I'll Never Repeat It

Chapter Eighteen: Needs

18

I've been quiet around Chris lately, I've been sleeping in the guest room. I know if I sleep in the same bed with him, I'll wanna have sex with him. He's been pretty quiet himself, we only kinda talk at dinner. Even that's been sparse, he hasn't had much for me to do with him either.

While at work, I look at the time. It's near my lunchtime. I can't ask Chris to lunch because he's got some huge meeting today. Not like that'd go well anyways, I'll ask Max. I haven't seen him in at least a week. I miss him so much. Maybe I can talk to him about what's been going on, obviously not all of it but, some of it.

I take my phone out of my drawer and text Max "Hey! Lunch in an a hour? I miss you, I wanna catch up."

I put my phone away then lean back in my seat. My heart still hurts from the other day. I'm having a hard time faking my feelings for him. I know I'm falling for him, fast. I just can't believe he said I better not be in love with him. Maybe I am? Maybe I'm not? Maybe it's just lust? I sigh, what am I gonna do?

Max and I ended up having lunch at a restaurant near my work. When I got there he was already there, I walk over to him and hug him from behind. "Hi Max."

"Hey! There you are. I ordered already. I got your usual."

"Thank you." I let go of him then sit at the table

He takes a sip of his drink then says "So how's it going? How's the billionaire?"

"Fine, he and I could be better though."

"What's wrong? He tried paying for your coffee?" He teases and touches my hand

I roll my eyes "No, he just, he was telling someone he doesn't want me falling in love with him. And that he doesn't fall in love with anyone else."

Max cocks his head to the side "I mean, didn't you figure that he wasn't a romance guy when he told you he and that girl were just fucking."

"I don't know what I thought. I just hate that he said I'm basically not allowed to fall for him."

"Well, are you?"

I shrug "I don't know, maybe?"

"I think you do know, I think you're just scared to be hurt again."

"Okay don't shrink me, that's my job Maxwell."

He holds his hands up in defense, "Hey hey, I took the same classes you did, Char. I'm on your side but I also know when you're bullshitting."

"I just don't like that he took away my choice, what if I do wanna fall hopelessly in love with him. I at least want that choice."

"You wanna be validated, I get it. You need to see his side though too, babe. Maybe he's scared to be hurt too. He's probably got his own trauma he hasn't worked through. You should know that better than anyone."

"What am I supposed to do? Shrink him?"

"No, you're supposed to be patient. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll change his mind but, maybe he won't. Love's not always reciprocated and it sucks but it happens."

I sigh, I know he's right. "I just wish he would see my side of it. At least acknowledge my feelings for him. He told me I was his and that he likes me, he just doesn't know how to show me."

"Then hold on to that, he may change his mind. I know the simple solution is to run. But don't, I'm begging you don't. I see how happy you are with him, I don't want you to lose that joy."

"I don't either."

"Plus I can only imagine how many girls that have gone after him just for the fact he has money. You're probably the only genuine girl he's had around. He might even be scared of you, Char."