Man - y.kh

forty.

Hyungwon wasn't going to let that slide and I knew it. Why was Kyunnie so goddamn confrontational suddenly? Hyungwon made his way in the house, ready to fight. "I'm sorry, your boyfriend? How long has that been going on? We're on a break."

Changkyun chuckled, "It's always been me, little boy. And it's less of a break as much as it is a breakup. You wrecked into their car, they almost died. Who the fuck would want to date you after that?" He asked.

I cut a glare at Changkyun so quickly. Hyungwon was in a fragile place for once, where he was starting to allow himself to be vulnerable. He didn't need to be crushed like this. "You left him for years. You didn't even try to reconnect." Hyungwon yelled back.

"I left to get better!" Changkyun snapped. "That's more than you could say." I rolled my eyes, grabbing my bag.

They both stopped instantaneously. "I don't need this. I don't need two boys fighting over me. Changkyun, you're my best friend, of course it's always gonna be you. Hyungwon, you need help and we can't be in the same place right now. Either you go or I go."

Hyungwon scoffed, turning toward the door. "Next time, fix the skeletons in your closet before you try to let mine out, Changkyun. You didn't get better." With that, he walked out of the house. I don't even know how he got here, he can't drive.

I turned to look at Changkyun. "What's that about?" I asked. "Because, as your best friend, I also take pride in the fact that you've gotten better." I wanted to know what that was supposed to mean.

"Nothing, he's just talking shit." Changkyun had a certain manner about him when he began to lie to me. He'd start getting busy with other things to change the topic. "You still up to what you wanted earlier?" He asked, pulling me closer to him.

I scoffed, pushing him away slightly. "I'll feel like it when you tell me he meant. Don't lie to me. I done with that shit. I'm done with fucking being lied to. If you're gonna lie to me, then take me home, Changkyun." I was over the games. I needed honesty from here on out, from everyone.

Changkyun sighed. "He knows a bit about my past. And he's given me advice a lot. Before I found you again." He offered me to sit on the couch. I bit my lip, going to sit down. "Before I found you, Hyunwoo walked into the station one day, asked for $20 on seven. And we started talking. I told him I wanted to link up with him. I needed some questions answered. So he invited me over that evening." I could see the anxiety creeping in. His eyes were losing focus. "We fucked again. And I felt like shit. When it was said and done, he fell on me and I couldn't breathe. I started panicking right there, under him."

I had to stop him for a second. "Changkyun, has he ever hurt you? Like has he fully taken advantage of you? I'll kill him." He shook his head, holding my hand.

"I started panicking because I couldn't believe I found myself under him again. I couldn't believe that I let him ever do me again." Changkyun sighed softly. "And again. And again." My eyes widened slightly. "We were literally just having sex until I overdosed again. I was upset that I talked to you like that, and I know how you are. You wouldn't have wanted to hear an apology until later. I needed something, Shownu basically cut me off, because he's fucking closeted as if anyone still gives a fuck. And speedballing was just easier. That's what Hyungwon means."

I sighed softly, leaning in to kiss Changkyun again. "That's kinda better than I thought. But, you're still clean right?" I asked. Changkyun nodded, smiling widely.

"I've got you, that's all I need, okay?" He smiled softly. "And, please. Let me know how you feel. I'm always gonna want to know and care. And I'm sorry I brought Hyungwon here and put him on blast like that." I giggled softly, kissing him again. This was perfect for me. This was what I wanted.

I didn't want the parental dynamic, even though I still see Jooheon on a new schedule that works with him. I just wanted time to focus on myself and what I wanted. Being with Changkyun was old habit. It wasn't a new guy I was getting used to. It wasn't a new person to teach about me. He just knew. I needed someone to just know.

The next morning, we were woken up by Changkyun's car alarm and the sound of shattering windows. "What the fuck?" Changkyun groaned, throwing on some shorts and his sneakers. I sighed, grabbing my jeans, slipping them on quickly. My shoes were by the front door.

As we rushed downstairs, Wonho made his presence known, screaming and beating the door. "You fucker!" Wonho screamed, telling him to open the door. Changkyun really wasn't one to be fucked with anymore. I don't think Wonho recognized that, but he also probably didn't give a fuck.

When Changkyun opened the door, Wonho rushed in before realizing I was almost right behind Changkyun. "Dude, what the fuck did you do to my fucking car?!" He screamed. I rushed out of the house, looking at the wreckage. Wonho took out all his windows. "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

I turned to look at Wonho and he was a mess. His face was red and wet. "Wait, Kyunnie. I know you're mad but wait." I walked up to Wonho and held his face in my hands, wiping his cheeks. "What happened to him?" I asked. "Something happened to Hyungwon?" I made sure I was keeping contact with Wonho, calming him down. He nodded, chest shuddering from tears. "Is he alive?" I asked.

He sniffled, grabbing my arms, trying to keep balance. "You're supposed to be helping him, Kihyun. Changkyun set him off last night." He just cried. "Why aren't you helping him?"

I shook my head, shushing Wonho. "I did my part. I dropped the charges. We start group therapy next week. You, me, Hyungwon, Jooheon. We all get to sit down together and talk through how we feel, okay? That's what I could've done to help him. My choices other than that do not concern him and he's not being thought of when I think of what I need for myself." Wonho just broke down further.

"He's my best friend, he's struggling with everything so much. When Changkyun basically said he wasn't getting better, he thought about it and he isn't." I sighed softly, sitting down with him on the porch. "He's fine, he stepped into traffic and someone clipped him. He wasn't hit at full speed." I nodded softly, rubbing his back.

I wanted to care, but it was hard to care. I've seen it too many times and I have no energy to give him anymore help. "Babe," I looked up at Changkyun. "I'll pay for the damages and a rental. It's fine." This was definitely... a way to start my day.