Unexpected Promises

Chapter 59

Atifa's pov: 

"I don't know why am I so bad! I don't know why those who are close to me always leave me and if not them, then I leave them." I mumbled, hiccuping, trying to stop my incessant tears. 

All the things happening right then were reminding me about abbu. About how he left us. And it was astonishing, the fact that ammi wanted us to leave. Because as far as I had thought, she would have never wanted anyone else to experience the same feelings and emotions. They were too overwhelming... Too intense... 

And even though abbu didn't deliberately leave, and when he did, it… It was to never return back… Just the thought of leaving someone, made me remember what I felt, what we felt when he left. The helplessness, the feeling of being lost, the guilt of doing anything and everything wrong - even if they were long forgotten and forgiven before that moment - the regret of not doing certain things, it just… It just crashes on us and crushes us under its weight. Even if it's not our fault in the first place... 

The feeling of losing someone close to us is just… indescribable. Whether it's losing someone temporarily or permanently. And in this case, we didn't even know which leaving was this. If we would ever be able to meet again or not… 

"That's not true Atifa. I- We aren't going to leave you. No one is going to leave you. And even you aren't going to leave anyone, okay?" Keeping one of his hands on my cheeks and wiping my tears away, he replied gently, softly, his hazel orbs moist themselves. 

"You can't say that to me when my ammi is planning our departure outside." Keeping my hand on his hand, I replied while looking away from him and trying to remove his hand from my face. 

"I can say that to you because I know that I won't be leaving you. Ever, In Sha Allah." I could still feel his lingering gaze on me as he breathed out. 

"You can't be so certain about something when we don't even know when our death might knock on our doors." I mumbled, tears obscuring my view once again as I tried to blink them away. 

"Allah Subhanahu Wa Taàla won't take me away until and unless my purpose is fulfilled and my time is over in this world. And even if he takes me away, know that he will reunite us in Jannah once again. And there will be no separation there." Wiping my tears away gently, this time with both of his hands, he let them stay on my cheeks. My breath hitched when he kept his forehead on mine as my eyes involuntarily closed on their own accord, feeling his breath fanning my face. 

(Jannah - Paradise) 

"In Sha Allah." I murmured quietly, and even in this situation, felt heat creeping up my face. 

"Now wipe your tears away and give me a smile." He mumbled, caressing my cheeks softly. 

"Act before you speak." Laughing, I replied while moving my head back, making him drop his hand. 

"I'm smiling!" He gave me a small smile, his eyes gleaming as the brown colour overpowered the green one, giving him a soft, gentle look. 

"Yes, Now you are." I replied while attempting to smile back at him. Standing up and turning back to my bag, I added hesitantly. "Come on now, help me pack up." 

"Again packing? Do you not understand me?" He exclaimed angrily, sounding frustrated. Even the hint of the small smile which was there on his face seconds ago vanished, making me regret my words immediately. But I had no other option. Even if he told me otherwise, I knew we were going to leave. The moment I saw the furious determination in my ammi's gaze, I knew we were doomed. I knew there was no way out. I knew she wouldn't be listening to anyone.