So wrong, yet so right

Chapter 19 - The breakup

I woke up, feeling the worst headache of my life. I can't even remember how much I had to drink. And I don't want to try to think about it. I open my eyes slightly as the lights from outside feels too much for my eyes just yet. The surroundings looks nothing like my room, but it is familiar.

"No..." I whisper to myself as I sit up, realizing where I'm at. I don't remember coming here. I must've made a complete fool out of myself.

I take my phone which is laying on the nightstand and check it. 5 missed calls from Jordan. None from my parents. I guess Michael already alerted them that I was here.

I get out of bed noticing I was sleeping in one of his t-shirts. I have no idea of how

"How are you feeling?" Michael asks

I sigh. "Not so good"

I take a seat at the kitchen table and he pours me a cup of coffee before putting it in front of me.

"Thank you". The damp indicates that its too hot for me to try it.

"So, what exactly happened last night?"

He looked at me with a smile that I knew I had done something embarrassing. As if it wasn't embarrassing enough that I actually came here when I was this drunk.

"You really wanna know?"

"Oh gosh... Was it that bad?" I say, burrying my face in my hands.

He chuckled. Thats sweet little laughter filled my ears with joy. As sweet as always.
"No. I am just messing with you"
«One question. How did i... undres myself ?»
«You didn't. I did»

I looked at him with big eyes. «No way...»
Then he laughed again. «You did it all by yourself»

I felt slightly relieved. Not that he hadn't seen me without clothes before.
"You did however, start undressing in front of me"

A feeling of embarrassment hit me.
«Thats so much worse Michael!"
He looked as he was enjoying himself by my behaviour.
"I didn't look, so don't worry"
«Why not?» I asked, trying to tease him a bit.

He just smirked at me causing me to smile. I took a sip of my coffee that was drinkable now and spent the morning with him getting something to eat before I headed home not too long after.

I texted Jordan the second I got home to ask him to meet me later. I couldn't do this anymore. As much as I wanted to move on, Michael was too much part of my life to be left away. I still wanted him, and there was no denial about that. He agreed to meet me. All I could picture was different scenarios of how to explain the fact that I didn't want to date him anymore. I shouldn't have kept it going for so long, but I was grateful to have met him.

I got undressed from yesterdays outfit, feeling disgusting. Still smelling the booze and smoke from my clothes. I shrugged before getting ready for the shower.

I spot Jordan in the park where I agreed to meet him. It's already dark outside, but the lights from the park makes it not look too scary. I smile a little as I approach him. I feel as if he wants to greet me with a kiss, but I keep a little bit of distance.

"So, where did you go last night?" He asks me right away.

"I was too drunk so I walked home by myself" I lie, already feeling bad for what I'm about to do.

"You should never walk home drunk... I was worried about you"

"I know, but I couldn't find you either. Don't worry, I was fine" I say, looking directly at him.

"So, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

I swallowed hard. Moment of truth. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can do this anymore"

"What do you mean? Why now?"

"I..."
"Is there another guy?"
"No....No. No other guy. I just need some time for myself. I'm sorry" I said. I wanted to cry, not because I was too sad about this... But because I felt embarrassed. It sounded so cliché

"I thought we had something good» he says And i notice sadness in his eyes.
I felt bad for doing this, for all the wrong reasons i did it.
"We did... But I just need some time apart»

"I'm sorry. It's not like I want to do this, but I need to. I just hope we wont unfriend each other"

"No" he sighs. "But I have to go, it's not exactly how I saw Sunday night turning out"

I wanted to say something more, but I felt nothing was worth saying. He was still going to be hurt. I stood there, in the middle of the park just watching him walk away from me. I felt a sting in my heart. Was this the right decision? It wouldn't be fair to him when I was still hung up on another man. It wasn't even fair to me. 

After I couldn't see much more of Jordan I took to my phone and held it for a little while, watching Michael's name on the display. I wanted badly to call him or text him. I didn't quite know what to say, I just wanted to talk to him. I began texting:

R: Can I come over? 

M: Of course

R: I'll be there in 5

A/N

Hope you enjoy this xo