Man - y.kh

seventy-seven.

Hyungwon woke me up early in the morning with the light from his phone. He was typing away. "What are you doing?" I asked, groggily. He quickly glanced over at me, chuckling softly.

"I'm sorry babe," he sighed. "I got to talking with Mari, we have so many relatives. I have a twin, apparently. So, I decided to buy an Ancestry DNA kit. Mari's gonna tell her sister, and hope it gets around to all of his kids. So we'll see our family tree and then I can meet my family. If they're good people, Benji can have plenty of aunts and uncles and cousins." The way he was thinking about these things was absolutely adorable. "I don't want Benji to grow up lonely if he doesn't have to."

I nodded, kissing his cheek before trying to get up. As soon as I stood up, sharp pain took a trip to my hip. "Ow, fuck!" I yelled, quickly grabbing onto my nightstand.

Hyungwon sat up, moving toward me. "Are you okay?" He asked, hands on my hips to keep me standing up.

I nodded as I whispered, trying to make it through the pain. "Shit," I sighed, trying to hold back tears. "I feel like there's a fragment in my hip." I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want any more time spent on rehabilitating myself. I wanted to work, raise Benji, finally make something of my life. Move forward instead of spiraling backwards.

"Is that more surgery if it is?" Hyungwon asked, getting closer to the edge of the bed.

I shrugged sarcastically. "A bullet fragment in my hip. Where it could travel through important, vital arteries. No. No surgery at all." I know he didn't appreciate the sarcasm, but it was late, I was exhausted and in pain. All I wanted was to go pee. But I realized that I needed his help. "I'm sorry," I mumbled. "Can you please help me to the bathroom?"

Hyungwon got up, putting his arms out by my sides so I could grab onto him in case I fell. "I got you," he said, reaching to hold the door open.

"Daddy?" Benji called from his room. That's something that's been a bit new. He's starting calling for Hyungwon more than me. "Can Ki come sing me a song?" Or sometimes calling for Hyungwon to call for me.

I wanted to cry, I couldn't stand the pain. I shook my head, giving my answer. "I'll be there in a minute Bubba, Ki's not feeling too well."

When we got into the bathroom, I started crying. "I want to go to the hospital, Hyungwon. I wanna go." I was starting to have a panic attack on top of this pain. "I wanna go, please I wanna go. Call someone, I need to go." I started go hyperventilate. Something just felt wrong.

"Babe," Hyungwon sighed. "You have to relax. Nothing's wrong, okay? You're okay."

I wasn't okay. "Hyungwon," I whined. "I have to go!" I was on the verge of screaming, trying to keep from worrying Benji. "I'm dying. I'm fucking dying, please. Why would you just let me fucking die?" Hyungwon took my hand and I know I crushed it.

He shushed me as he pulled away to get our phones. "I'm not going to let you die. You're okay." As he dialed 911, I texted Wonho, telling him to get over here ASAP. He only lived about four minutes away, perfect for emergencies. Honestly surprises me that Changkyun never found me just by the proximity.

"I don't wanna die. I can't die." This impending sense of death was suffocating. I couldn't get my mind out of harm's way. The feeling made me want to kill myself just to stop it and if that's not a huge mindfuck, I don't know what is.

Hyungwon kneeled down in front of me. "Look at me!" He snapped. "You are not dying! You have to calm down." I couldn't tell if he was trying to snap me back to reality or if he was actually mad. All I know is the hyperventilation starting making my chest hurt. I went to claw at my chest, words starting to fail me. That's the last thing I remembered.

"Wait," Jae sighed. It's been a while since I heard his voice. "If you didn't bring him in tonight, he could've seriously been hurt?" He was pissed.

Hyungwon took a beat before answering. "Yes sir, that's right. There were two bullet fragments left that hadn't been found before. One was in his leg and one had traveled to his chest. They got them both out and there's no more fragments left. But again, another round of extensive surgery."

Fuck... I was right. I was right and Hyungwon didn't take it seriously. I was right to be panicked about it and he didn't take it seriously. I coughed softly, making my consciousness known. "Kihyun?" Jae asked.

I shook my head, not wanting their company surprisingly. "Where's Minhyuk? He's somewhere here, I know." I hadn't opened my eyes yet. "I really don't want any arguing, I don't want to hear Jae tell me that I'm moving too fast and I don't want to sit here pissed the fuck off that I wasn't taken seriously when I swore on my life that I was going to lose it. So where's my best friend?"

Footsteps receded from the room. "Ki," Hyungwon sighed. "I'm sorry." I didn't want to hear it, raising my hand up to signal him shutting the fuck up.

"Go find him," I said simply. "Before I raise my blood pressure, probably rip open my surgery wounds. Go find Minhyuk. Please. And go home to Benji, tell him I'm better and that I'll be home again soon. Go. Now." I heard Hyungwon's sigh as he left the room.

About five minutes later, I finally opened my eyes, watching Minhyuk walk in. "You wanted me?" He asked, looking exhausted.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly. "I'm just mad at Hyungwon and I don't want to talk to him while I'm mad. I don't want to hurt his feelings or anything."

Minhyuk nodded before quickly shaking his head. "Uhm... Bora's not doing well. She's on bed rest. She's actually here right now. She doesn't want to see me. Might be miscarrying completely?" My jaw dropped slowly, tapping the bed for him to sit down. "I'm scared, Kihyun. And I don't... I can't do anything? She won't let me see her, I can't stop this. And I know, I know if she lets me take care of her and she comes back to me, later on we can try for kids and really have the timing be better." He sat down, taking a deep breath. "I've been here, hoping she would let me see her." I took his hand, not knowing what to say.

Minhyuk is a man of few emotions and he doesn't show them well. He told me once before that I was his safe house. I taught him that he can show his emotions and feel things in the open, so he can so easily do it with me. But I felt pretty useless to him now. "I'm so sorry. I know you're not okay. Do you want to go wait for her?" He shook his head.

"I'd rather be of use here than sitting useless downstairs." Minhyuk wiped his tears. "Why are you mad at Hyungwon?"

I shrugged. "I was having a panic attack after my leg started hurting again. And I was convinced I was dying. So I got him to call 911, but he wasn't taking me seriously. Turns out I had fragments that could've killed me. I was right and he didn't take me seriously. I just needed a break for a second. I needed to calm down." Minhyuk nodded slowly, wondering why Hyungwon was hesitant. I didn't want to figure it out honestly. I just wanted to be here for Minhyuk, so I let him continue to talk out his fears.