Your Wattpad Agony Aunt! (On hold)

#76 - Scared about Trump

Hi!

Thanks for taking the time to help me as I have a problem.

Next year I'll be moving to America from the UK to live with my Aunt. The fact that I'm moving isn't the problem; it's the fact that I'm scared Donald trump will be president.

You'll be wondering why igaf, but it's because I'm a Muslim. I don't necessarily dress like one, but I am. I'm a black 14 year woman and a Muslim. Literally everything that I see portrayed negatively by the media. I'm scared if Donald trump gets his way and becomes president I won't be allowed in.  Where I'm from, no-one really cares what you identify with, sexual orientation, your personal belief or your views. But I feel like since it's getting closer to the elections it's becoming more or less real.

I don't want to be shot by the police. I really don't care whether or not people will try to be horrible to me as I know I'll be able to stand up for myself and defend myself if necessary.  It still doesn't change the fact I'm getting anxiety from the thought of being hurt or racially discriminated for who I am.

Please help.

::

Hello there!

I will get right on it.

I've been in communication with you via PM, and so you're aware that I am also going to be going to the USA for uni (in less than a week now!) and so I really really do understand how you feel right now. I'm also black, and so I can really share in your grievances.

There are a couple of things that help me through when I start worrying about my safety when I'll be in the USA, and I will share them with you and hopefully they will help.

1. Take It Slow

I remember that in 2013 there was this horrible terror attack in a shopping mall here in Kenya and I remember hearing the military helicopters circling the area. By God's grace I was not in the mall, but I live somewhat close to it, so I was really traumatised by the whole event.

So when I went to school, the counselor was providing consultations for those of us who felt really affected by the incident, and she told me something that has really helped me through up until this day.

We basically told her that we were scared, that we felt so, so unsafe going anywhere and doing anything. And this is what she told us to do:

Take each second as it comes. When you live in the future, you're bound to get anxious. Which is why when you're scared, focus on the present. Tell yourself, "right now, I am okay" or "in this moment, I am fine, I am safe, I am healthy."

And this really really helps, whenever you're frightened about what may happen in the future.

She told us to stop saying "what if." Because 'what if's are not the reality; they are just untrue things that make us afraid of really living life as we should. "What if Trump wins" and "what if I get shot" are not the reality, they have not happened now.

Right this second, when you're reading this sentence, you're okay. You're alive. And when you'll be on the plane to Cali, you'll be fine. Train yourself to focus on the present. On this very moment, and not on moments that you don't know will happen.

There's this quote by Lao Tzu that really resonates with me:

"If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present."

Just always try to remember this.

2. The Media Blows Everything Out of Proportion (So Put Things Into Perspective!)