Your Wattpad Agony Aunt! (On hold)

#65 - Our relationship is bound to end :(

Dear Agony Aunt,

Here's my problem:

I am dating a girl (I am lesbian and she is bi). We are both closeted save for maybe ten people and my mother (all of whom are very accepting). But I just saw her for the first time in two months because I am in a foreign country and she talked about wanted to break up.

We decided to date through the end of July till I get back to my home country. From there we'll either break up for August or stay together. Then in September we'll break up for good or keep dating. The thing is, is that I really like her. She was my first kiss, my first real relationship.

There is also another girl who likes me who my girlfriend mentioned saying I should give her a chance. I like this other girl, but I'm pretty sure just as a friend. She would definitely be a nicer girlfriend but like I said I don't think I like her like that.

I'm super confused and my heart is broken over my girlfriend. We aren't broken up yet, but it's only a matter of time.

- heartbroken

::
Heya babe!

I am very sorry that you are going through that and I really hope that I'll be able to help you out.

Ready?

1. Enjoy the present

A lot of the time when we get into relationship it is a habit to view it as a long-term investment. And there's no problem with that - but it doesn't need to be the case with every relationship that you are in.

Storytime: so I've been in my final year of school and a lot of my classmates had sort of been getting into relationships in the last year too, and I'd been talking to some of them just before we graduated: I basically asked if they planned to stay together after school, seeing as everyone is going to completely different universities in different cities and even in different countries. Of course, there are the ones that intend to give long distance a go, and that's okay. But there are some others who were like 'no, we will break up after summer.'

Thing is, in no way does that lessen the value of the relationship.

If two people enjoy each other's company, then there is no reason that they shouldn't be together, no matter how much time they have. Babes, you need to focus on the present. Because the biggest regret you'll have after you break up is that you spent all the time worrying that it was going to end when you were actually with her. Tbh, in life, all good things come to an end eventually, and so you have to focus on the joy you feel in that moment and cherish every single bit of it! Of course you'll be sad when it's over, but you'll be happy to know that you ended on good terms and that you really cherished each and every second you spent with her.

So just make the most of every moment that you have left. You'll be glad you did, regardless of whether it ends or not.

2. Does there seem to be an underlying reason for her request?

One odd thing that sort of stood out to me in your message is that your girlfriend really seems to be pushing for you to end the relationship; she seems to really be pushing for you to be with the other girl. I'm really hoping that I'm reading into it too much and that it's nothing, but I think I will still mention it just in case. It sounds super fishy.

I mean, it is slightly strange she's already finding someone else for you to be with, and like you said she keeps talking about breaking up.