Jasper - Don't Go

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Jasper decided to come with us to the bunker, I was grateful he came when I knew he was broken inside. I tried being there for him when he needed me but he turned to medication to take away the pain, he and I decided to stay in the bunker when the others took off to go get Raven but ended up going to space instead. I didn't know what to do when he started taking the medication, a few people have tried to take him off of them. It has been five years since we closed the bunker, the polis tower collapsed over top of us and it didn't help that Octavia was making people fight to survive. 

I stood with my back against the wall while staring at Jasper, he was laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. We stayed in the same room but I wouldn't share a bed with him, I thought he was slowly getting passed Mia's death but I could tell it was eating him up inside. I was always there for him, the looks he would give me broke my heart. I slide down the wall and sat on the ground, "Why don't you just leave Y/n?" His voice made me snap my head up to look at him. 

"I told you I wouldn't do that," I muttered while closing my eyes, "I thought you were getting past this," I spoke softly and I opened my eyes, his head was turned to face me. 

"You have no idea what I am going through Y/n," I watched him rolled his eyes and turn his head back to look at the ceiling, I breathed in deeply and wondered if he would ever get past it. He had his hands rested over top of his stomach, I watched him breathe in deeply. I cared for him and I didn't want to lose him, I crossed my legs and rested my head against the hard concrete wall. Tears were starting to form and I couldn't control them, they trickled down my cheeks and I breathed in deeply. 

"I'm trying to understand what you are going through but I can't when you haven't let me in," I explained then got up from the ground and walked towards him, I sat on the bed beside him. He didn't move and didn't look at me, I breathed in deeply and squeezed my eyes shut, "Jasper, I don't understand why you are trying to push me away when it's been five years," He shot up and looked at me. 

"Y/n, it feels like I can't breathe. Like I'm drowning in my own grief and no one understands what I'm going through, I should have just died when the radiation hit," I quickly got out of bed and ran my fingers through my hair. 

"You," I pointed at him, "Don't get to say that," I narrowed my eyes at him while screaming at him, "You are one of my best friends and I care so much about you, why can't you see that I am trying to be there for you," I continued to yell at him and it felt like I couldn't stop myself, "I lost my father and my mother and you don't think I felt the way you are feeling now, one of them got floated for trying to steal meds for me and the other burned in radiation because he wanted his spot to be mine," I breathed in deeply and turned towards the door, I started walking towards it, "I'm going to ask if I can change rooms if you don't want me around."

He groaned, "Y/n, don't go," I stopped in my tracks and turned towards him, he was looking down at his lap, "Come here," I didn't move and he breathed in deeply, "Please," I slowly walked towards him and sat down on the bed again, he finally looked at me. Tears were streaming down his face, "She was the first person that I truly loved," He confessed and I took in a breath, I motioned him to lay down. He did.

I laid down beside him, I was facing him while he laid on his back, "I know I'm not her but I want to be there for you because I love you Jasper and that's never going to change," I mumbled and closed my eyes, I felt him wrap his arm around my shoulder and I scooted closer to him. We didn't say anything to each other but the silence made me feel content, I had my head rested on his shoulder with my hand on his chest and we both fall asleep together. 

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