I Can't Go Back Now (Supernatural- Alexis Hammel)

Plan 'A'

After the hunters funeral we had for Kevin, we stood in the library, and I stared at the place where Kevin had been working, a half eaten sandwich and a full glass of milk sitting there. Dean picked up Kevin's phone and something in him snapped. Dean whipped the phone, causing it to shatter on the ground.

I clenched my jaw, jumping when Dean shoved everything off of the table, a chair flying, then a lamp. I tried not to cry, backing away to give Dean his space. I left to my room, closing and locking the door, allowing myself to slide slowly down the back of it. I ducked my head down into my knees, my body shaking as I sobbed.

A few hours later someone knocked at my door, and I didn't answer. "Lex?" Dean's soft voice called out. The contrast to how he'd been a few hours ago shocked me. "Come on, Cas is here."

I sniffed, wiping my eyes. My knees popped as I stood up from the floor, and I unlocked my door, opening it slowly. Dean pulled me into a hug, planting a kiss on the top of my head. "It's my fault," I whispered, struggling to keep my voice steady.

"No, baby-"

"Yes, Dean. I was the one who prayed. It was my idea."

"Yeah and I was the one who tricked him into it. We're in this together. You've said that more than once to me."

I forced a smile as I pulled away to look up at him. He kissed me, calming my nerves.

"I already told Cas what happened."

"Thank you," I said. "Come on, we have shit to do."

Dean and Cas led me to the bunker's dungeon, where we had Crowley, filling me in on the game plan. I stood near the back, letting the boys do the talking.

"Hello, boys, girl," Crowley said.

"Here's the deal," Dean started. "You're gonna tell us how to hack an angel, and Lexi is gonna give you some of the good stuff." I held up a syringe filled with blood. "Fresh human blood, right from the tap." I then showed my arm, which was wrapped in a bandage.

"Word is you're jonesing for it," I said, though it was dry humor. I was serious about trying to fix my mistake.

"Please. I'll pass."

"What do you want, then?" Cas asked.

"Well, for starters, a massage. Between the sitting and shackles a body gets a little stiff."

"Yeah, I ain't rubbing you," Dean scoffed.

"God, no. Get Kevin." I froze at the mention of his name, all emotion wiped from my face. "His tiny fists can really do wonder-"

"Kevin is dead," Cas said, voice flat.

"Oh. Sorry to hear that."

"Don't pretend to care," Cas snarled. "You tried to kill him."

"I told him this was going to happen," Crowley said, shrugging. "I was the only one who tried to warn him. I told him to run."

"From what?" Dean asked.

"You," Crowley said accusingly, leaning forward slightly. "How many times am I gonna have to say this? People in your general vicinity don't usually have a particularly long life-span. I'm surprised your little girlfriend- is that what you call her?- has even made it this far.

"Now, I can't teach you how to crack open an angel, but I can show you. All I ask for is a little fresh air. Chains on, naturally."

"No," Dean said immediately.

"No, of course not. Because if I'm your plan 'A', you definitely have a much better and easier plan 'B'."

Cas pulled Dean aside, back by me. "You can't actually be considering this."

"What other option do we have, Cas?" I asked, looking up at him. "With chains on, he can't do anything."

"You're being irresponsib-"

"No, Cas, don't do that. I... we need to fix this. This is still my mistake- I don't care what you say. And I need your help to fix it, alright?"

Cas looked down at me, and slowly nodded. "Okay."

"Where's Moose?" Crowley suddenly asked, and we all turned to him. "Unless he isn't here. That's why you need me huh? The poor baby giant's in trouble again." He saw the bruise on my cheekbone. "Ooh, and angry too."

"Are you done?" I asked.

"Depends. Do we have a deal?"

"Yeah," Dean said.

"Excellent. When do we leave?"

"As soon as I can scrounge up a ride."

"Well, I have a vehicle," Cas said. "It stopped a few miles away from here for some reason."

***

Me and Dean each carried a gas can for Cas' car. "Go try to start it, Lex," Dean whispered and I set the can down.

I opened the door and sat down, turning the ignition. "Yep, definitely outta gas," I sighed.

I helped Dean fill the tank as the angel and demon bickered back and forth. "Alright, let's go," Dean said, then tossed me the keys. "You drive, keep your mind off of things."

I smiled. "Okay."

The four of us got in the car, Cas and Crowley in the back. "Watch the leg," Crowley said.

"You're on my side," Cas defended.

"Hey, hey!" I shouted. "Not today! You sit there and shut up!"

I turned around, sighing, and started the car. 

***

"Hear anything?" Dean asked Cas as we waited for Crowley to get done with his meeting.

"No, the room Crowley is in is warded."

"Awesome," I scoffed. "That's friggin' awesome."

Finally Crowley came back down the stairs, holding pictures. He handed them to Dean, who shuffled through them. It was pictures of the Impala that had run red lights.

"Your phallus on wheel ran a red light in Somerset, Pennsylvania ten minutes ago," he said.

"Let's go," Dean said.

We drove for a while, searching for the signature Impala that I'd managed to fall in love with. Finally we found it, parked in a driveway. As Dean checked to make sure she was okay, I didn't waste any time. I walked through the front door, Cas trailing a distance behind. When I walked in Sam was standing there. But I knew he wasn't Sam.

"You shouldn't have come here, Lexi," the angel said.

"You killed my friend, you take my boyfriend's brother, and you think I'll let that stand?"

"I allowed you two to live."

"Mistake."

I lunged forward, tussling with the angel until he flung me aside with ease, my head hitting dangerously hard on a shelf of a bookcase as it went tumbling to the ground with me. The amount of books that fell on my head knocked me out cold.

I felt someone pick me up, the familiar scent of Dean causing me to relax as I let my head rest between his shoulder and neck.

"We got him, baby," Dean whispered. "We got him."