Hermosa// Quackity x Reader

Pt.10 Feelings Are Fatal

T.W. mention of Su*cide domestic abuse and ED. 

The song I refer to is above if you want you can read  and listen at the same time as I feel it really describes what y/n is feeling

Y/n's P.o.v 

When we got home from the park it was around 15:00, Alex was in the shower so I went into the guest room where I was staying and decided to listen to some music. The song Feelings are fatal started to play, I had never heard of this song before so I must've got to the end of my playlist. The song was really relatable- "keeping my feelings hidden"  damn that lyric really hit me. My eyes started to flood uncontrollably and tears rapidly rolled down my face.  

A/N: T.W. These paragraphs  go into a lot of detail about y/n's mental health so if you aren't comfortable reading it, just skip it 

I've never really opened up about my feelings to anyone, not even Wilbur. I just ignored them, I was never ready to face them ever since my attempt. I know the dangers of trying to face my feelings,  the last time I tried, I lost the battle. I remember waking up in a hospital bed, my mum sitting beside me. She had bags under her eyes, she looked like she hadn't slept in days and her mascara was all smudged. I never knew my dad, he left my mum before I was born. I never met him because he had told my mum that he wanted nothing to do with us anymore. It never really upset me as I never knew him, so I grew up not thinking about the fact I had no dad. My mum said over and over again, "why y/n? Why would you try to do that to yourself".

My ex boyfriend Samuel, used to shout at me and hit Tell me I was worthless and how no other guy would want me so I was lucky to have him because he was the only person that would date me. Every time I tried to leave, he would threaten to k*ll himself, guilt tripping me into staying. That lasted for 4 months. I never told anyone at the time because I was frightened that he would find out. In the meantime, me and Wilbur had fallen out, he said that I was never spending anytime with him anymore, I was always with Samuel. That was because Sam would never let me, he would question where I was going all the time and he eventually forced me to stop seeing Will because he thought I was cheating. Of course I wasn't though. I was also failing school and my mum was mad at me for it. Eventually I gave up trying, I would sleep all day, I stopped eating, barely drinking. I was numb, every time Sam shouted at me I just couldn't hear him anymore, I just zoned out and let the same thing happen each time. 

But here I am, in a safe place with someone I love so much. But I just can't be in a relationship right now, I'm not in the right mental state. I haven't opened up to anyone about how I feel. "I need to let go and I swear that I've tried" the song really explains how I'm feeling. 

I slowly curl into a ball, my sleeves soaked from my tears all I could taste was salt from the sea of water droplets crashing down my cheek. They just kept falling. All of a sudden there was a knock at the door. 

"y/n, are you ok? Can I come In?" It was Alex. I really tried to reply but I couldn't get a single word out so I let out a pathetic noise. He clearly sounded worried so he immediately came in. His face completely dropped into a frown as if he was in pain at the sight of me crying, he ran over to me and wrapped him arms around me. 

"Hey it's going to be ok. It's alright I'm here" He continued to embrace me in his warm arms and tell me it was going to be alright but the tears wouldn't stop coming. His hoodie was drenched from my tears, but he didn't seem to care he was too concerned. I hated that he was seeing me this way, but I had bottled up these feelings for so long they had finally beaten me. But at least Alex was here, the person I love, here to comfort me, god I love him. He is all I need and want right now. Should I come clean and tell him everything? 

A/n: I hope you enjoyed this, in the next chapter, something will actually happen :)) if you have any suggestions for some oneshots feel free to dm me as I'm thinking about making a mcyt or quackity oneshot/imagines book. No smut tho as quackity is not comfortable with that.