So wrong, yet so right

Chapter 27 - Bad decisions

At first it felt amazing, having his lips on mine. Like a strange lust that I hadn't experienced with him before. Deep inside i knew it was the alcohol, but that didn't stop it from feeling good.

I pulled him closer, and before I knew it, a feeling of guilt was thrown over me. It was a different territory. I wasn't at all ready to move on this quickly. Last time with Jordan, I wasn't into Michael as deep as now. I know I wasn't wrong for doing this. I am single after all. But it still felt like I did something bad.

"I can't" I mumbled as I stopped him from kissing me again.

I bit my lip shyly, and a little confused as I look into his eyes. He looks a bit confused as well, probably wondering why I suddenly pulled away after first initiating that I wanted this.

"What happened?" He asks.

"It's just... I'm not ready yet"

"After what? We weren't doing anything other than kissing" He chuckles softly.

I sigh. "I know"

"You know I wouldn't ever want to take advantage over you. Especially not when we have been drinking"

I smile shyly. He was a good guy, and now I felt bad for . But I wasn't going to tell him that I had been together with someone either. I was just going to blame it on the alcohol.

"I guess, it's just the alcohol. I just don't feel like myself right now"

"It's totally fine" He says, kissing my forehead. I smile. "I'm probably going to go now" I say, jumping down from the counter.

"Hope it's not because of ...this" He says, looking a little worried.

"No, not at all. There's just something I need to fix. I'll see you at school" I say, and before he is able to say anything, I'm out of there. I text my friends saying that I'm leaving. I'm pretty sure I would have no luck trying to look for them again after not finding them for hours.

This was probably going to be the most stupid thing I could ever do. But the alcohol in my system made everything seem less stupid. Alcohol equal bad decisions, right?

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Should I knock? Should I just go away? I mean, I've already made it to his house so... Why go home just yet right? The way over here, everything seemed so easy. I would just go over here and tell him that .. that I'm really going to move on this time. Or maybe it was a bad idea telling him that.

I sigh. Every little thought was captured in my mind, and I couldn't find a way to think rationally. Or to relax at all. The alcohol had as well reduced after the walk, and standing outside for many minutes.

I collect myself before knocking on the door. I didn't want to ring the bell in case he actually was asleep. Which would spare me for future embarrassment. 

Seconds passed, and I didn't hear any noises. I turned around to walk away, when suddenly I head the door open. I turned around again, seeing the beautiful man I still was in love with. My heart skipped a beat, as he smiled at me.

"Hi" I carefully said, making my way closer again.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

I couldn't find myself saying what I had thought about the way over. That I was actually going to say that I was going to move on, when in my heart I knew that I didn't.

"I... I don't. I don't know. I'm sorry" I said, looking into his eyes.

"I..." He was about to speak, when a women's voice cuts in. "Who's at the door Mikey?"

For a second, everything arounds me stops. I forget how to breathe, feeling my body about to fall down. I gasp for air, trying to contain myself from not crying. I couldn't possibly think of any normal situation for him to have a visit from a women this late. I didn't even recognize the ladies voice, if it was some of his past flings. Nevertheless, I needed to go away.

"Didn't take you long to move on... I can't believe you" I say, turning around and walk away as fast as I could.

I can hear him call my name from afar, but nothing could make me go back, look him in the eyes and hear what he had to say.

A/N - I hope you liked this part <3

Love you all x