunk to nothing. The way of life at the monastery had imprinted on their lives. They had become addicted to the power and privilege, and routine. None of them would be willing to leave if an opportunity came. (y/n) labelled them all cowards and didn't want to deal with them. Jihye still checked on her every day.

(Y/n) tried to delay the inevitable, but it was only a matter of time for the unavoidable meeting with the Abbot. For the first time in two months, the girl stepped out into the courtyard. It hadn't changed. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of rings, where she had been tried up. She pushed the trapped breath down as she stared right at it. There wasn't even a spot of blood the monks must have cleaned up well.

Inside the Abbots building, it was quiet. There were none of the usual bustles that surrounded the Abbot. There was absolute stillness. No air stirred. Not a sound could be heard either close at hand or in the far off distance. Even her own breath seemed to die as soon as it left her mouth. It was an eerie sort of tranquillity, so instead of being soothed by it, her senses became heightened. She felt like prey even though no predator could be detected. It was as if the world were encased in a cocoon, a bubble, and there was no way out.  She had to face the man she so dreaded.

(y/n) let her body fill with the emptiness. As much as she hated it, (y/n) bowed fully to the ground, her forehead pressed against the cold floor. She refused her body to move an inch when the Abbots' sense washed over her. The Abbot would feel nothing within her, nothing but emptiness.