† Twenty Six †

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We sit in silence for some more time before I finally decide to get up off my ass.

"Where are you going" Niko asks almost immediately and I sigh.

"I'm going for a walk" I state before I trudge off.

"Don't follow me" I add on, staring deeply at the ground.

My body takes control and leads me to wherever it wanted.

It led me to a beautiful river surrounded by trees that were full of leaves.

Rays of sun gleamed through the branches and shined upon the clear water. I could see a deer and two fawn quickly following after.

They tripped over rocks with their skinny legs. They were awkward.

It reminded me of the grounders.

Blindly following their Commander into the unknown.

It was stupid.

I don't know why I even let myself get close to the brunette leader.

It was a bad idea from the start, getting involved with any of them.

I should've known my place and stayed in the shadows.

The place where no one but myself could judge me. The place where only I could hate me for who I truly was, for all the things I've done.

I was a monster.

I am a monster.

That's never going to change. No matter who I meet or what I do, I'm always going to be seen as the outsider.

The one everyone is scared of.

I shake my head at my thoughts, knowing they were true but also knowing that I wasn't made to show my emotions and have my own damn pity parade.

I sit at the edge of the river, my feet hanging into the warm water. My boots are situated to the left of my sitting form as I continuously throw small rocks into the stream.

I could hear a childish giggle and see the boy I had protected not long ago peek out behind a rock.

When he recognizes me, he sprints towards me and I smile.

"Hey bud" I talk softly, not wanting to disrupt the nature around us. His mother chases after him but when she sees me she stops.

She pulls my knife out, handing it to me.

I meet her eyes and she nods for me to take it.

"Keep it. He should have it when he's old enough" I tell her and she hesitates before keeping it.

"I don't believe I ever got your name" I tell the woman and she smiles at me.

"Althea" she holds out her hand and I nod.

"Amara" I grab a hold of her forearm as she does the same with me.

We release each other and I look down at Issac who was playing with the water.

I put on my boots and pull him out of the stream.

"I better get going" I tell them as I notice the sun setting.

They nod and I turn to them.

"The village is safe again, they're rebuilding it"

The mother nods at my words and I flash her a smile before I begin the walk back to the camp.

My eyes widen when I arrive and see the Commander pinning Dakota up against a tree, a sword pressed against the pregnant girls neck. "What the hell do you think you're doing" I growl and Lexa releases the girl.

"I need you to help us fight this war" she states, putting her sword away.

"Why" I ask skeptically.

"You can get in easily" she states and my shoulders sag.

She's playing it smart by asking me for my advantages.

That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt that she only wants leverage and not me.

"Fine. I'll help you win your war. Then I'm leaving" I state and she tilts her head in anger.

"You're not going anywhere" she growls lowly and I roll my eyes.

"Watch me"

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