MIDDLE GROUND

29

The bright full moon is high in the sky, almost as blinding as the sun to my sensitive eyes.
I hear chanting and music playing.
My body feels weak, tired, and very cold.

Maggie.

She must have won. The chill on my back is my sign that Danu, Selene, and I lost. Her frozen heart beat out my warm one.

"Come home fear shidhe, Hush my child, not a whisper pass your lips,

Let your heart go dreaming of your lovers kiss.

Deep in your heart the merriment grows,

A sliver of silver now starts to show.

Follow it to the river, see the stars above and the dew below.

Bask in Selene's glow, your heart filled with wild joy,

And light. Light of lights in burning adoration calling you home."

I see the silver sparkling, very similar to an ethereal string and take my first step in the darkness with my feet planted on the ground. My eyes are not my own but Selene, Danu, and others guide me with their own. The moon is full and I feel myself laid down bare on a slab of stone in a garden where faeries roam.

Although the night is cold, it doesn't compare to the Artic that is Maggie's heart. I know her spirit is still alive and fighting for my body, but I let my heart's desires and the silver fill up my vessel. When I see my body is full the world becomes dark at first but my eyes open and adjust to the moonlight.

I'm home.

"She's awake! Thank Goddess, she is awake!" I know that voice.

"Mom?"

***

My father, the King of the Faerie folk, has placed me in a lavish room with everything a little girl could desire. Only, I'm not a little girl anymore. He had a room made my arrival over a decade ago when I would love unicorns and every hue of pink and purple imagined all over. It's close to someone throwing up Pepto Bismol and saying it's an aesthetic choice.

I'm in recovery and have been ordered to stay in here while my new room is being decorated. It has a lot less pink.

Violet is a sprite that has been appointed to care for me. I can bath and clothe myself but apparently a princess doesn't do that.

Each day has been the same for the last 2 weeks:

Breakfast in bed. Bath and dress. Doctor visits mid-morning. Lunch by myself. Tutors for the rest of the afternoon so I can learn about Faeries, Druids, and other supernatural beings. Dinner alone. Tea with my parents before bathing and going to bed.

It's exhausting.

My mother and I haven't really talked. The tea set up in my room is made for a 4 year-old with low wooden seats and a matching painted table. I miss Fiona and Liam. I miss Oisin. Oddly enough, I miss Rian.

Since I am of royal blood, there will be a ball in my honor to show me off. From what I gathered it's basically a debutant ball to find me a husband. Because what young lady doesn't want to be pranced around in a ballgown and sold to the highest bidder?

Luckily that is one thing my mom and I have in common. She fell in love and was an exception to the rule, why shouldn't I be any different?

Today is my dress fitting and the first day without tutors or the doctor. My mother is overseeing everything, including my custom designed dress. But the King has final approval.

"You need to stand still." I've been on a pedestal for hours being measured and fitted. Scraps of fabric are put next to my skin to see if they clash or not. I've only asked that the dress not be only a scrap of clothing. "It's been over 2 hours! Can't I at least sit while everyone says yes or no to the fabric?"

There is a shuffle amongst the handful of women, Violet, and my mother. "No. I need to see your figure while I sketch your dress. Do you want to win the heart of a man or not?" He's about half my height but bulky, holding a sketch book, pencil, and a ribbons around his neck. His hair is slicked back with a curl in the front. He's dressed head-to-toe in designer clothing, tailored to him of course. A plain white collared button up shirt with a red and gold vest over it and black pants. He looks up at me like I'm daft.

"Who are you?" I sass back at him.

"Your fairy fucking godmother. Now stand still while I create my masterpiece, Cinderella."

My mother looks panicked and everyone has stopped doing whatever it is that they've been doing. "Jacques, you will still design her dress, right?"

He gives a simple nod and everyone is back to work.

My mother gives me a dirty look and returns to the guest list. She goes through all the royal men in the supernatural world, including my own Oisin and Rian. They responded right away and even asked for a private audience with me before the ball, but my father won't allow it.

"Jacques? Can this dress be sexy yet conservative? I'm not the show-off type of person, you see, and I want..."

"Princess, let's cut the shit. You're a canvas any renowned designer would kill to work on. Half druid goddess, half faerie. You could wear trash and everyone would still want you. What the fuck are you doing now? Crying?" He must have saw something in my eyes because he told everyone to leave, although his words were more crass.

He offers me a seat at his desk, which has a special chair for his size. Sitting on the wooden chair reminds me of my lack of clothing. It's chilly and the lingerie doesn't cover much.

"Come, come. Tell Jacques what is going on. Why are you so upset about being a beautiful woman?" I laugh at his comment and make a snorting noise that he reminds me isn't very lady-like of me.

"That's just it. In my old life I wore sweatpants, cardigans, cotton t-shirts always a size too big. I was considered curvy and that term wasn't always a compliment. My mother died, or not, well she wasn't there for me even before she left to live here with my bio dad."

He sighs and takes my hand. His small hand in mine lights up and he closes his eyes. I don't feel anything but warmth but his face is making many different expressions, like he's watching a movie behind his eyelids.

"Oh my dear one, you do not have to fear any longer or hide your beauty. You are a survivor. A strong independent woman. We cannot change our history, but we can take hold of what is here and now." His hand moves from mine and I know he has seen the horrors I've lived through and felt the emotions and self loathing I've felt all of my life. "Princess, you also can harness the power of magic and I have a feeling you will be a Queen like no other. To mess with you would be to take on the gods. Fate has brought you hear, my dear. Have faith in yourself and more importantly, in me." We both laugh and hug before he brings everyone back in. He says he's been inspired and I am allowed to leave for the afternoon. The fitting is bright and early since the ball is tomorrow night.

Today is my last day as a little girl in my childhood bedroom. My parents will gift me my new room in the palace tomorrow to get ready in.

I trust Jacques, but I don't know if I trust Fate.