So wrong, yet so right

Chapter 2 - Taken

My bestfriends Rory and Hannah greets me at school. "Hey girl" they both say at the same time. "Hey you two" I smile big and hug them both.

"So, how was Friday?" Rory winks at me. I role my eyes. 

I sigh. "He has a girlfriend"

"Aw.. Bummer!" Hannah says with compassion.

"Tell me about it. Still, I can't seem to get him out of my head" 

"Of course not. I mean, he is handsome, I don't know him but I bet he is nice too" Rory replies this time.

"When have you ever cared if anyone was nice.. As long as he is good looking" I wink at her. 

"I am not like that anymore, I look for personality actually" she says proudly.

I chuckle. "Sure you do. But, yes since you wondered, he is very nice"

"You should be carefull though, he is like.. 40 or something?" Hannah says. She is always the concerned one. Looking out for everyone, which is a good thing. Even though I know what to do, and what not to do.

"37, actually. And age doesn't matter" I smile.

"But he did have a girlfriend you said.."

"It's not like I am going to destroy their relationship. Besides, Michael thinks of me only as a kid"

"Which you are!!" Rory starts laughing. I hit her, playfully on her arm. The schoolbell rings and we begin walking towards our class.

I come home to an empty house. Both mom and dad are working, but they will be home soon. I finish at 15. and at least dad finishes an hour later. I pack out my computer and an assignement I need to work on for school. I take a seat in the couch in the living room. For some reason, I cannot consentrate when I am in my own room. Too many distractions. 

Dad has not comed home yet, and it is soon 4.30. He is usually home by now. His work isn't far away from home. A little later, the doorbell rings. I thought dad had his keys with him. I guess not..

I open the door, and look straight at the person I thought was dad. "Hey Rebecca"

"Michael.. uh hey"

"Is your dad home?"
"No, but he should be ..." I say feeling utterly uncomfortable. I do not know what to do. Why could not my dad have been home now!

"Yeah I talked to him and he said he would be home by now"

"Well, you can wait for him. I don't think he will be long" I smile

"Thank you. You never know" he smiles as well and walks in. I close the door behind him. 

My heartbeat is raising. I need to keep it together before I faint or have a heartattack. I bite my bottom lip as I walk back to my work. "What are you working on?" he asks and take a seat besides me.

"An history assignement" I reply. My mouth feels dry. Being this close with him, alone in my house is so tempting, yet I am so shy. And I know I cannot to anything that will indicate me being interressted. He will just be scared, tell my dad and I will be embarrassed for the rest of my life. I will just keep quiet.

"History! That was my favorite subject" 

"Really? Mine too"

"I can help you if you want"

"Of course yeah"

"Not that you would need any help of course, I bet you are very good in school" he replies fast. As if he is nervous. 

"Well, yes, but I don't mind getting some help" I answer and look at him. He looks back at me. My heart is beeting harder, but slower than before. I lick my lips, but remember quickly what I wasn't going to do. 

"So, this is what I have written so far" I say, to get out of the situation. I show him my text on my computer. He bends over to read and I find myself just looking at his beautiful hair. He has it in a low ponytail today as well. God, it looks so good. I want to touch it so bad. I just want to push him back in the couch, sit on his lap and make out with him.

My toughts are interrupted as the outdoor is opened. It is closed again seconds after, followed by footsteps coming closer. 
"I got caught up at work" he says as he walks into the living-room.

"It is ok dad" I smile at him.

"Hey Mike. Sorry to you too"

"Nothing to be sorry about man. I was having a good time with Rebecca" he says, smiling at me, then at my dad. I feel myself blushing. I touch my face, trying to keep it from turning red.

"Awesome! Ready for the game now?" Dad asks.

Of course, that's why Michael is here. I should have known, I used to sit together with them watching every basketball game that went on TV. However, I outgrew that. Not that I don't like basketball, but now I have other reasons for why I want to hang out with them.. And I do not think that is such a good idea.

"You bet I am old man" he teases.

"You know you are my age"

"I know, I still look younger" he chuckles. My dad walks over to him and punches him playfully on his arm while they keep laughing. "Just wait, you may look young now, but in a few years I will look younger"

I smile at their little argument. "I will go up to my room to finish my assignment. Enjoy the game" I say, not even sure if they are paying attention. 

"Let me know if you need some help" Michael suddenly says, smiling at me.

I put all my stuff in my bag: "I will do. Thanks" I answer polite while I head upstairs.

"When did you become a teacher" I hear my dad tease. "Hah. I am actually a very good teacher.."
"Yeah yeah..... "

I close the door behind me, not being able to hear more about their conversation. My heart starts to slow down, and does not beat as hard as before. I breathe out and put my bag down. 

09.11.2015

In my head I feel so adult, so ready to just take the first move and seduce him like he never have been seduced before. While in real life, I feel the need to behave in a certain way in order for him to not think of me as a child anymore.

Of course, I am not sure if he thinks that... Or what he actually thinks at all. But what about that little moment we had? Did that mean something? I am just way over myself.. Of course It didn't mean anything. I know I always overthink things, even the smallest things. I think over and over again, play everything over in my head and nothing good ever comes out of it.

I wonder when this crush will go away, cause it's all I ever think of...