Man - y.kh

forty-six.

"Right here," Wonho pointed. I pulled into this dirty little trap house and hesitated to turn the engine off. I wonder how long I had sat there, contemplating all of my decisions that had led me to this point. Because Wonho had to snap me out of it. "Are you coming or not?" He asked. I sighed softly, following him. After our old house, we swore not to ever live in a trap house ever again. Or at least, I did.

As soon as we walked in, the weed stench kicked me in the face. No one was here, but something told me this house hadn't been vacant in a while. It was just far too robust, not at all dissipated. Ace of Spades and Chiesel was prominent in the air. "How many times have you been here?" I asked.

Wonho looked around, going to the drawer in one of the end tables. "Since the accident, I've been here almost every day since we came home." He shrugged it off like it was nothing. It was something I caused. I helped do this to him. So, in the end, maybe I deserved this. "Basically, we're here to get high and fuck. We might go elsewhere to eat and sleep, but no where we can be found. A fucking Motel 6, I don't care. Everything's worthless at this point."

When Wonho put the first set of drugs down on the table, I felt bile crawl up my throat. "Wonho, what the fuck have you been doing here?" I asked, my voice cracking.

He chuckled, taking a lighter to his needle. As if that would actually sterilize it. "Getting fucking high, what part of this don't you fucking understand?" Water, powder, syringe... God, he became his mother. "Eh, fuck. I'm not gonna do this yet." He went searching around for his weed. "I'm not trying to have a fucking seizure." I wanted to leave and get out of here. The vibe of this entire situation was screaming danger at me. But I couldn't leave Wonho here. I know he comes here alone and looking around? He's definitely puked plenty of times.

"How bad are they?" I asked softly.

He shrugged, lighting up and taking a long drag. "Once a week? The way you hit us, it caused a lot of brain damage for me." Did he bring me here just to make me pay? "Now the fucker doesn't want to work right. Once a week, I blackout and wake up confused about why I'm on the floor, the room spinning. Because you hit my fucking car and threw me around." Another drag. "But get your panties out of your ass, this one's medical." Found that slightly hard to believe but I just went with it.

So, he's for sure been smoking weed and on the oxy they gave him in the hospital for pain and meth. This is where he came every day to take it. And I've been high with him before, but this was a different high. This was the type of high where you know you're avoiding something. "How'd you get like this, man?" I asked, taking the meth off the table. "You were a fucking meth addicted baby, not by your choice obviously. Now you're putting yourself back in that place? Your health problems that came from being addicted to meth, you're gonna make them worse?"

Wonho just rolled his eyes. "Bro, you already made them worse. I have fucking seizures now. Thanks to you. Are you gonna smoke or not?" He asked, considering taking something stronger. He would need a designated driver, so I shook my head.

As he rolled his eyes at me, I caught a glance of something moving out the corner of my eyes. "Bitch what the fuck?" I screamed out, turning around.

"Yeah there's a rat here." He shrugged, finishing his joint. "I'm gonna get some oxy and then we can go. He can get rowdy."

The fact that he was just... seemingly okay with this was highly disturbing. I want to know what broke him more. Telling Kihyun about his life, developing epilepsy from the car wreck, hiding his feelings for me, seeing his mother, finding out his father was a rapist or actually seeing his father. This all came up for him in about a month. But honestly, I was afraid to ask him any more questions. I headed outside, taking a deep breath. This anxiety was crippling. I haven't felt this in so long... since I lost Kihyun. I wanted to help him, for fuck's sake he was my best friend. But I had to prioritize. We had to get to a safe place before I could even begin to help him.