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22-Even A Fool Knows

"Listen to Even A Fool Knows by Stray Kids."

Jin's POV:

"You are wasting my time. I want to talk to your sister! Not you!" I yelled as Jimin dragged me to the hotel's bar.

"And I'm not allowing that unless you tell what you are going to tell her."

I sighed and sat down next to him reluctantly. What am I going to tell her? "I don't know. My mind is blank. But I know when I see her, I will figure that out. Maybe I will apologize first." I shrugged.

"For what ?" He cocked his eyebrow. "For talking shit to her? For leaving her alone in the middle of night? "

"For everything. For whatever I did to her. For whatever she thinks I have to apologize for. Just let me meet her. I'm not letting her go again."

"Why? Jin, both of you are messing around. "

"I'm not. I can't mess around her."

"Do you have any feelings for her?"

"I'm tired of answering that question too many times but no. Not in the way you think."

"So, what's your damn problem, man ? Let her go! Don't be toxic."

"I'm not being toxic. I love her. I know it's not in a romantic way, I guess. But it's the same for your sister. She loves me not in a romantic way."

"Please listen to the shit you are saying." He rolled his eyes.

"I tried love, it's fucked up. I tried friendship. And that lasts."

"So you want to turn your friendship into marriage? What the hell?"

"I'll turn it to whatever makes her not leave my side, Jimin." I sighed before I shift in my seat to be completely facing him. "I can't do with my live without your sister." I started spilling out hoping that I won't get punched. "I can't think straight when she's not around. I panic. I mess. I hurt myself and hurt others. I do stupid stuff. I can't sleep, eat, or function like a human. She guides me, she fixes me, she puts me on track. She organizes my life and lightens it up. She adds her presence to every dark corner of me. She makes me a better person."

"Shit. You are using her !" He uttered in surprise and that was a good sign cause he wasn't angry. He was willing to listen.

"I do." I admitted. "But she uses me too. I'm the only one who can manage her anger and her panic attacks. I can calm her. I can tame her. I can contain her. I can push her to exceed her own expectations. She knows that and that's why she comes back to me knowing how I would put her shits together again. And I can always find her when she runs away."

"And you can hurt her." He added. "Jin, that night she cried till she passed out. I didn't see her cry that much since grandpa passed away. She's not the crying type girl."

"I know. Look, Jim. I don't regret proposing. I regret anything and everything except that. I'm still where I think that I would like to get up every morning to her nagging and kicking me out of bed. I would like to eat her cooking. I would like to share my everyday with her and then end every night with our hot chocolate cubs while talking on the couch. I don't know what to name this but I just want her by my side. I need her by my side, Jimin."  

Jimin was listening to my hopeless pleading while rubbing his chin. He was thinking of my words. "What if she refuses meeting you? Or what if she meets you but brushes the marriage thing off the table?"

"I won't give up. I will try again. I know she doesn't hate the idea. I know she was lying that day when she said she thought I was joking. She doesn't hate me. She doesn't hate the idea of being with me. She just panicked as usual."