Your Wattpad Agony Aunt! (On hold)

#17 - Friendless Failure

Hey genie_us,

The first thing I have to say is...there's a guy. I have known him for about two years and he asked me out a while ago. I said yes and everything was fine for a while. Then we started getting into heated arguments. Until he broke up with me over text. It wasn't like a bad break up. He said that he wanted us to break up so we wouldn't stop being friends.

A day later he started dating a new girl. I admit I got a bit jealous. And then he just stopped talking to me. It's really upsetting. I mean I still want to be friends with him. That's the reason he broke up with me! It's making me start to believe that he broke up with me for the new girl he's dating now (whom he just broke up with yesterday). I've tried texting him to just start conversation and nothing works. I just want to be friends again.

- Friendless Failure

::

Babe, I might have to be a little tough on you but it's for the best, yea? Tough love and all xx

I have to give you the honest truth: THAT'S THE ONLY REASON HE BROKE UP WITH YOU.

In the nicest way possible, you're very naïve to think that he broke up with you because he didn't want you to "stop being friends". That was a lie from the start, babe! I suspect that these "heated fights" came about because he was looking to end the relationship. I'm guessing that he was interested in that other person for some period of time while you were dating him.

The fact that he wanted to go out with someone else clearly showed that, contrary to what he said, he doesn't want to be friends with you!

And it's not your fault at all. It would just be weird for this boy to continue talking to his ex (you) while dating someone else, if you see where I'm coming from? So I guess it was inevitable that he cut communication with you. He had already moved on ages ago, love.

He had no intention to be your friend afterwards.

I mean, if he hadn't another girl in mind when he broke up with you, maybe he would actually have meant what he said. But he didn't.

You're a bit too gullible, but maybe this is a wake-up call for you? It's very sweet that you still want to be his friend and everything but honey, I'm afraid that's not how it pans out.

Do you not think he took advantage of your innocence and made you believe that you broke up on good terms?

Ahhhh the more I write this, the more your ex-boyfriend is beginning to annoy me! Some time earlier this year my friend broke up with her boyfriend (of 1 year) because he was planning to date another girl...which he did after a day. And I watched how much pain she went through during that time...it sucked!

Babe, this may hurt, but I honestly think it's a bad idea for you to be his friend. It's not the best thing to do right now. Here's a list of reasons why:

(1) he dumped you for someone else, whom he dated the next day. I don't think you should let him off that easy...

(2) he lied to you, giving you false hope that you could be friends.

(3) he ignored you.

That's not right.

I don't think you should be around him right now, let alone trying to talk to him. Leave him alone hun, leave him alone.

You need to be mature about this. I hope this doesn't make you angry or anything, because please don't take out your anger on him...don't be mean to him, don't try to seek revenge...don't. You have the choice to be mature about this, which I think means letting him be. Let go.

Honey, you are NOT a 'friendless failure'! This boy is not worth your time!

To be honest, the fact that his relationship with the new gf ended kind of shows something. He's not a very nice person, I don't think!

Spend time with your girlfriends, focus on school and everything. I think the coolest thing you can do right now is show him how fine you are without him in his life!

Trying to talk to him will only boost his ego, which kind of needs to be deflated. He didn't treat you right.

So,

(1) stop trying to be his friend. Don't start conversations, don't look at him, don't talk to or about him. Just leave him be.

But, as cliché as this sounds, you need to forgive and forget. Don't hold a grudge or anything.

When (or if) he finally sucks it up and decides to apologize, and/or decides to start a conversation with you, accept his apology. Be nice, but don't be too encouraging.

Show him that you've moved on without holding anything against him. But also, show him that you've moved on having learned that you don't deserve to be treated in that way. He didn't respect you. That's not cool!

I hope I didn't come across as too mean, but like I said, tough love.

Good luck!

- genie_us xx