Your Wattpad Agony Aunt! (On hold)

#37 - I am asexual

I have a question for your Agony Aunt book...

So, um, I'm kinda different. You see, I'm something called asexual aromantic. It means I don't feel any need to have sex or date. The idea of it disgusts me, personally.

But...it makes life really weird. All I see is that 'Everyone loves sex' and that 'Everyone needs to date'. Pretty much every story on Wattpad is about finding love or dating. It's everywhere. But I just don't get it.

I feel like a freak. It's so alienating. I just feel like something is wrong with me.

::

Hello, boo.

First, I will let you know that I'm here for you. I'm sure there are also loads of other people on here who would say the same - so whenever you feel alone or like you need to talk to anyone, you can come to me (or us). Secondly, I will admit that this is a new area for me, but I will give advice the best I can.

So here goes.

1. You need to know that you're not alone

There's a whole community of people out there just like you. I'm serious, you're not alone. You need to remember that.

2. There's nothing wrong with you

Thing is, you're not missing out on anything big and you needn't feel like you are. You see, the fact that you are human means that there will ALWAYS be something that you're missing out on because it's just how things are; we can't experience EVERYTHING. For instance, a French person will miss out on how it is to be Spanish; a black person will miss out how it feels to be white; a rich guy will miss out on what it is to be poor and so on. The fact that you're asexual is just something that you are (just as one can be French or white or whatever), but also something that other people aren't. This, however, does not make your experience any less or any worse - it just makes it a different one. It's okay to be different; not to feel as others do; not to experience the same things. Don't feel alienated because of it, yea?

3. Not everyone is having sex, believe it or not

It is human nature to make a bigger deal out of things than they already are, because we tend to over-focus on what we think is wrong with us. I suspect that this is your case. But the thing is, sex isn't necessarily everywhere...perhaps it's just that you're focusing a lot of your attention on it. Try not to overthink it. You keep seeing romance stories on Wattpad? Check out something like Historical fiction instead. TV is showing too many rom-coms? Get on Netflix and watch a good series of your choice - that doesn't have romance. I reckon that there's just as many stuff you can do/watch/see/listen to that doesn't have to do with sex or dating so as to make you feel more comfortable.

4. Accepting the situation

Despite that, you still can't really ignore the fact that sex is such a big part of today's society - it's glorified, preached, tweeted, everything. You're right in that respect, but maybe you've just got to get used to it. Just relax and try not to focus on it too much so that it doesn't bother you. Treat it just like all of those other things you're exposed to on social media or TV or whatever but will probably never experience yourself. Thing is, that's okay. Sex means a lot to the world, but it's okay that it doesn't mean the same to you.

Another thing you've got to accept is that that's just who you are and it's okay. It's fine not to be interested in sex or dating. Continue reminding yourself that it's part of you and that there's nothing wrong with that.

There's nothing wrong with that.

I promise. You're not a freak. In fact, you're awesome. You're awesome. Say it one more time with me...*says it together*.

5. Find support

I am more than sure that you can find support from tons of people around you, be it on Wattpad or other websites, in school, in your community, family and friends, etc. Talk to someone you feel comfortable with about how you feel and hopefully you won't feel so alone anymore.

But, remember! There's nothing wrong with you.

You're awesome.

Hope I've helped you! If anyone else has anything to add or say, do not hesitate to do so!

Lots and lots of love,

- genie_us xxx