Through The Dark

3 - Emmalyn

3 - Emmalyn

I truly hated my father now. Thanks to him, I officially hated Sundays for the rest of my existence. The favorite day of my life had turned into the most awful. I have no idea if this was a pun intended by life, to punish me for something. All I knew was that it was low even for life and fate, which have a reputation of being total bitches. I suppose the quote 'life is a slut, she screws everyone up' is not so wrong after all.

I looked down to the front yard, well, the small portion of it I could see from my room. There walked out of the porch my father, with a suitcase dangling from his tired limb and his favorite leather jacket dangling from the other one. The jacket I had worn so many times before as I walked long walks with him at night, just the two of us. It used to be our thing. Not anymore, I suppose.

Now I could not help but wonder if he went to walk with me before he went to visit his lover. The mere sight of that jacket made me feel sick to my stomach. I wondered how many times it was draped around her shoulders, as she shoved her tongue down his throat.

At the thought of that, I sat down on the window pane, feeling dizzy. My brother was curled up in the bed with Madge, just pretending to pet her while she was the one giving him moral support.

I could see it, in how his shoulders were slouched, in the occasional involuntary sighs that escaped his otherwise pursed lips. It was written all over him and I wanted to hug him once again, but I had done so after our parents sent us up here and after a moment he had pushed me away, saying he just needed some space. He had not spoken since then.

"Emma? Ben?" a shaky voice called out, echoing throughout the painfully silent room that I had loved so much just a couple of hours ago. It was almost funny how much things had changed in here after just a few hours. Now I felt almost foreign inside this room. It was as if I was outside of my body and this was not my real home. Well, it was not a home anymore.

I turned around to see my mother. She was standing right in front of me, just a few steps away. She was by the door and I stood –well, now due to the flood of thoughts invading my mind, sat- by the window. I blinked the tears away and smile weakly at her, hoping to look just fine.

It did not require an expert to know just how hurt my mother was. I could see the hopelessness written on her eyes, and it felt like a dagger thrust into my chest. There were many things I expected and even understood from life. But if there was one I did not, it was my father cheating. It made no sense. I suppose, though, that one does not think when cheating.

I had only had a boyfriend, my current one and I had never felt the desire to cheat on him, and neither had he. We both loved each other. It would not be a surprise if Alex and I even made it after we graduated from high school. We could be one of those high schools sweethearts. But right now, with my family crumbling down, my possible high school sweetheart was the least I wanted to think about. My head started pounding heavily and my vision became blurry and the flashbacks of this morning struck me once again.

I gulped away my pain, because I knew that would only hurt my mother even more. My brother, even though he was younger, understood this as well. So he only glanced briefly at my mother before returning his attention to Madge. I found it extremely sad and heartbreaking that even a thirteen year old had to hide his emotions and knew about how to lie and pretend.

None of this was fair and I hated that it was my family who had to go through this. I was not in the mood to be false and proclaim how I did not wish this for any family and all that crap. I would rather have it happening to someone else than to me. It would be fair if it happened to Olivia, for example. She is a bitch. She deserves this, I do not.

"Are you guys okay?" my mom asked in a strained voice. I knew she had a sore throat because of all the yelling she had done, so I decided it was time to stop being selfish and that she needed my help and support.

"Yes, I'll go make you a tea," I muttered as I faintly smiled at her.

"I'll go with you," Ben hurried to say. I saw him put Madge aside and then drag himself towards me. I could read him clearly, and I knew he would push mom away if I did not do something. So I grabbed a hold of his arm and shoved him subtly towards our mom. I looked at him in the eyes and then at mom. She blinked a couple of times, to keep the tears at bay, and I got an arm around both of their shoulders. I pulled them towards me and embraced them in a hug.

"We'll be just fine," I assured them both.

"Yes, we will," my mom agreed with a shaky voice. "And I think you should go say goodbye to your father. You will regret not having done so," she told us sternly afterwards.

I nodded in agreement and walked out of the room, feeling an unbearable pain inside my chest. After they had finally sent us back to our room, which was after neither of us wanted to face our father anymore after we had found out about his affair, my mom told him she was over with him. It was him who made the decision of leaving the house, saying he respected my mother's choice. I knew there was no use in even suggesting just a separation. My parents were getting a divorce -there was no way to sugarcoat it.

I just wanted to call my best friend, Lena and cry it all out. But for now, I had to say goodbye to who I used to know as my father and then stay strong for my mother. It was not as if I was going to hate my father forever and I could not just ignore him.

I felt my brother's steps behind me as we walked out of the house. I looked up to see my mom on my window, watching us carefully. I had a good vision, so it was not difficult to see from where I was the tears staining her cheeks once again.

Then, I returned my gaze forward. There he was, fiddling with his jacket to try and hide his nervousness as my brother and I approached him. I took a sharp breath in and took the few steps that separated me from him. Without much as a word, I threw myself onto his arms, catching him off guard. He quickly composed himself, though, and hugged me tightly. I felt another warm body press itself tightly against my own and reach out for my father. I squinted from my father's chest to see a part of my brother.

In that moment, because I was so close to him, I saw clearly my brother. I saw the terrified look inside his eyes and how tense he was.

My father disengaged himself from us and cupped each of our faces with one of his hands. "Take good care of your mother," he whispered with a sad smile before letting go of us and getting into his car. Then, after we bid our final goodbyes with a wave of the hand, my father drove away. I bit my bottom lip until it stung so that I could convince my brain to focus on another pain instead than on the one of my hurt heart and broken soul.

"Let's go make that tea," I mumbled to Ben.

He nodded briefly and then we made our way back into the house. I caught on my breath as I felt his hand snake its way onto mine. I looked down at our clasped hands and then up to him. He avoided my gaze, but I knew he knew I was studying him.

"We'll be just fine, you know," I assured him in a low voice not wanting for our mother to hear us.

"Do you promise?" he asked in a quivering voice. I had never seen him so vulnerable, and it killed me.

"I promise," I responded with a genuine smile. I felt like breaking down and crying right then and there, but I forced myself to wait until later, when I went out with Lena and told her all about this. For now, I just needed to be there for Ben and for mom.