Through The Dark

26 - Olivia

26 - Olivia

'I'm going out,' my mother announced from her room as she saw me walk by.

I stopped and turned to look at her. I tried to feel something, anything for her, about her, about her words. But nothing came along. I was just standing there, staring at the empty woman in front of me. Emptiness I had inherited, apparently. Maybe we were not as different as I liked to think. 'Good.'

'Yeah. Some cocktails, nothing more. No big deal.' She turned her attention back to her mirror and went back to applying mascara on her already perfect eyelashes.

She did not dress like this unless she had a date. I could remember that from when she went out with dad back in the day. That should have alarmed me, make me want to confront her for dating other people when dad was away. But at the moment, all I wanted was to go to my room, sink into my bed and forget about everything. What my mother did with her time was beyond me. I was tired of trying to keep up.

Lately, I had found out that I was tired of trying to keep up with everyone's life. That was all I did before. Listen here, take note there, and always focus on someone else. It was time that I began taking care of myself. And not only physically, my mother had taken good care of that part. I mean emotionally, psychologically. Who would, if not me?

'Good.'

She did not turn to acknowledge me anymore, not even glanced at me through the mirror or anything. I surprised myself when I realized it did not affect me anymore. Being irrelevant to her was what made me survive day through day in this house now. Until dad came back, this would be my survival technique.

'Behave. You could use the time to apply a facial and do your nails or something. You're looking a bit dull, honey. What are your friends going to think?'

I bit my bottom lip to stop the sudden urge that had taken over me of laughing. 'They love me just the way I am,' I said cheerily. I had to dig my nails into my palm to keep myself from bursting out into a fit of laughter, because if I did, I would never be able to go into my room, which was calling me louder and louder as time went by.

'Yeah, I highly doubt that,' she snorted as she glanced sideways. 'Would you close the door on your way out? I like my peace.' That was my cue that the conversation was over and I gladly took it.

'Of course.'

As I did what she so lovely asked of me, I wished her mascara turned out wrong, something that would truly be a tragedy for her.

I let a sigh escape my lips as I stood on the empty and dimly lit hall. I could not wait for my dad to be back, this would all be over then. That would be the day of glory for me. All the kicks and spits would be returned to her, and I would be on the winning side. He could leave her and then we could move away. Go somewhere else and start over, a clean slate. Go back to being happy. I would like that.

I smiled dreamily and made my way to my room -finally. As soon as I stepped inside, I spotted the picture of him I had beside my bed, on my nightstand. He looked so handsome there, all bright eyes and rosy cheeks, with wonders behind his eyes and dreams beneath his tan skin. The tall man I remembered lifting me up and putting me on his shoulders when I was a little kid.

'Olivia, I got another brunch for you this weekend,' my mother said through the door, startling me out of my wonderful memories. 'See if there is anything that works for you in there or we can go shopping tomorrow.'

I wanted to roll my eyes at her and refuse right away, just to annoy her. And I had every right to. She did not want to go shopping to spend quality time together. She did it just so she could approve of what I would wear. Because God forbid I went out with something she was not sure of, and let alone to a brunch, where all of her friends' daughters are. That I were a murderer would be easier to deal with then.