I Can't Go Back Now (Supernatural- Alexis Hammel)

Side Effects

I sat on the end of my bed, staring at the Colonel. Sam had just gotten off the phone, and Dean was teasing me with the stupid burger wrapper. I didn't even want it anymore.

"You wanna play fetch, huh?" Dean said, tossing the wrapper across the room. I didn't move from my spot.

"Apparently the spell has some side effects."

"That woulda been nice to know before I downed the thing," I said.

"When you mind meld with an animal... it's possible you start to pick up their behaviors."

"Don't look at me, Hon," the Colonel said. "It's not my fault."

"Well, how long am I gonna have the urge to.." I trailed off.

"Sniff butts?"

I gave a disgusted look. "Woah, hey, I don't have the urge to sniff butts."

"Yet." I blinked, looking away from the Colonel.

"Lex," Dean said, sounding slightly worried. "D-do you have the urge to... sniff butts?"

"No! Come on!" As Dean and Sam talked I reached into the duffel bag and pulled out a bar of chocolate which Dean had picked up earlier.

"I wouldn't eat that if I were you," the Colonel said, and I looked at him, a piece hanging from my mouth. "Chocolate? Really?"

I let it fall from my mouth, as well as the bar from my hand, looking up at Sam and Dean.

***

We walked through the parking lot to the car, the Colonel on a leash that Dean held. "Where are we going?" He asked.

"Back to the kennel," I answered.

"What, to sniff out some clues? Dig up something we missed?"

"Okay, one more doggy pun outta you and I'm gonna have your nuts clipped."

"Hate to break it to you, hon. My sack is emptier than Santa's after Christmas."

We made it to the car, where a bird crapped on it. "Aw, come on," Dean sighed, looking up at a pigeon that was sitting on a lamp post. "Dick move, pigeon."

"Screw you, asshat," the pigeon responded, and I touched Dean's arm.

"Did-" I cut myself off.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Wait a minute," I said, looking at the Colonel. "Can I hear all animals?"

"Yep. All animals have a universal language. Apparently this pigeon caught on."

"Oh, yeah," the pigeon said. "And I'm just gettin' started. Brewing up a real big one. Bet your boy's ride will look great in white."

"What's he saying?" Sam asked.

I hesitated. "Thinks the car'll look great in white."

"You-" Dean started. "Douchebag."

"Who you calling a douchebag, douchebag?"

"He called you the douchebag," I translated.

"Shut it you winged rat!" Dean yelled up at the bird, and I looked back at the older couple walking past. I waved awkwardly.

"Hey, just calm down," I said. "Get in the car."

"That's right, cry to mommy," the pigeon said.

"No, what did he say?" Dean said. I sighed.

"'Go cry to mommy.'"

"Oh, that's it!" Dean shouted, pulling out his gun. I pulled down his arm, panicked, hastily taking the gun out of his hand.

"Are you insane?!" I whispered, shoving him in the driver's seat, taking the leash from him.

***

Me and the Colonel sat in the back seats, our heads out the window as Dean pulled up to the kennel. I pulled my head in when we stopped. When we got out I walked around the back of the car to the Colonel's side.

"I think it's best we leave the Colonel in the car," Sam said, and I gave him a disgusted look.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, all the windows are open."

"You think we like that?"

Dean gave me a weird look. "'We'?"

"You think that because the windows are open that that's some sort of treat? No, the dog's coming."

"Respect," the Colonel said, and I smiled, patting the top of his head.

I opened the door, letting him jump out. As we walked to the door, there was a female poodle sitting, tied to a pole. The Colonel stopped, panting as he looked at her. "Colonel?"

"Huh?" he turned, looking up at me. "Oh, sorry."

We finally got into the shelter, and went to the dog cages, interrogating them. We talked to an older, small dog. "Honestly, I couldn't see much," she said. "Damn cataracts. And no one's gonna pay for my surgery. I don't belong here. I'm pedigreed."

I smiled awkwardly, nodding. "Well, I'm sure you'll be out of here soon."

"Please, girl, I'm fourteen."

"Good luck... ma'am." I closed the cage and we walked away. I sighed.

"Once a day they clean these cages!" I dog yelled at me from the cage next to the older ones. "Once a day!"

"Okay," I whispered, hurrying over to Sam and Dean. The dogs kept shouting nonsense at me.

"Any luck?" Dean asked.

"No. Just a bunch of complaints."

"Hey, cutie, over here," I heard one of the dogs say. I turned, seeing a small Yorkie standing at the door of her cage.

"Yeah, uh, sorry, I'm done for the day," I said.

"But I saw everything! And I'll tell you, but it'll cost ya."

"You kidding me?" I asked. "I'm being extorted by a dog. What do you want? Beggin' strips. Snausages?"

"Bitch, please," she said, her country accent making it funny. "If I'm gonna rat someone out I want it to be worth my while. I want... a belly rub."

I was taken aback. "You- okay." I went to open the door, but she stopped me.

"Not you, sweetie. The tall one."

I turned to Sam smiling evilly.

***

"So, apparently our killer has a sweet tooth for kitty cats," I said as we left the shelter. "And the sack he stole the cats in said 'Avant-Garde Cuisine'."

"That's a cafe on main street," the Colonel said. "No dogs allowed."

"That's why he smelled like burgers and soap," I said. "Gotta go downtown. Apparently our guy works at a restaurant." I stopped walking, then looked back at the shelter. "Come on."

I ran back into the shelter with the Colonel next to me, then went to the beck where the dogs were. I opened all of the cages, letting them go. They shouted happily, running as fast as they could out of the shelter. Sam and Dean smiled, then started to help me.