Man - y.kh

seven.

We pulled into the parking lot of a store. "What are you doing?" I asked, slightly irritated.

"Getting you a sports B-R-A," Hyungwon spelled out. I groaned slightly as he got out of the car. "I know you don't want it but I refuse to have you suffocate yourself and be in pain just to keep a level playing field. Get out of the car." I scoffed, pulling out my phone instead. Hyungwon was not having it. "Look here, I will yank you out the driver's side. Get out of the fucking car."

I rolled my eyes, "Fine!" I yelled back, getting out. I followed behind Hyungwon, keeping my head low. It was embarrassing. "I'm sitting in customer service, I'm not gonna tag behind you. This is degrading enough." I sighed.

Hyungwon shook his head. "Me trying to keep you around is degrading? I'm sorry I'm not the idiot who used ace bandages for binding. Even I know you're not supposed to do that." I looked down slightly, avoiding eye contact with people.

"I'm sorry I was born in the wrong body, I'll kill myself and come back in the right one." I quipped, walking closer to Hyungwon.

He stood by and let me walk in first. "Don't even joke about that," he said. Who said I was joking? I kept my mouth shut until we parted ways. "Go ahead and scream 'rape' if someone tries hurting you or taking you. I'll hear you."

I just nodded. Silly boy, didn't he know that no one pays attention to someone screaming rape? He didn't know anything about being a girl, which is understandable. But we all know that you're supposed to scream 'fire' instead. More people would look in fear of their life, as opposed to ignoring your pleas for someone to save yours. I sat by the customer service area, getting on my phone. I had texts from my mother. I didn't even want to read them. But the moment I texted her back, telling her I was going to block her, she called me.

I plugged in my earbuds, answering the call. "The fuck do you want?" I asked. I has a short fuse. I didn't want to deal with any of this shit

"I want you home, Sora," she sighed. "That Hyungwon... He's bad news. Please, I want you home. I want my family together."

I shook my head, chuckling a bit. "You bailed him out didn't you?" I asked.

I heard the hesitation that gave me my answer dead on. "What do you mean?" She asked.

"Is that man, that I got the balls enough to put away, living his life in your fucking house?" I asked again. There was no answer. "So, Hyungwon's bad news, but the man that would rape me during the day and sleep with you, use those same hands on you at night... That bastard's not bad news?"

I began pulling at my pants, anxiety crawling up my throat to choke me. "Sora, baby... I promise you, he didn't do anything." My mother was relentless.

I bit my lip so hard that I drew blood. "He... He didn't do anything?" I screamed. "He didn't do anything? Every time I get in the shower, despite locking the door, I feel like he's watching me. I scrub my skin raw, because I feel his hands touching me. He's not the only man but he's the man that would do it the most. And you refuse to believe me, your daughter?" I was breaking down more and more. "You know... I never, ever considered myself your daughter. But calling myself what you want seems to be the only way you can hear me. See me and believe me. You refuse to hear the pain and suffering your daughter's voice and recognize that she's fucking telling the truth? Do you so desperately need someone that you'd be content to sleep with a rapist, child molester, abusive ass, piss poor excuse of a man? Mama, please. Tell me, tell me in all honesty. You don't believe me because I'm transgender. Because I hate the body I came in, you don't believe me. Say it. You've said it before. You find me more deranged than the man you have basically allowed to use me." As I took a deep, shaking breath, I turned my head to see Hyungwon. He stretched his arms out for me and I looked down a bit before finishing my rant. "You won't say it, because you know the moment you admit it, you have to feel guilty. You have to allow yourself to be angry with yourself instead of me. You have to allow yourself to succumb to every negative thing said about you that you fucking deserve. You want me home? I am home. My home is with someone who would drag me to the store to get me a tight sports bra to wear when I can't wear a binder. Someone who immediately respects the fact that I identify as a man. Someone who threatens to harm anyone who harms me. Hyungwon is a better parent than you, Mama. I've known him for a day. I'm your flesh and blood and I don't want to know you at all. As long as you lay down with that man, you're victimizing many more children. I'm not coming back home. Go fuck yourself." Hyungwon grabbed my phone and hung up as he saw me prepare to throw it.

