Lost In Her Eyes | Lee Felix |

65

Felix's POV

"Let's go"

"Yes, you highness" driver said and started driving away from the palace

I guess avoiding and denying what I am feeling just to move on wasn't enough knowing that she loves me and she was lying when she said she never had feelings for me. That night when Chaerin chose Hyunjin over me, I was hurt and left the resort. I drank all night and cried as much as I can. I want to clear my mind and what I feel. I don't want to say some words that I would regret. Then, the next day. I found out from my Mom about what my Father and Chaerin talked about. At first I don't want to believe it but everything makes sense when I heard it myself. It lessened the pain that I was feeling when I realized Chaerin loves me and it was always me she will love.

After a few moment, the car parked in front of the Love Orphanage. It's already late. We left the Moon's residence early and I thought of going here tonight.

My Mom talked to me earlier and I kept realizing things as the time goes by. I felt pain when Mom said she was never love by my Father. I guess she doesn't want me to make Sangmi feel the same. Also, she is also regretting for making my Father suffer longing for the woman he loves. I am not mad at my Father because I know he never abandoned both me and Mom. He took care of us but he never loves Mom. My Mom probably wants me do what my Father never did before.

It was choosing the woman I love.

I know it is wrong for bothering Chaerin when she already left to avoid me as much as she can but still... I want to try it one more time. I am still hoping and I would never lose any hope. If ever she won't choose me and will still reject me. I won't regret not trying in the future. Even if she reject me, I will still be happy to know that she loves me.

I got out of the car and entered the gate. I saw how Moon Sungho looked at me confusingly "I want to talk to Chaerin"

"Why do I have to meet you always? Is this a sign that you will hurt one of them?" Sungho asked and deeply sighed "I will call her" he said and entered the big house

I guess he went here when he left earlier during the dinner. He said he is going to some friends but he ended up going here. As far as I know, Chaerin doesn't know anything about Sungho but he is an orphan and her bestfriend.

"Felix" that voice...

Just hearing her voice calls my name makes me feel at ease. All the pain and sadness I felt, those nights I cried and suffered alone longing for her was gone.

Just seeing her standing a few steps from me makes my heart beat go fast like how it used to be whenever I see her. How come I am still nervous and happy when I see her? It was like the first time I realized that I like her. Now, I miss those days that I kept denying all my feelings for her but it turns out I am lying.

"Why are you here?" Chaerin asked

"I'm sorry for making you go out this late"

Chaerin looked away "I am busy. Just say what you want. I have to do something"

"Chaerin, I already knew everything. That night when you said you just wanted my money and you never had any feelings for me. I know you were lying. I know and I can feel that you love me. My Mom told me about what you and Dad talked about. You don't have to leave me because you were scared that I might receive a punishment for refusing to be a King. I am not scared and I am willing to accept it as long as I am with you. Those punishments means nothing. You know I have always wanted to live a  normal life and it wasn't your fault that I chose that life. I don't understand why do you have to suffer our love for that"

"Felix, just stop. It won't change anything. If you think talking to me will change something, you were wrong. I am fine with the decision I made. Also... You deserve someone better than me. I know you will be happy-" Chaerin

"I would never be happy! I will never feel happy! Do you know what makes me happy? It's being with you! And you already left me! I am begging you but you kept avoiding me! Ahn Chaerin, stop doing this. P-Please..."

She bowed to me "I need to leave, your highness-"

I pulled her and quickly hugged her from behind "I will be crowning as a King tomorrow. I-I went here to a-ask for the last time. C-Can you choose me? Again..."

"I-I'm sorry, your highness" she whispered

Fuck.

"Once I take over the throne, they will make me marry someone else. You don't want that to happen, r-right? So, please"

She removed my hug and faced me as she caress my cheeks while tears falling from her eyes "I am sorry but everything is already decided. I will be there. I will watch you"

"Chaerin..."

She smiled at me and wiped my tears.

"If you really want me to leave you alone. Can you say that while looking in my eyes?"

She looked in my eyes "It's a goodbye for us, Felix"

I think it is really a goodbye...