Winter Bear || TaeJin [Completed]

37. If Life Is So Short

Third Person’s P.O.V.

“Could you maybe come home for awhile? There’s nothing in the fridge”
Jungkook played with the hem of his shirt as he sat with his legs splayed apart on the couch and spoke into the phone.

“..I’m hungry and no one’s around” he grumbled into the device, lips pursing up to form the tiniest pout before the phone beeped off “..and...I miss you”.

He spoke to himself as he stared at the screen, a picture of Jin and himself at a restaurant they had once gone for lunch. 

Since the moment he had woken up in the hospital bed he had wanted to talk to him, of course he missed Jin but there were also things he needed to clear with the other, stuff he felt needed an apology.

“Was it not enough that you made me a coward who hides his heart from you?” His thumb unmindfully caressed the other’s smile “now I owe you my life Jin”.

Half an hour and Jungkook heard the front door open and shut as Jin’s steps echoed through the wooden floorboards.

A smile carved itself on Jungkook’s lips the moment he saw the other put the stuff down and head closer to him. “You’re such a cry-baby Kook” Jin chuckled as he walked to him and plopped on the couch “what do you want to eat?”

And Jungkook felt a warmth surround him, just like the one he had felt the first time Jin had asked him the same question, it made him feel cared for, made him feel loved.

So what if he couldn’t have it all, at least he had this.

Yes, he couldn’t show the world how much he wanted the person in front of him, he couldn’t pull him close to himself and love him the way he wanted to.

He knew he’d forever feel the same anyway. It’s not about going away or moving on, he loved Jin and that was all. As nimble and as terrifying as that, he loved him and he knew Jin loved him too, just not in the same way he’d want him to.

It hurt like hell to accept this but at least this was his very own, not just the pain but this realisation that he had a heart to give. How many can even muster this strength? How many would dare to let themselves feel rather than being sad blocks of hopelessness?

At least no one can take this away, this pain and this sense of care was all his.

“I’ve missed you...y-your cooking, so anything” he gulped and scratched behind his ear “I’d love anything you cook for me”.

And that little smile on Jin’s face was what he had missed so much, that twinkle in his eyes too and the way his lips would get pouty every time he called him that cute nick name. 

“How have you been?” “Quite well I’d say, walking is still a bit difficult coz the worst one is the gut wound, my ribs are still hurt but getting better. So fifty-fifty I guess” he spoke checking the pain in his ribs and winced as he realized that he had pressed a little too hard.

He turned to Jin and simply stared a moment.

“Thank you” still debating in his head whether he should say it or not as he bit into his lip “for saving me.” Jin’s eyes flickered, instantly anxious and Jungkook knew he had to talk it out.

“It feels weird getting thanked for taking a life” Jin half grimaced, half shuddered and looked down.

The last few days had been so hectic that he barely found time even to confront to himself of what had actually happened that day and how he had shot someone dead, and not just someone but the very man who had been topping the criminal records for more than a decade.