I choked out a sob, looking around to notice people looking at me. "Kihyun," Hyungwon mumbled. I shook my head, running out of the store. I heard him follow me but I didn't care. I just needed to get out of the store. "Come here, shh." Hyungwon reached for my arm and I turned and grabbed onto him. The tears just poured and I broke down in his arms. "What happened, bud?" He asked, walking me to the car.

"She wanted me home." I mumbled into his chest. "I don't know why but she did and she doesn't listen to Kihyun. And I thought for just a second, maybe she'd listen to Sora." I sniffled a bit, wiping my tears. "She bailed him out..." The moment I said that, I realized something. "Shit... Hyungwon, I have to go back home."

Hyungwon looked at me. "What? No. I'm not taking you back." I let go of him.

"Wonnie, please! I have to go back home. Take me, please." I ran to the car, getting in.

Hyungwon finally decided to take me home. As he turned the car off after pulling in the driveway, I jumped out, running up to the door. I unlocked it, walking into my house. My mother was on the couch with... Him. "Sora," he grinned. "I've missed you..."

I shook my head. "Mama, where'd you get the money to fucking bail him out?" I asked.

"I've always had money, Sora." I shook my head again, knowing she was lying to me.

I ran upstairs, going to my room. I grabbed my lock box from underneath my bed, quickly unlocking it. My envelope was gone. I ran downstairs, anger fueling me. I walked up to my mother. "You fucking bitch!" I screamed as I slapped her in the face. In turn, my demon grabbed me, slamming me against the wall. "That money was to pay for my gender therapy and for my testosterone shots!" I screamed. "Get off of me."

My mother stood up. "Abraham, let her go!" She yelled.

I felt his hands run up my body and closed my eyes tightly. Suddenly, a gunshot rang out and I quickly turned to see where it came from. "Put him down, Abe," Hyungwon said, holding a gun and steadily walking toward us. "Or else, the next warning shot will be right between your fucking eyes."

Abraham chuckled a bit. "You're in on her sick facade too?" He asked. His laughter stopped when he was faced with the metal barrel sitting by his head.

"Put him down, bitch," Hyungwon taunted him. The cock of the hammer scared him enough to shove me away, effectively throwing me back into the wall. "You think you're a tough man, right?" Hyungwon asked, standing in front of me.

Abe glared at him. "I know I'm a man, kid. I'm a man, unlike that mentally ill little whore behind y-"

Hyungwon bucked toward him again, shutting him up. "He's more of a man than you ever could be. Call him out of his name one more goddamn time, I swear to God, your bitch over there will be painted in your blood for once, instead of your jizz." I didn't like this side of Hyungwon, but I loved it compared to dealing with Abraham. "You think you're a man? I bet you your bail money that you cried to her, that stupid fucking broad right fucking there, begging her for help. You probably couldn't stand being used by your cell mates. I know you were in gen pop. And I know they don't take the news of a child molestor too lightly. How'd it feel Abe? Hmm? How'd it feel to not have a damn say in what your body's purpose was? How was it? It was torture wasn't it? So you needed her to get you out. Sweet talked her a bit?" Hyungwon reached his free hand down, helping me up. "And Ms. Yoo?" He asked, gaining my mom's attention. "You're in debt. How much was his bail? About 10k?" My mom nodded. "You're paying Kihyun back. Every penny. Maybe he'll be generous and give you $20 so you can buy yourself a toy of some sort. Stop being fucking stupid. You're letting him play you like a violin, while your son suffers. All because you need dick. Grow up. That cocksucker most certainly grew your child up when he didn't have to." Hyungwon grabbed onto me. He pulled his trigger again, nothing but a small click sounding. "You're lucky I only had one bullet. But I knew you'd pussy out. You're a weak man." Hyungwon pushed me toward the door, rushing me to the car.

"Oh my God," I whispered.

Hyungwon looked over at me. "I'm sorry to scare you. Let's go back to the hotel... Give me your phone first." I furrowed my eyebrows, handing it off. Hyungwon popped out the SIM card before driving off. "I'll pay to get you a new provider." He said. "And I want to sit and listen to you talk about everything. If you want to. I gotta protect you, Kihyun. That's the last time I can ever go somewhere and front as if I knew what I was talking about." I nodded, understanding completely. I just sunk down into my seat, listening to music as we headed back to our sanctuary.