Man - y.kh

sixty-nine.

Who the fuck calls us at four in the morning? For three weeks, other than our parents and Jooheon, we haven't talked much to anyone. Hyungwon and I moved into a small house, big enough for us and Benji, pretty much against everyone else's wishes and opinions. Thus, we don't talk much to others.

"Hello?" I sighed softly, sitting up. "Wonho, you couldn't text me? You're gonna wake Benji, that's why. What's going on?" I was silent for a bit as I turned on my light. "Yeah... yeah I'm here. What happened? Are you okay? Shownu's gonna be back, he's safe. He just picked up some graveyard shifts." I felt a heavy weight on my chest. "I have to tell him huh? Okay. I'll let you know how it goes."

As I hung up, Hyungwon began to stir. "What the hell did he want?" He asked, turning to face me. I looked down at him, taking a deep breath. "What happened?" Hyungwon sat up, trying to wake himself up.

"Well," I started. "You're the sole custodial parent of Benji." Hyungwon furrowed his eyebrows, confused. "Hyungwon, they found Akira..." He was starting to get it. "They found her in Lake Cauraine. And they found that her date had a cabin on that lake. So they got him. He's the number one suspect."

I saw the pigment drain from his face. "She's dead?" He asked softly. I nodded sadly. "Akira's fucking dead?" His panic started to rise.

"Hey, calm down." I mumbled, grabbing his hand. "Do you need something or someone?" I asked.

He nodded taking a short breath. "Minhyuk," he said. "When she got pregnant, he was the first person I told. When I saw the first sonogram, I showed him first. He was a big constant in my relationship with her, I need him." I reached for my phone, calling Minhyuk.

A tiny knock on our door caught my attention. "Ki?" Benji asked. "Daddy?" It became apparent to us that Daddy was a word that Benji knew well and it was easier for him to call a man in his life Daddy. We hadn't gotten around to letting him know that Hyungwon really was his dad. I got up, leaving Hyungwon to talk to Minhyuk.

"What's wrong, baby?" I asked, shutting the door behind me. "Bad dream?" Benji nodded, reaching up for me to pick him up. "Do you want me to sleep in your room tonight?" He nodded again.

Then he sighed a bit. "Miss Mama," he said. Of course, it was very convenient for him to express missing her the moment we find out he'll always miss her.

I nodded a bit. "I know, bubba. Tell you what, I'll get you a glass of warm milk and then we can listen to whatever nature sound you want. Then we'll get you to sleep." Evenings and nights ended up being my time. Along with me being a fantastic cook, it was easier on Hyungwon to wash dishes after I boiled an extra pot of water and left one sink of cold water while I gave Benji a bath.

"Whoosh!" Benji smiled, acting like he was being toss around.

I giggled a bit. "You want wind tonight?" I asked. He nodded, eagerly. "Go find a cuddle bear and wait for me, okay?" And off he went to scrounge through his stuffed animals.

Before heading downstairs, I turned back to our room, opening the door. "I don't know how I'm gonna tell him, Minhyuk. I don't know what to do."

Minhyuk sighed. "I can come over and we can talk it out. Bora isn't here tonight. Do you want me to come over?" Hyungwon agreed before hanging up.

I took my phone back. "He said he had a bad dream and that he misses Mama," I sighed. "I'm gonna sleep in there with him tonight."

Hyungwon whined a bit, sniffling. "No, wait. Let's both sleep in there. I'll be by the door so I can easily get out to see Minhyuk but he'll be right between us. For the past month, it feels like I've been failing a lot at keeping my emotions down while he needs someone. It feels like I feel all my feelings and forget to help him process them. So let's all sleep in there." I had no qualms about that.

"Go tell him and set my phone to play wind sounds," I said. "I'll go make warm milk for everyone. Cinnamon in ours?" Hyungwon nodded, smiling softly.

I chuckled as I went downstairs. He's been paranoid about being a decent parent, but he's done so well. Benji had so much fun the first day he was with us that he didn't want to go to bed, afraid he'd miss out on more fun. He had even more fun the next day, so he fell asleep easier, knowing he was going to have fun every day. Any breakdowns Hyungwon had, he did them in private. We were lucky to avoid his seizures in front of Benji. But we did tell him that sometimes, something scary might happen, but it would've been okay. It just meant Daddy needed to take a break.

I brought the milk back upstairs, handing the mugs to my two boys. "Thank you, Kihyun." Hyungwon smiled. "Can you say 'thanks, Ki?' Benji?"

Benji nodded, taking a sip of his milk. "Thanki," he smiled, proud of himself.

I was proud of him too. "You're welcome, baby. Now, let's all fall asleep to the sound of the wind."

It didn't take long for Benji to fall asleep, curled up between us. "Thanki," Hyungwon smiled, kissing my forehead.

"For what?" I giggled.

He shrugged. "Being here for me. Helping me with things. I know this isn't easy for you."

I shrugged, rubbing Benji's back. "I love you, I love him. This is my little family. Of course I'm here. And we'll tell him together. And we'll heal and move on. It's gonna be okay. You're doing a great job, love."

Hyungwon smiled softly, placing his hand on top of mine. "I needed that." He admitted, snuggling down to sleep. I was so proud of him. He's been doing so well. And he'll keep it up, even in a time of sadness."