Our Little Secret ➳ Camila Cabello

thirty-five

"What the hell is glistening on your nose?" Mila squinted getting up from the bed to walk towards me. "Is that glitter?"
I shook my head and once she got closer she was shocked, "What the hell? Is this the errand? Getting a damn piercing."
I shook my head, "Not just that." I turned to show her my tattoo.
"That better be henna." She scolded me.
I laughed, "You're funny, babe." I walked away from her clutch and carefully slipped into the bed.
There was a knock at our room door which caused me to groan because I just want to be left alone.
"Ally, she got a tattoo and piercing." Camila whined as the short Latina walked into the hotel room.
She scoffed, "I'm sure she did." Ally crashed into the end of the bed and acknowledged me, "Did you take your Zolofts yet, y/n?"
I sat up a little and sighed, "Not yet. I wanted to do it after I changed my bandages. Will you grab my Jansport bag for me?"
Ally nodded and got off the bed to grab my black backpack and carefully hand it to me. "Nice piercing." She mentioned. "What's the tattoo?" I turned my head to show her the irritated dark and simple tattooed crescent moon. "That's cute. What's it mean?"
"You always call me sunshine, but sometimes I feel like the moon. Dull yet shining just enough to find my way." I replied grabbing the Zoloft and swallowing it down.
"That's deep as hell, but you are sunshine. You just don't see how much you radiate." Ally gave me a motherly smile and I just chuckled. She's so cheesy.
Mila came in from the bathroom to join us, "I wanted us to get our first tattoos together." She pouted, pushing her bottom lip out.
"Camila, you'd probably get her name on your boob or something. I don't trust you getting a tattoo." Ally laughed.
Camila nodded, "Probably."
I felt scared thinking about anyone having my name permanently imprinted on their skin. That's forever and I've always hoped that Camila and I could be forever, but no one can see the future.
"Mila, will you get me my bandages, please?" I asked her. She smiled then got up to grab the bag filled with gauze and tape. She brought it back and I began to strip off my shirt.
"Woah there, baby girl! Wait till I'm out of here." Ally averted her eyes away from me.
"What the hell, Alls? I don't take my bra off for this, just my shirt. We are all girls here. I'm not just gonna jump Mila's bones right here, even though she wishes I would." I smirked and gave Mila a wink.
"Please stop," Ally begged. "Or I'll leave."
"Fine. I'll stop." I laughed reaching over by Ally to grab the bag. Her eyes got big seeing my hips.
"Y/N, what did you do?" Ally asked with a worried tone.
I started to feel a nervous wave crash over me, "It-it's nothing."
"Mila, did you do this?" Ally asked the small brunette.
Camila looked up from her phone to see my injuries and start to freak out, "No. Babe what happened?"
"Can we just drop it? Th-they are just bruises and scratches." I insisted as I began to peel the tape off of my body to reveal the stitches.
"No, we can't. What happened?" Ally asked worrying more and more with each word.
I shook my head and ignored her, "Mila, do you have some of that spray or something antibacterial?"
She nodded with a sad face to get up and walk to the bathroom to retrieve the spray then walk back in.
She kept the spray in her clutch, "You'll get this when you tell us what happened."
I frowned thinking about how I got them. Of how Austin was roughly clawing my hips while pushing into me. I started to shake a little, "It's no-nothing. Just drop it, please."
Ally put her hand on my leg and sent me a warm smile but her eyes were quickly tearing up, "Please tell me, please."
"It was Austi-n." I stumbled with my words having to say his name.
Camila handed me the spray and left the room to go to the bathroom. Im guessing to try and contain herself.
Ally looked at me and quickly wiped the tear trying to escape her duct. "Lemme look at your hips, please."
I nodded and stood up beside the bed so she was eye level to the injuries. She lightly touched the sensitive skin causing me to curse under my breath. "Babe, these could get infected. He broke a little skin and hurt you pretty bad."
"I'm fine. Just don't worry." I handed her the spray. "Just fucking spray my stitches for me and drop it."
"I can't drop it, he hurt you."
"Drop it because Camila is freaking out right now." I whispered.
"Fine, then you and I will talk about it on the bus." Ally retorted before Camila walked out of the bathroom with slightly puffy eyes.
"You wanna get the girls and go eat?" Camila asked us in a strong voice.
Ally smiled, "Yeah. I feel like we need a little bit of fun in this drama."
I looked down at my black stitches and cringed at the thought of having a needle being pressed into my skin. "I gotta put these bandages on, and then I'm supposed to be getting a call about a casting audition, and some headshots. So, it'll have to be some place relatively quiet." I started unraveling a piece of gauze and began struggling to keep it up.
"First of all, lay down and let me help you, baby girl." Ally laughed. "And since when do you have a casting call? I didn't even know you were on a list."
I laid back so Ally could help me put my bandages on. "Since it came to my attention that I don't wanna be your groupie anymore. I need to make a career for myself."
"Who told you you're a groupie?!" Ally was upset.
Camila broke into the conversation, "No one. She told my Mom that she thought she was one because she's so 'irrelevant'. And I don't want you to leave me for some movie. I need you on tour."
"I am a groupie. I mean, I get paid for helping you girls out, but I don't want to have to follow you all around for the rest of your lives and then have fans think I'm using you for your fame. Especially, Mila." I admitted as Ally finished patching me up and I slipped my tee on. I rubbed my wrist and noticed the bandage was caked in blood again. I peeled it off to expose the deep cut. Mila grabbed my hand to look at it. "It's still pretty bad. I think it may need stitches, babe."
I shuddered at the thought of having another needle pierce into my skin. "No, I'm fine. I just need to clean it up a little."
She gave me a sad look, "It'll get infected. At least let Sarah look at it when we get on the bus." Camila begged.
I hated having Sarah check up on me. She was the girls tour doctor that helped them when they pulled a muscle dancing, or gave them medicine when they were sick. She was always worried about me because she could tell I never felt the best, and I think she was the one who put the original idea of depression into Ally's head. "Did Austin do that too?!" Ally yelled.
I snickered a little, "No, I did it."
Ally was almost furious, "What the hell?! YOU CUT YOURSELF?! IM NEVER TAKING MY EYES OFF YOU NOW!"
I put my hand on her soft shoulder to calm her down, "No, mama alls. Camila and I were... hanging out... and my wrists kinda got hurt."
"I don't understand." Ally was not letting up.
"Don't make me say it, Ally. It's embarrassing." I begged.
"Say it!" Ally demanded pushing her blondish hair out of her face.
Camila looked at me with a smile and got her phone. "I'm gonna go get the other girls."
Once she left I couldn't help but smile a little pressing the bandage onto my stinging wrist. "Camila and I were at her parents house and we were doing some...things, and she tied me up and-"
"What the hell kind of kinky things are you two into? A rope won't slice into you like that." Ally was pretty mad. "Plus you two aren't supposed to be having any sexual interaction while you're in pain. That'll just make it worse."
"Well, it wasn't a rope. It was a handcuffs, and I wasn't complaining at the moment." I giggled.
"Where the hell did she get handcuffs and how did you hurt yourself so bad?" Ally asked grabbing her shoes she kicked off only moments ago to put back on so we could leave.
I smirked, "Mama, you really wanna know about my sex life, huh?"
"On second thought, no. Just be fucking careful and stop letting Camila seduce you." I heard her say behind me as we walked out of the room.

