Man - y.kh

thirty-two.

"Are you positive?" Hyungwon asked. "If you are, I'll drive you there right now. Jooheon can sleep in the back seat. Are you sure that's your father?" He asked again.

I looked at the note, reading it out loud. "You're smart, child. You know exactly what you did, and you got your results. I'll leave this here, knowing you'll come visit your mother at one point or another. Please call me or text me. And get my address that way. I've been wanting to see you for 17 years, so please... come home." Tears would not stop falling. "If this is some sick joke? I'll be broken. I know I will. I can already feel the pain in my chest, thinking of if this isn't my father. Hyungwon, I don't know what to do. I don't. I want him, if we're honest here, I need him. I'm 17 still, I'm acting grown, I'm making choices that aren't right for me."

He knew exactly what that meant and he scoffed. "So, having my baby isn't a good choice? Makes two of my significant others at this point now, I shouldn't be surprised." I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him.

"Not the point, at all." I ran my hand through my hair, reading the note over and over. "Fuck it, I'm calling." I grabbed my phone, dialing the number and putting it on speaker.

A few rings later, I heard his voice. "Hello?" He asked. I let out a sob, covering my mouth.

"What?" Hyungwon asked, coming to my side.

I held my phone out for him. "I've heard that voice... I know that voice. My mother... she had videos of her pregnancy. They were all of her, but he definitely spoke in the background. Uhm... ask him if he knew Yoo Kyuri."

He chuckled a bit. "You forgot about speakerphone, dear. Yes, I knew her quite well. Are you her child?" I was getting chills.

"Uhm, yeah..." I smiled a bit, wiping my tears. "Listen, before either of us get too happy? I was born Yoo Sora, a girl. But I'm not your daughter... I came out a while ago, I'm transgender. I'm your son, instead." I was slowly getting nervous. "You know, I could have saved this until we actually met? Am I just stupid? I'm sorry... I understand if you change your mind." Hyungwon took my hand, kissing it softly.

He fell silent for a bit and I sighed, looking down. If this man was my father, I just got him and lost him in one motion. "I would imagine I'd want to meet my son, regardless? What's your name?"

I looked up at Hyungwon, completely shaken. He still wanted me? "His name's Kihyun, sir. I'm Hyungwon, his boyfriend." I couldn't even speak. He really wanted me?

"Hello, Hyungwon... listen, I have to get my phone on the charger, but I'll text you my address and let me know if you want to come by. Or, we can meet in that coffeehouse downtown? Whatever you'd like."

Hyungwon saw me kinda hesitate on an answer. "The coffeehouse would be lovely. How about tomorrow afternoon?" He asked.

He went quiet again for a little bit. "That sounds great guys! I'll be there at 12:30, and I look forward to seeing you!" I hung up right after.

"What's wrong? You found your father! Kihyun, you can have a parent in your life!" I looked up, feeling sick to my stomach.

I grabbed at my jeans. "He w-wants me." Something didn't feel right. "I'm scared. Last time a man was so eager to meet me, to be a parent figure in my life? We got Abraham. I don't... I can't do that again."

Hyungwon kneeled in front of me, holding my head softly. "This is your father. Your family... your family wouldn't do anything to you." He sighed.

I glared at him. "My mom treated me like shit, and Minhyuk would use you for his own selfish needs. Don't tell me family wouldn't do anything to me. And it's not family I'm even worried about. It's fucking men, it's men I'm worried about." I sighed softly, covering my eyes.

"Why don't you want a kid with me?" Hyungwon finally asked. "We gotta talk about this now."

I rolled my eyes, getting angry. "For fuck's sake, Hyungwon. You fucking scare me! Yeah, you've saved me but how do I know you won't hurt me too? Me and our child? There's got to be a reason your baby mama took your kid from you." He looked like he wanted to beat my ass.

I immediately shrunk back, covering my face. "I'm not gonna hurt you. But don't fucking talk to me like that, Kihyun. I don't throw the fact that you experience dysphoria back in your face? Your suicide attempt? Your fucked up background? I don't do that shit to you, do I?" He asked. I shook my head. "Look at me!" Hyungwon yelled. When I glanced up, there were tears in his eyes. "Stop throwing Minhyuk and Akira and my fucking son in my face. Your father and I aren't far off from being in the same situation. And if my son could meet me? I'd beg him to. And I wouldn't dare hurt him or do anything but care of him. You have a chance to do that. You don't owe anyone anything, but you owe it to yourself to give yourself parts of your life back. And no, Akira has no damn reason to keep him away from me. I've never put my hands on her or anyone I've ever loved. And no, you don't have to have my kid. I just wish you could talk to me. Because you keep pushing me off for your crackhead best friend. I fucking love you, Kihyun! And you're scared of me? Tell me. I don't want to lose you."

Somehow, none of that made me feel better. "Hyungwon... you're 18 years old. I'm almost 18. I'm raising a 13 year old, taking care of you, myself... We're supposed to be taking midterms today! My mama died. We can't talk about the real shit because we slit our wrists and shoot ourselves in the fucking head! What part of that says we can raise a child?" I asked.

Our arguing was interrupted by barking. "Shit, Jooheon! Did he eat today?" Hyungwon asked, grabbing a small snack and juice. I rushed upstairs, opening Jooheon's door. I grabbed his monitor and sat in bed with him, turning him on his side.

"Shh, I got you." I sighed. "Hyungwon, he's so low!" His seizing wasn't stopping any time soon. "Babe," I sighed, as he came upstairs. "He's been down for a while, I'm calling 911."

Hyungwon was slowly losing his mind. He switched spots with me. "Jooheon, wake up buddy. Come on," he mumbled. "When they come, they'll take you from me, give you back to Minhyuk. Please, buddy." He whimpered, tears starting to stream.

I got an operator to answer and sighed softly. "My boyfriend's little brother is having a hypoglycemic seizure. He's been down for a couple minutes. He's calming down now, but I figured he's still gonna be needing some professional help." I hated that this happened to Jooheon, but at the same time, I hoped that Hyungwon's eyes opened up a bit more.