Man - y.kh

four.

"I can get rid of her," Hyungwon mumbled, holding onto me. "You don't have to go anywhere."

I shook my head, tapping on his arms. "You gotta let me go. She'll call the cops." Hyungwon sighed, letting me get up. We walked to the front door, ready for confrontation. When Hyungwon pushed me away to hide me behind the door, a spiraled back into my memories once again.

Suddenly, I was hiding in my mom's closet. "If you come out of there, if you cry, if you say anything, I'll kill you. Keep your fucking mouth shut." I was 13, all I wanted was to go hang out with my friends.

My mother came is, exasperated. "I swear to God, I leave this house without my wallet every day." Why the fuck couldn't she find her wallet while her boyfriend was fucking with me? She always texted him to tell him she left something. Why couldn't she catch him.
I began crying softly, not quiet enough. "Where's Sora? She should be home from school by now."

I heard her walk to the closet. I prayed for her to open it and find me. Find me, Mama... Please. Suddenly, her heels clicked away from the closet. No, goddamn it. Mama, please open the closet. "She's not here yet. I don't know where she could be. Maybe she went to the mall." No, shut the fuck up, you bastard. God, please no.

"I'm gonna have to talk to her. I know she never had her father around, but damn it, I raised her right." I began crying even harder. I just wanted it to end. I wanted everything to end.

After a few moments later, the closet door opened and I was ripped from it. "I told you to keep fucking quiet." He slammed me into the wall before throwing me onto the bed. "That's alright, I'll just have to teach you, baby girl." I just cried and cried until it was over for the day.

I came back to Hyungwon's living room, my mother yelling at me while Hyungwon stood between us. "Get your happy little ass in that car, now." She said. When I didn't move, she walked past Hyungwon and roughly grabbed my arm.

I cried out in pain which made Hyungwon grab me back. "I think the fuck not."

Mama exhaled in a frustrated way. "I can't handle two queers, I can't even handle that one. Sora, get in the fucking car!" I shook my head, holding onto Hyungwon.

"Queer?" Hyungwon asked. "The fuck gives you the right to call me a queer?"

My mom chuckled. "What, that one didn't tell you?" I shook my head, hoping she'd read my lips. She keeps me a secret from everyone else, she could keep me a secret from him. "Oh, you wanna hide now? You expect everyone to cater to your needs, but haven't told him?" I gripped onto Hyungwon a bit more. I wasn't ready to tell him. I wanted him to stay around for a while. I'd only known him a day. But I didn't have any other friends. He was all I had. But Mama decided to say it. "She wants a dick." I let go of Hyungwon and started to cry, hiding my face. I didn't want to hear what he had to say after that. I had no one, once again.

Hyungwon looked between me and my mother. "You mean," Hyungwon started. "You mean he wants a dick. He needs a dick." I looked up with bloodshot eyes for a moment. "You mean you have a son you want to disown because he's not the daughter you gave birth to." My mom and I were speechless. "Get the fuck out of my house, you piss poor excuse of a mother. He's staying with me. I'll call the police on you if you think you're just gonna sit in my driveway too. Leave. Now." Hyungwon pushed my mother out of the door before shutting it and locking it.

I sniffled, wiping my tears. "I'll be gone by tomorrow."

Hyungwon furrowed his eyebrows. "For what?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders, starting to cry again. "Come here," Hyungwon opened his arms for me. I hugged him tightly, bawling my eyes out. "You didn't have to lie to me. My foster sister is still trying to save up for her bottom surgery. I love her to death. You're no less of a person for being born in the wrong body." It was in this moment that I fucking did the stupidest thing ever. I fell in love with the bitch. I didn't want to. I really didnt. No one ever stayed around. And why did I expect him to be any different? Yeah, he has a sister who's going through the same thing, that's his sister. He has to stay by her side. There's nothing keeping him by my side.

I pulled away for him for a moment. "I hate it. So much. I didn't want you to know yet. There's so much shit behind who I am... It's fucking insane." I wiped my tears, looking down at myself.

"Then talk to me," Hyungwon smiled. "I'll tell you things about me too, S-" Hyungwon's eyes widened a bit when he realized. "You never told me your name. You can start there, and we'll stay up getting to know each other. We're going to be roommates here."

I smiled softly knowing that my fear wasn't coming true. He was still willing to protect me. "My name's Kihyun," I chuckled.

Hyungwon led me back to his room. "Nice to meet you, Kihyun. I love that name." He grabbed his wallet, pulling out at least $300. "Get your things," he said.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why?" I asked, grabbing my bag.

Hyungwon quickly threw on some jeans over his pajamas and a shirt and his jacket. "I can't let you stay here. I have enough money for a hotel. This place is a fucking dump."

I nodded, deciding not to fight him. He was right, this was a fucking dump. I followed him out of the house and got in the car. We listened to music and made small talk. We were very similar. My favorite food was fried chicken, his was fried shrimp. When I told him I hated seafood, he threatened to kick me out of his car. We hated science, we both loved dogs and had at least three in our lives.

All was nice and happy. Then some asshole ran a stop light in front of us.