Our Little Secret ➳ Camila Cabello

thirty-six

We were at the venue, and everyone was asleep, I decided to sneak off the bus and get to the catering room before the other girls woke up so I would have a few moments to myself. But it wasn't long until I was receiving a text from Ally.

Mama Ally: u slammed the door & woke me up. thanks

Y/N: sorry lol

Mama Ally: where'd u go. I still wanna talk

Y/N: well I don't wanna but I'm in the catering room waiting for a little bit of food. U can join if u so please to

Mama Ally: I'm on my way

I rolled my eyes and put my head on the table to try to focus on something other than the tremendous pain pushing through my body. Soon, someone tapped my shoulder causing me to spaz out and pull my side crying out in pain, "Jesus H. Christ!"
Ally smacked the back of my head, "Don't say his name in vein. I mean it."
I rubbed my head and gave her a evil stare, "Are you trying to give me a headache too?"
"No, I'm trying to knock some since into that pretty little head of yours." Ally smiled trying to lighten up from the subject. She sat across from me at the table and sat three pills in front of me.
"Are you bribing me with drugs right now?" I asked trying to be a little peppy.
"That depends. Is it gonna work?"
I grabbed the pills and put them in mouth to swallow the bitter yet bland taste. "We'll see."
Ally put her hand out to signal me to hold hers. "Will you please tell me about that night? Please. If you couldn't tell by the bags under my eyes, I'm so exhausted from the thinking about it all night. Just put my mind at ease."
She was right. She looked so mentally and physically drained. "What do you want to know?" I sighed knowing that she wouldn't let up.
"What happened that night." She squeezed my hand noticing that I was becoming stiff, "Don't worry I'll keep this a secret."
"Don't bother. I've heard that too many times recently and no one ever keeps it." I bitched at her, but she just ignored at it and listened to me. "Do you want me to start at the beginning or the hotel?"
"Wherever you want." She gave me a motherly smile before getting up and sitting in the chair beside me so she could comfort me if I got weak.
"Well," I felt the Percs start to have their effect already. "I took a few pills and made it to Austin's door. Camila answered it and she was already in a robe but I didn't think anything of it because I was already a bit... um, gone." I looked up from my hands to see Ally frowning at the thought of me abusing the pills. "Well, Austin came out of the bathroom and tried to kiss me, but Mila stopped him to set some ground rules. I don't remember exactly what they were but it was something about hickeys and whatnot." I coughed trying to keep myself from becoming emotional for a moment. "We went into the bedroom and Camila kissed me and tried to unbutton my shorts, but Austin got impatient and whined about wanting me. Camila looked sad but let him take me. He pulled my shirt off and noticed my bandages, then pressed his fingers on it making me hurt a little. Mila got onto him, but he didn't seem fazed at all about the topic. He kissed me and laid me on the bed. I was really uncomfortable but I just kept thinking about how it would end soon. Oh, and also hoping that I wouldn't remember anything tomorrow if I even made it till then." I paused for moment, "Well obviously now I made it but my memories are sadly still in tact." I had to look away from Ally's eyes because she about to start crying and that was going to kill me. My voice was kind of shaking not able to recover to my regular tone, "He got off of me to get a condom and told Camila to get me 'ready'. While he was gone, she told me that if I needed her that I just had to yell for her and she'd get him away from me. She promised me, Ally." I could feel my throat start closing as my breathing got harder to control. Ally laid her hand on my knee and scooted closer to me. "He took me first and ....started. That's when Lauren was banging on the door, and he ordered Camila to go answer the door, and I begged her to say but he wouldn't let her. He started to hurt me a lot, Ally." I felt some tears drop from my ducts and I couldn't stop them. "I screamed for Camila a lot but she didn't come for what seemed like forever. By the time Lauren came in, Austin was already done." My breathing was getting shorter and my chest was pulsing. "I can't talk about it any more, Ally. Please don't make me. Please."
Ally brought me into a hug and kissed my cheek lightly, "You don't have to baby girl. You're fine now. I'm sorry you had to relive it. I didn't mean to make you this upset." I was so emotional right now. And it made me feel sick. I pulled away and got up to run to the nearest bathroom before puking in the toilet. Ally quickly followed and opened the stall to hold my hair while I upchucked the pizza from last night. She knelt down and rubbed my back to comfort me. "You need to see Sarah today. You could be sicker than you think."
I shook my head, "No. No more medicine please. I don't want this anymore."
"I know you don't." Ally was shaking. I could feel it as her hand began jittering on my back, "Just let her check you out. He could've really hurt something."
I shook my head and puked a little more before feeling okay enough to sit on the ground beside the toilet. I brought my legs to my chest and put my head on my knees. "Just let me sleep, please. That's all I want is sleep."
"You can't sleep forever." Ally muttered.
I looked at her and frowned, "Just let me try. I just don't want to be sick anymore. I don't want to be hurting anymore. I don't want to hurt y'all anymore."
"The only way you'll hurt us is if you try to avoid us and just stay in your bunk all day. We are already worried." I rolled my eyes and Ally pulled me into her, "I know what it's like to have to struggle to stay awake all the time. Please just try today. All we need is one day."