Your Wattpad Agony Aunt! (On hold)

#9 - Everyone ships us!

Dear genie_us,

So there's this guy in my writing group and dance class, (note, two of my best friends are in the dance class, three in writing) and one of my BFFs (she's in writing AND dance) and she thinks that me and said guy should be together. Look, I'm not saying I like him, but when I see him I turn red and my stomach does a backflip. She notices this, and every time she sees him, she says, "I think you and him should be together" or "you like him, don't you?" - and crap like that. And whenever we get paired up in dance/writing it's super embarrassing because she winks at me, and does all these hand signals. One of the things we have in common, is that we are both SUPER awkward and barely speak to each other, other than to say a joke, or 'turn up the music'. And to add onto the awkward meter, ALL my friends think we like each other! ALL my friends ship us! It's just...ARGGHH...I HAVENT KINDA LIKED A REAL GUY IN YEARS HELLLPPP!!!

- confused & awkward

::

Okay, okay, okay. Calm down. Boys can drive you insane. FRIENDS can drive you even more insane.

And, your friends have kind of pissed me off. That's probably because I literally watched one of my close friends go through that in like the past week and lawwwdddd it's so annoying.

What's annoying about it is that i feel like they're forcing you to like the guy.

That's what agitated my friend, you see: everyone was shipping them, and even her best friend was trying to force that she liked him. And her being her, not wanting to hurt or disappoint anyone, kept on saying sure she likes him etc but I knew she didn't. I spoke to her about it, and I asked her exactly what I'm going to ask you - "are you really sure you like him?" And of course, she said she didn't. She was just giving in to pressure.

So, I ask you the same: do you really, really like him?

Just because everyone thinks you should be together doesn't mean that you should, or that they're justified in their statement. It's YOUR life honey, YOUR feelings. No one can tell you how to feel, not even your best friend.

Stop feeling like you owe everyone a favour, love. This may sound cliché, but stick to your gut. Stop letting other people decide for you what you want.

I think what's happening is that, because everyone ships you and him, the idea begins to take shape in your head - and messes with you. You begin to think that maybe you do like him.

You spoke about your tummy doing back flips and everything when you see him. This does mean something to a certain extent, but like you said, it may not mean that you like him. Maybe he's just good looking (my tummy flips when I see Channing Tatum, GAAAH).

But I will admit, I'm a bit confused: in your last sentence (in capital letters), you said you've never liked a "real guy" in a while...

So do you or do you not like him? Because from your message, 98% of it was about your friends shipping you both, not about you having genuine feelings for him. So maybe that's the one thing that you need to figure out for yourself. Okay lol, let me put it in numbers:

1. Figure out your true feelings

Liking someone is usually something that just "comes", not something you study religiously and whatnot (lol). I think that maybe you should get away from all your friends for a bit and just get some time to think for yourself. Do you find yourself thinking about him a lot? Do you stare at him in class? Have you found yourself trying to impress him?

You said you find your conversations with him really awkward, and that you barely talk. I feel like that's a negative; if neither of you are going out of your way to talk to each other, maybe there's really nothing there.

I don't know.

2. Have a sit down with your best friend

Everyone, including your best friend, thinks that you and this guy should go together?

Talk to your bestie. You see, that's why there's a difference between "everyone" and your "best friend". You can tell her anything, and she's supposed to be on your side, on YOUR team, always.

So tell her the truth. You need to let her know that it's annoying how she's always making those faces/ gestures when you're with him. Explain that you don't (or do) like him, and that you need her help either way.

As your friend, she's not supposed to be part of "everyone". She should not be shipping you with him, because she knows you better than everybody else. She should be your wing-woman if you do like him, actually helping you get him (and not acting immature by embarrassing you). If you don't like him, she should be there with you, telling all the other stupid people to stop being immature by forcing something that's not there.

What I'm trying to say is that you need to talk to her and tell her that because she knows you best, she needs to be on your side.

Whether or not she agrees with the shipping.

3. Stop all of these assumptions

These are usually so bad, assuming that he likes you or assuming that you guys should be together. They will make things SO MUCH MORE awkward when he finds out about them, so do your best to try and curb all of these rumors before they turn into something else.

4. Where do you stand with him?

I felt like your problem really centers more around your friends, even though it's about a boy. But I'm guessing that you still want to know what to do about him anyway.

Don't rush things. Just because everyone ships you doesn't mean he feels the same, or that you feel the same, so don't let your friendship with him be based on what others are saying. Let it go at its own pace. Try and be friendly, because after all that's just what you are; just friends.

::

All I've been trying to say, summed up in one sentence, is:

No one else should have a say in your relationship with someone else, except you (and him).

Plus, your best friend should be behind you 100% and not being annoying when you're with him lol

Idk babe.

Good luck!

- genie_us

::

A/N - guys, I have been putting this book on hold because I've been in school. I'm on half term now, and coming back to over 100 messages - all for this book - is crazy, so there are a few things that I need to clear out first:

1) I'm so sorry if I don't address your problem. As I said, I have so many requests, so I may have to do some and pass some.

2) Please don't feel bad if I don't do yours...and if I've taken ages to respond, I'm sorry again, I really do hope some are still relevant.

3) If you find that your problem is similar to one that has already been published, please try and use that to help you so that I'm not getting repetitive.

Thanks guys!:) x