Man - y.kh

eighty-one.

When Hyungwon left the bathroom, I had the door open for him. "Wonho's gonna drop Benji off tonight," I shrugged, ready for him to go.

"Kihyun," Hyungwon sighed softly. "Please, can you just talk to me? Let me explain."

I shook my head. "I told you that you slept with her because she was a girl and you hesitated. Hell, you didn't even start to answer. That? That was answer enough for me. That was the explanation." I shouldn't have let him in. He needed to go.

Hyungwon folded his arms as if he was running shit in my house. "No. It wasn't. Will you just talk to me?" I wasn't having this.

"No!" I stated firmly, walking up to him. "You cheated on me! When I've done nothing but be here for you! When Minhyuk was still feeling you up, I stopped him. Every single time you almost killed yourself, I was there. Did we just suddenly forget the fact that you're severely traumatized, seeing as another brother of yours took advantage of you and your... dare I fucking say it, your kindness? Did we suddenly forget that I spent my 18th birthday grieving the man I once knew? Did you forget all the shit I've done for you and been with you for? Hyungwon, I am one solid motherfucker. I am there when I don't fucking have to be. And you go and you cheat on me? Fuck you!"

Once the sentence left my mouth, Hyungwon reacted with a harsh slap across my face. "You think you're tough shit because you bring up all the trauma in my life? Don't make me bring up yours. Your mother would've rather gotten dick than believe you were being abused. And if that's not one of the shittiest things I've ever heard, I don't know what is. Somewhere along the way, you became my parent. Not my lover. I wanted a lover for once. So fuck you, Kihyun." I scoffed, feeling the cut inside my mouth from where he pushed the skin into my teeth.

I looked up at him and before I could say anything, I heard a tiny whimper. "Daddy, stop!" Benji cried. We both turned to look at him, wondering how much he'd seen. He was shaking as he cried. "Daddy hurt Ki... Yun hurt Mama... no more hurt!" He ran up to me, reaching up to be held.

"I'm okay, baby. It's okay." I shushed him. "Daddy didn't hurt me. Daddy didn't hurt Ki." Benji wrapped his arms around my neck, crying on my shoulder. I went to sit down on the couch with him, rocking him back and forth to soothe him.

Hyungwon only rolled his eyes. "Benji, I didn't mean to scare you... Today's not a good day to come over after all. Come on, I'll take you home."

I looked at Hyungwon, my heart breaking quickly at what he was doing. The way he spoke to me, the way he looked at me? He was taking Benji home and keeping him home for a while. When he reached to pick Benji up out of my lap, Benji let out the loudest scream he'd ever made before. "No! No! I want Ki. Daddy go home, not me." My jaw dropped slightly, looking at how pissed off he was with his son's behavior. Well... you shouldn't have fucking scared him then?

"Benjamin Jude Nakamura." No one ever, and I mean ever used that kid's full, government name. "Let's go." Hyungwon went to grab for him again, but he screamed again. I looked at the arm he extended for him.

There was a knock on the door. "What's going on here?" Minhyuk asked. "You were coming up here to pee, why are you screaming, why is he crying?"

I looked at him and took the opportunity of Hyungwon's back being turned to me and started mouthing to Minhyuk. "Please let me keep Benji here. Look at his arm." I saw Minhyuk glance nonchalantly toward his arm.

"Hyungwon, what is going on here?" He asked again, buying time for me to explain to him.

He wasn't answering Minhyuk and starting to get defensive. "I'm taking my son back home where he belongs. It's not like Kihyun is his fucking father, I am. Benji, we're going home. Stop screaming like that. Someone's gonna think you're being hurt." Hyungwon went to Benji's room to get his bag.

"Kihyun, what do you see?" Minhyuk asked quietly. "I'm missing something?"

I nodded quickly, getting up to close the door. "Hi!" I greeted to... literally no one. I just needed an excuse to say the word in a different context. "Minhyuk... don't let him take Benji anywhere. Nowhere. You hear me?" He didn't understand still. I looked down the hallway and went back to mouthing. "He's high. Hyungwon is high." His eyes widened as he understood finally. I went back to the couch to hold onto Benji.

Hyungwon made his way to the living room. "Benji, let's go." He has made his way back into my lap, not wanting to leave me. He didn't like violence and when someone committed an act of violence, he stayed next to the person who was hurt. Hyungwon reaches for him one last time and that was Benji's breaking point as well as mine.

"Alright, Hyungwon, that's enough!" I snapped. Benji whimpered and started to cry more. I didn't even have time to ask what happened before I figured it out. "Oh Bubba," I picked him up, taking him to the bathroom.

He sniffled, apologizing to me. "What are you doing now?" Hyungwon asked, following me.

That's when Minhyuk piped up. "You scared the kid so much that he had an accident. Just let him stay here for the night. You need to go home and cook off and have a break. You and me, Hyungwon. It's time to go." I was praying that was enough to break him from his pigheadedness.

I started a bath for Benji, reassuring him that it was okay and that accidents happen. When I heard the front door close, I finally broke down crying myself. "Ki? Ki no cry." Benji pouted, wiping my tears for me. I smiled lightly, kissing his forehead.

After his bath, I laid him down for a nap on the other couch in my living room. I pulled out my phone, calling for someone who could help me figure out what to do here. "Hello?" She answered.

"Mari," I sighed, flipping my couch cushions. "Help me please." I broke down again, my heart aching and longing for relief. "Benji's not my kid. I'm not legally his parent. But I know Hyungwon's not in his right mind and I'm scared. I'm scared for him, I'm scared for Benji. I can't... he can't go home with him, Mari."

The line fell silent for a second. "What do you mean? I know you guys broke up a month ago, or you left or something. But what's going on? You're not making anything up because you're mad are you?" Dear God, how I wish I was.

"I looked at his arm, and I noticed needle points. He's taking a shot for migraines that is administered through the muscle, not the vein. He was a little aggressive today. He hit me in front of him. He kept trying to pull Benji away from me and he didn't want to go home. Poor baby ended up pissing himself. He's never been this afraid of Hyungwon before and I'm not willing to let him go home with him until I know Hyungwon is sober. Please, I don't know what I have to do. But I don't need Benji going home to him." I wiped my tears, sitting on my living room floor. "If I have to fight him for a custody arrangement somehow, I fucking will. I'll be damned if another kid in this fucking town gets fucked over at a young age. Especially mine. I know I just said he's not legally mine, but he's my kid. I fought for him too, I told Hyungwon to fight for him. I'm his Ki and that's my Bubba and if anything was hurting him? Mari, I know that's your new found brother any everything, but I don't give two shits who the fuck he is. If his household is a toxic environment for his own child, I want the child with me."

Mari sighed a bit. "I will go have a chat with him and a bring a CPS officer as well." I know she didn't want to and I didn't want her to have to either.

"Thank you, Mari." I sniffled, wiping my tears.

She hummed softly. "Mhm, but Kihyun?" I piped up to listen to what she had to say. "If nothings wrong? If you're lying to me or making stuff up in your head? I'm gonna have to evaluate you too. I'll do this if you're sure that's what you want." None of this was anything I wanted. It was just what had to be done.