The Sweetest Devotion

My Personal Feelings

Thursday morning and Jack walks into work alone to Thomas and Clarissa sat talking with a cup of coffee and the usual morning pastries. "Ahh, the wanderer returns how is Nikki?" Thomas smiles happily knowing Nikki had a scan on Tuesday to see how the baby is doing. 

Jack places his bag down at the desk and sighs before turning to his colleague, "About that.." He sighs running his hand through his hair. 
Thomas and Clarissa turn to look at Jack, "What's wrong with her?" Clarissa asks in a worried tone. 

"Well when I was called out this morning, she was fast asleep in bed... She texts me half hour ago telling me she was bringing up her breakfast," Jack chuckles. 

Clarissa gives a sigh while Thomas still looks at Jack with a confused look, "Don't get us worried like that," Thomas responds. 
"Oh and I'm going to need early paternity leave," He speaks. 

"Is everything okay with Nikki?" Clarissa presses.
"Oh Nikki is fine, the usual morning sickness and Braxton hicks... the baby has stopped growing so they want to deliver her on Wednesday morning, which I think means Nikki will have a Caesarean section" Jack explains as he reaches over and takes his favourite pastry from the box, something he hasn't been able to do for ages when Nikki was working due to her sudden preference for that pastry. 

The three sit in silence for a moment, Thomas and Clarissa clearly trying to process that Nikki would be having her baby next week instead of in four weeks' time. "Woah... that's a shock. How did Nikki take it?" Thomas asks. 
"This is Nikki we're talking about, she bottled it all up when it was announced, but we got home and the flood gates opened. We've managed to take our mind off it by finishing off the nursery, and my Da said he would do regular drop-ins to see how Nikki is doing" Jack responds happily as he glances down at his phone to see a text message from Nikki again. 

"I can't believe it's all happening in the next week, Jack Hodgson an actual Father, a sight to see" Clarissa chuckles. 

Jack rolls his eyes at Clarissa's comment, it was true she never had him down as the father figure and now it would be put to the test in the coming days. In all honesty, he was terrified of messing up and making his child's life a complete mess, despite his own childhood being relatively normal despite the loss of his mother and aunt he managed to grow up unscathed, he knew he would want his own daughter to have an even better upbringing than what he got. 

After spending too long in silence Clarissa decides to break the silence as Jack walks to his desk and sits down. "So how are you feeling?" She asks. 
Jack was almost stunned by this comment, no one had asked how he had been with the news of his child coming soon. "Yeah, grand... we just need to get Nikki through it all first."
"No Jack, I mean how are you feeling about this?" She presses. 

"Jack, if it's any comfort to you, Rosie was a week late, and I was still terrified," Thomas adds. 
"I've had no time at all to stop and think about how I feel recently, I just want to get Nikki through this," Jack speaks. 

Clarissa comes forwards and stops beside his desk, sitting forwards she waits for him to respond again noticing he was thinking "I'm terrified," He responds running his hands over his face and sitting back on his chair. 
"That's more like it Jack, it's a natural response Jack... starting to show your human side now" Clarissa smiles. 

Jack smiles slightly and then glances at Thomas who is sat on Nikki's empty desk, " What about?" He adds. 
"I'm just worried it's all going to happen again, with what happened to her son from the previous marriage," Jack responds. 

Thomas and Clarissa both sigh almost in unison and watch Jack for a moment, "It's bound to be a worry for you both, especially after her miscarriage last year..." Thomas says. 
"What if she comes out and dies?" Jack worries trying not to show too much emotion to his colleagues. 

"Jack... these things do happen, we can't stop them... but Nikki told me they're going to monitor the baby closely throughout labour and the hours after she is born," Thomas responds

"Nikki keeps telling me...lightning never strikes twice in the same place, But I read up..." He begins.
"Don't beat yourself up Jack, you and Nikki are going to have a very healthy and happy baby girl, I promise you" Clarissa responds and Thomas places his hand on Jack's shoulder before giving it a friendly squeeze. Something about his colleagues talking to him about how he was feeling currently helped him realize that he can't control what happens when Nikki has the baby, all he can do is support Nikki and hold her hand through it all.