Your Wattpad Agony Aunt! (On hold)

#67 - "JUST FRIENDS?!"

Dear Agony Aunt, 

For months now, I've had this crush on a cute guy I like in my class, and I'm getting SOO many mixed signals from him. He stares at me all the time, but every time I come and try to talk to him, he always acts like he doesn't even care! I also told this other girl about him, and she said go for it. 

BUT SHE WENT BEHIND MY BACK AND STARTED TO DATE HIM! 

And to make matters worse, my crush started avoiding me, and hanging out with HER all the time. They were inseparable! So I decided to ignore him, and pretend I hate his guts.

That did not last long at all. I still loved him! So on the last day of school, I slipped him a note. When he came up to me, he said to me: "you are a very special person. We are both very strong people and I care for you a lot." and he wiped my tears away.

 After that I asked him if we were just friends or more than that. And he said. JUST. FRIENDS. Seriously, why would you say any of that if we were just friends!! 

Obviously, I STILL haven't gotten over him yet. Please, WHAT DO I DO!?!? 

::

Hey there!

What a situation.

I will cut right to the chase here.

Those two aren't worth a penny of your time. 

Firstly, what kind of a friend would do that to another friend? I think that that isn't nice at all. If she had genuinely liked him all along, she should have spoken to you about it and asked whether you'd be okay with them dating because from the looks of it, he seems to like her back. 

I will mention that you should try and be more cautious with whom you trust with your secrets. 

I don't want to sound like a bitch or anything, but I doubt that this boy had any feelings for you. In my last chapter, I had said that we as girls tend to interpret things in favour of ourselves, when they aren't really the reality. 

What this boy told you, that "you are a very special person. We are both very strong people and I care for you a lot," means nothing more than "I appreciate your note but unfortunately I don't feel the same way, and I don't want to hurt you by directly saying that." Trust me on this one, babes. I've learnt this the hard way. They always tell you that you're special, or that you're "an amazing person" and that "they care about you" so they "don't want to lose your friendship," but none of this means that they like you. 

When a guy likes you and he already knows you like him, more often than not he will have already acted on it. I think that this guy was trying to soften the blow for you. I don't mean that he lied when he said that he cares about you, but you interpreted those words romantically when he meant them in a purely platonic fashion. Once you get your head around that, you won't be so surprised that he said you were "just friends" after that. 

So, what's the solution?

Forget about him. 

It's obviously easier said than done, and this takes a while, but honestly you need to refocus your attention on other things. Try to distract yourself by doing stuff like reading, or sports, or even just hanging out with other people. Soon enough, as time passes, you'll find yourself thinking of him much less than you were, and eventually you shall reach a point where it doesn't even bother you anymore. 

I have done a couple of other chapters about getting over someone, so I'd tell you to refer to #1, #13 and very loosely #62. 

You will get over him in time. I will remind you that that also needs a conscious effort from yourself, because if you don't want to get over him then you won't. So you must want to first, and also, seeing as you're on holiday, you aren't seeing his face very often, so you're bound to forget him. Eventually, you'll get to a point of forgiveness, specifically of your friend and perhaps also of him. 

Love,

- genie_us xx