First Time

4

EMILY

I'm turning away from the bin when I run into his chest again. My heart starts to pound in my chest to the beat of his. He holds me by my waist as I look up at him. His dark dangerous eyes pierce through me and send an invisible wave of electricity through my body.

"Emily," he says hoarsely.

I want to say his name but I can't. My throat is dry and my voice is lost. I swallow hard. He leans his face in closer to mine until his lips are mere inches away from mine. My body feels as if it's on fire. I watch him with heavy breaths as he puts his lips to mine.

Then, I wake up.

I sit up, panting. I'm hot and my pyjamas are sticking to my sweaty body. I rush to my window and open it to let the cool air in. Ah! Much better. I go downstairs and get a cold glass of water. Then sitting up in my bed, I start to feel cool as I sip the water and savour the cold breeze. That dream was definitely intense. I have never had a dream like that before. The first time I dreamt about a boy. The first time I dreamt that a boy wanted to kiss me. I wish I had carried on dreaming to feel him kiss me. But I wonder if my brain could conjure up a dream of something I had never experienced before. I find myself thinking about it deeply. I close my eyes and imagine his lips on mine. Soft, warm, wet. Oh no! What I am I saying? What am I thinking? These are sinful thoughts. I try to shake off thoughts of Aiden. What can I think about? My grandparents. Ok, that's good. I missed them so much. Aiden. No, ok, people in need. Hunger, poverty, disasters. Aiden. Ugh. Ok. Tim. Yes, Tim. His always eager grin. The way he brusquely pushed up his glasses when he was frustrated or the way they steamed up when he walked inside from outside. Aiden. His eyes. His lips. His rock hard chest. Ok, this isn't working. I pull out my bible from my bedside drawer and begin reading some passages. Ugh, who am I kidding? I can't think of anything or anyone else without Aiden hijacking my thoughts. Oh lord. What is happening to me?

"Emily! Oh no! Emily wake up!"

My mum's voice wakes me from my slumber. What's going on? What time is it?

"Emily, what happened to you? You slept right through this morning. It's almost 9 am! Wake up!" she exclaims before she leaves.

WHAT! Oh no!

I stagger out of bed, still groggy from a night of no sleep. How could I have overslept? The loud smack of a book dropping on the floor brings everything back to mind. I remember. I had been up all night last night, unable to sleep. Afraid to dream my sinful dreams about Aiden. I pick up my bible from the floor and rush around in a frenzy. I start putting on my uniform then realise I haven't brushed my teeth and washed my face yet. So I take them off again and rush to the bathroom. When I finally come out and start putting on my uniform, I realise that I have put my shirt on inside out and the knot has fallen out of my tie so I have to redo it. Ugh! Why do things go wrong when I'm late? This just costs me so much extra time. Mum comes rushing back upstairs with a bowl of cereal and some lunch money.

"I've called the school and told them you will be a bit late. Your dad had to leave so I will take you. But hurry Emily, we have to leave now. We've been calling you all morning. What happened?" she says full of concern.

She eyes my open window and glass of water.

"I couldn't sleep. I was too warm," I fib.

I was never dishonest with my parents. Even with the smallest of matters. But how could I tell mum that the thoughts of a boy had kept me up all night. A boy who I'm sure they would never approve of.

"Oh you poor love," mum coos, "Come on, have your cereal and I will brush your hair for you."

She quickly and skillfully ties my hair up in a neat bun while I scoff down my breakfast. In a flash, I'm ready to go. And mum takes no prisoners on the drive to school either. She beeps the slow pokes, weaves through stand still traffic and floors the gas pedal to get through the amber lights before they turn red.