I Can't Go Back Now (Supernatural- Alexis Hammel)

Dishonor

I woke up in a dark and cold room, Dean laying next to me. I sat up and looked at him. "Dean? Hey, you gotta wake up."

I managed to shake him into consciousness. "Where are we?"

I shook my head. "I don't know."

"Hell," someone answered, and the both of us jerked around to look at a couple and a young girl.

"You're Honor, aren't you?" I asked.

She nodded, holding a lantern, and I looked at the couple.

"The couple that disappeared," I whispered to myself.

Dean stood up and climbed a ladder that led to a trapdoor. He hit it a couple times with the palm of his hand, and to no avail.

"We tried," the same guy said, voice flat. "There's no escape."

"Are we gonna run outta air?" I asked.

"I don't think so," he said. I think his name was Neil. "Somebody wants us to die nice and slow."

"And then it's gonna take us," Honor said. "Just like Pastor Fred."

"What took him?" Dean asked, coming down the ladder.

"We couldn't see. It was too bright."

"Dean, I don't think this is a dragon," I said.

"A dragon?" Honor asked, and we ignored her.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked. 

"Dragons go after virgins," I said, looking at him in the eye.

He sighed. "This thing is going after people who broke their pledge."

I nodded. "Shit." I rubbed my hands over my face, then grabbed my phone from my jeans pocket. "No signal."

I climbed up the ladder as far as I could go, waving it back and forth between the small crack of light we had.

"Come on, bars," I whispered. Finally I got something, and immediately called Sam. He answered.

"Lex?"

"Sam, hey. Listen to me-"

"Lex, I-"

"We're underground," I said, cutting him off. I could barely understand him.

"Say... I can't-"

"We're in some kind of-" the call cut out and I sighed loudly. "Son of a bitch!"

"Don't do what, Neil?" Dean asked, and I turned, seeing them conversing in the corner.

"Just mind your beeswax, pal," Neil answered.

Dean helped me down and we stood in front of him. "Listen," I said. "We're stuck in this together. You got something to say, say it."

Neil sighed. "Okay, that fireball is coming to take the weakest, and it's not gonna be me. The way I see it, her leg is busted anyway," he motioned to Honor, who sat on the floor. I crouched next to her, an arm around her shoulder. "We serve her up, it buys us some time."

"Screw you, Neil," Honor spat.

Dean shoved Neil against the wall and I immediately tensed. "Busted leg? Try sprained ankle! Nobody's serving anyone up!"

"We're in deep shit- all of us. Give the damn thing Honor, it might buy all of us time."

"Might," I said, still next to Honor. "That's not a risk I'm willing to take."

"Do you have a better plan?"

"I might," Dean said. "Maybe I'll just serve you to him. Don't like that idea, huh? Then shut up!"

I sat with Honor on the floor, who twisted her purity ring on her finger. "You broke, didn't you?" I asked.

She looked up at me. "Guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was."

There was banging at the grate, and me and Dean immediately jumped up.

"I told you!" Niel yelled.

"Shut up!" I shouted, climbing up the ladder. "Sam? Jody?"

"Lex!" Sam shouted. "We're here, we're gonna get you out."

I began banging on the grate, trying to lift it. "Sam!"

"Scoot over," Dean said, and we both helped push as Sam and Jody lifted.

Suddenly all noise stopped from above the grate, and I put a hand on Dean's arm. "Sam? You still there?"

Jody screamed, and a wave of force knocked me and Dean off the ladder, sending us to the floor below. I hit my head, losing all consciousness.

I woke up, coughing and trying to catch my breath. It felt like I'd been winded all over again. Dean was on the ladder working at unscrewing the rusty bolts. I slowly made my way over to the ladder, trying to get rid of this stupid dizzy spell. I climbed the ladder, tapping Dean's ankle with my hand to get him to move over.

"You okay?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, come on," I said, watching as he got the last bolt out. The door popped open and we scrambled to get our heads out. When we did, we looked around.

"What did we miss?" Dean asked.

***

"You heading out?" Sam asked as Jody picked up her bags.

"Yeah. I'd tell you three to stay outta trouble, but what's the point?"

We took our turns hugging Jody, saying our goodbyes. "Drive safe," I whispered.

"Take care of the boys," she shot back. "They can be a real handful."

I chuckled, as we pulled away. "Trust me, I know."

She left and I let my body fall back on the bed. Sam did as well, sighing. "What's up?" I asked.

"I mean... what if there really is something wrong with me?"

"You're just crapped out, man," Dean said, sitting by my head. "You need some rest."

"No, Dean, it's more than that. Vesta said I was practically dead inside."

"Oh and that bitch is in the circle of trust, now?" I asked.

"Why would she lie?" He asked, sitting up.

"It's probably the trials, okay?" I asked. "Some sorta aftereffect. It's not like you're bouncing back from the flu. You were... glowing with friggin' trial juice."

"I don't know," Sam sighed.

"What else could it be?" Dean asked, beginning to pace in front of the two beds.

"Why does it have to be something else? It's always something else. We're always scraping together some explanation when maybe it's just... just me."

"Oh, come on, Sam," Dean rolled his eyes.

"I'm a mess, guys," Sam sighed, throwing his arms in the air. "And sometimes I feel like I'll never be alright."

"You will," I said, my voice serious. "We will find a way around this."

"I don't want a way around it, Lex. I don't want to push it away and avoid it."

Sam grabbed his prepacked bags and left the room. I watched him walk to the car and get in the back. When he did that without argument it meant he wanted to be left alone.

I sighed. "I don't know how much longer I can keep this up, Dean."

"Hey," he said, gently grabbing my hands and pulling me up. "Just work with me a while longer. Okay?"

I nodded, leaning up to kiss Dean. "Okay."