Your Wattpad Agony Aunt! (On hold)

#15 - Should we tell her?

Dear Aunt Agony,
Okay. I have this friend who is dating this guy. She'd dated him before and he broke up with her after two weeks, over text. She neglected to tell us this.

She liked him forever and it took months for us to get her to talk to him. Eventually we just pushed her against him and ran so she would have to talk to him. After that they got together (again). It seemed like everything was fine until she told us about her previous relationship with him. She said that he had changed and we believed her. They have only been dating for a month now but one of his friends told us that he only pretended to like her so he could make another girl jealous. This other girl is a grade younger than us and we know for certain that she doesn't like him and probably never will, so the question is: do we tell her about the other girl?

- Worried Friend
::

Heya!

Can I firstly say that you guys are awesome friends for pushing her against him and running? Hahahha that's sounds like something I would do ;)

Secondly, you need to be these same awesome friends, through thick and thin...which is why you must tell her.

BUT...!

1. You should evaluate this evidence for yourselves.

- who told you this?
- can you trust him?
- do you think he may have any ulterior motives? Or was he just being legit?
- do you know her boyfriend well enough to form a judgement? Does it seem like something he would do?
- how does he act towards this girl that he apparently likes?

I'm just telling you this so that you can be cautious in your approach to your friend. You don't want to tell her something that isn't true and then get her all freaked out, but you also don't want to keep it from her (if it's the truth) and watch her get hurt.

2. Try and get a little more evidence.

I don't know if this makes sense, but it is something I would do with my friends before telling someone something that could have a massive impact on their relationship. For instance:

One of my close friends was dating this guy, let's call him Jake. Then one of my friends said she saw Jake kiss another girl, who just happened to be his ex. We weren't going to tell her immediately, because we were figuring out how to tell her that, so we asked a couple of other witnesses...and I even asked him. Well, he said yes. At that point, at his admittance, I urged him to be the one to tell her and stuff...

The reason I suggest you try and gather some more evidence (like asking this friend of his again, asking his other friends, watching for how he treats his gf and this other girl he likes...) is so that it's believable. Having supporting evidence to such claims may help her open her eyes and leave the boy altogether.

I'm also suggesting this because a while back, my friend had told me something as per concerning my crush - which was obviously a big blow to my pursuit of him - and I was only to find out that she had been completely wrong in what she said.

So yea, it's a little personal.
But you can skip this step if you're completely and 100% positive that it's true.

3. Tell her.

You said, "do we tell her about the other girl?"
But, can I simply correct this by changing the question to, "do we tell her about her boyfriend's actual intentions?" Reason being, telling her about "the other girl" will make it sound like this other girl is at fault when she isn't. You said she would never like him, so she isn't a problem of any sort (don't drag her into this, poor girl).

The one who's in the wrong is the guy. He's using her to make someone else jealous. That's not cool! So you just have to tell her exactly that.

And as you do, let her know the following:
- she deserves better.

Yes, she does. She deserves someone who legit likes her, okay? She should not be used as bait, trying to be used to make someone else jealous.
Tbh, that's such a bitch move on the guy's part.
Also, let her know that this other girl is in no way interested in him. I reckon that'll make her feel a little bit better.

4. Stand with her throughout

Whatever happens, stay by her. Make sure she doesn't go back to him because (I don't want to generalize males here but) more often than not, guys don't change as we think or hope. He didn't change, clearly.

::

I'm not one to know where her relationship with him is at, so I have no idea if this will be the final nail in the coffin (like the deal breaker, what'll end the relationship) but I think it should be.

BECAUSE GURLLSSS, YOU DESERVE NOTHING BUT THE BEST. YOU SHOULD NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE USED, FOR YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING THE MUSE.

Can I get an AMEN?!
Hope I helped, lol xD
- genie_us xx