Cookie

50

"You need to go home, Nat, at least for a few hours. Take a shower, change clothes, eat something actually nutritional and maybe sleep in your own bed for at least two hours." Logan says handing me a cup of coffee as I shake my head welcoming the warmth of it.

It's been 5 days since Liam was shot, 5 days since Tiffany and I killed our father, 5 days since my boyfriend is in a deep coma due to his injuries, and 5 days since I took a shower. I haven't left his side not even when the doctors were taking him to the hospital, as my cries and screams forced them to allow me to go with them in the ambulance. I didn't have the chance to change my clothes so I am wearing the same bloody outfit only that one of the doctors was kind enough to give me a shirt to put on. 

"I am not leaving his side, Logan, not gonna happen," I say brushing my fingers through his dark hair, ignoring the beeps of the machines and how pale his skin is. 

"Nat, you're going to get sick and Liam will kill me for allowing it, ok? I will stay with him until you come back, you need to go home too. Your mom needs you..." 

And I know she does, I know coming home to find the entire living covered in blood, police officers everywhere, Jasper's body on the ground, and no sign of me wasn't easy on her. I know she had a panic attack, a big one that eased on her only when he saw me in the hospital hall waiting for Liam to get out of the surgery. Mom pulled me in her arms and hugged me so tight that I thought I will be left without air, but I didn't mind it, I actually welcomed it. I needed to hold onto someone so I don't end up breaking apart about what my dad did and what I did.

Jasper's eyes still hunt me, the way he looked at me when he realized I stabbed him, the pain in there, the feeling of flesh being cut, the resistance of bones and tissue against the knife... It still keeps me up at night and if I fall asleep even for an hour or so I have nightmares with my father's blood covering my hands, his eyes, and words. 

It's not easy, but I know deep down in my heart it will get better when Liam will weak up and I will get the chance to hold him in my arms again. Only if he will weak up...

No, he will weak up. I don't care about the chances the doctors said he has, I don't care about numbers and possibilities, because I know he will come back to me. He has to, he can't leave me alone...

"Hey," Logan says coming and hugging me, his arms wrapping around my shoulders as tears start falling down my cheeks staining his white shirt. "He will be alright, Nataly, don't worry. He's a tough guy and he will not let anything keep you two apart." 

Like reading my mind he says exactly what I so much need to hear, something almost anyone else would tell me. Everybody just keeps coming in and out telling me to be strong, to hold it together, but no one says he will be alright and I need to hear it. 

"You know, a few days after you two met, Liam and I got into a fight, a big one," he says looking at his brother with watery eyes and half a smile on his face at the memory. "I saw the way he was looking at you and how you acted around him. I was afraid he will break your heart and Mary will break up with me because of it because I was the brother of the guy who hurt her best friend. So we got into a fight" 

I smile looking at Logan, tears falling down my cheeks as I try to imagine those two fighting. I never witnessed any sign they would ever fight. "I can't picture that" I confess looking back at Liam, caressing his cheek. 

"Oh, yeah, we don't fight often, but when we do we kind of keep scars to remember it."

With big eyes and shock on my face, I ask half yelling. "Did you fight, like actually fight?"

"We fight like I almost broke the idiot's ribs, yes." he laughs and I shiver thinking at the pain Liam must suffer. "You know he said to me when I was beating the shit out of him asking to stay the hell away from you?"