--

After a night of pizza and laughs, we all passed out in our hotel rooms, then woke up at 1:30 A.M. to get our suitcases ready and our asses out to the lobby to wait for the tour bus to arrive.

I wasn't too thrilled about being back on that bus seeing that we are still on Austin's tour. But I was really excited for the fact that during dinner I got a call from Universal about playing a part in their movie. They didn't really specify on a role but they said it was a huge part that they'd love to have me in. The director knew my Uncle who had called in advance to see what he could get me and 'voila'! I'd be taking a break from the girls in two weeks to take my head shots, and do my audition. I was so excited, but Camila wasn't too happy about hearing that I'd be pursuing other ambitions that didn't include her at the moment.

Camila cuddled with me in my bunk, but I stayed stiff to her touch. It wasn't just Camila, but I was so scarred from the memories that I couldn't really relax in anyone's grasp. I think I'll have to learn how to get comfortable again, and that'll be hard.

I got a text late during the night, and it was from Ally.

Mama Ally: I can't sleep until you tell me about what happened.

I groaned quietly hoping she'd hear me from her bunk.

Y/N: I'm not getting up to tell u about my problems tonight

Mama Ally: I'm seriously worried about u tho. u bottle up too much, baby. one day you're going to explode & I don't wanna see that happen

Y/N: my Ambien is finally starting to work again so we will talk about this tomorrow. ok? I need this sleep more than anything rn

Mama Ally: fine. but I will be talking to you ASAP tomorrow morning

Y/N: what ever u want. night xo

When Ally wanted to talk about emotions, I kind of clammed up. Emotions are gross and too much to bother with, but to Ally they were important. I guess tomorrow I'll have to suck it up and tell her the story no matter how bad it hurts. I just better not see that fuck boy around me or the girls at all tomorrow. Or he's fucking dead.

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