Man - y.kh

fifty-six

Being in Dr. Min's office, all together for once was nerve wracking. To know that everyone's baggage was coming out today? It was terrifying for all of us. I know Wonho probably felt attacked, he didn't have me sitting next to him. It was like Hyungwon, Jooheon, Minhyuk, and I were all against him. He didn't even have Jae next to him. Jae was by the door. Part of me wanted to move closer to him, but I know Hyungwon would've grabbed me and pulled me back.

"Good morning, everyone!" Dr. Min started. "You all know who I am, I don't have to introduce myself. I'm gonna pose a question to everyone here though. Feel free to answer whenever." All eyes and ears were on her. "If you could ask a single person one question, and they had to answer truthfully, who and what would you ask?"

It was silent for a while. Because it was obvious that we all had questions to ask someone else in the room. "I'll go," I said, sitting up. "Jooheon. Kid, you have to tell us. What exactly happened to you?" He skimmed into most of the conversation and never went back to explain. We had no idea how to help him with no information.

"I have a question, but it's not gonna follow your question, Dr. Min." She nodded, of course allowing Jooheon to speak. "What I went through... what was it? I don't talk about it because I don't know what exactly it was that happened to me. And that's highly frustrating."

Hyungwon piped up. "Well. Don't worry about the label right now. Just tell us what was done." Jooheon thought for a bit. "We'll find a label later, I know you need to know what to call it. But just say what happened?" It was quiet again while Jooheon got up the courage to speak.

"I had sex. I know that much. I said yes to having sex with her," he started. "But it's after that one time that confuses me. It was like I said yes once and that was all that was ever needed? No more asking. Just doing. She just... did. And her brother did, just behind her back. But nothing like what any of you have gone through. I don't know." He started hitting at his leg softly.

We all thought for a second, letting it sink in. "So," Minhyuk started. "She took advantage of you, that's true. You say yes once, but you can say no at any time. And anytime you have sex again, you still get to say yes or no. Her brother, he messed with you? He's a little worse. And what about the weed? Did she convince you to do any drugs?" He shrugged it off quickly. "No, you have to be honest, remember?" Jooheon paused before nodding. "Okay, so that's peer pressure. And we're here to help you, okay?" Jooheon nodded, laying his head on Jooheon's shoulder.

"This is good, keep it up." Dr. Min wrote as we looked around to think about asking more questions.

Minhyuk looked toward Hyungwon, catching his gaze. "How suicidal did I make you feel?"

No more hiding from the darker stuff. "Every waking moment, I wanted to just sleep. It's gotten far better because you pale in comparison." I noticed Wonho's head fall slightly in my peripheral. "But all the time, I thought about ending it. So you'd stop." Minhyuk nodded, thinking over his answer as Hyungwon turned to Wonho. "Oh, we waited for this one, huh?" He shifted in his chair to turn his whole body to him. "Why me? I know I'm supposed to ask only one question but I'm already breaking that rule because you left me with too many unanswered questions. Why was I the one you latched on to? Why did I have to be the one you did all of this to? The threats, the manipulation, the fucking crying. I would've shot myself in the fucking head again, three days after we got to that damn motel if it meant I wouldn't have to hear your fucking crying." I grabbed his hand to relax him. If he got himself too worked up, he would've had a seizure.

Wonho sighed, wiping his tears. "I didn't lie to you," he said. "I loved you. I really... I love you. You've saved me, you've been my rock.
My best friend. Even when I was sneaking behind Jaesung's back, you still wanted to make sure I was okay. You saw what no one else was able to see and I trusted in you for that. I could run to you when I was scared. And I would burn this town down for you if someone hurt you."