Music to My Ears

12

The Got7 story is a little messy, the other groups/Idols won't be this mixed up I promise. I'm working on fixing this issue don't be alarmed. If you weren't that's fine.

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Jinyoung looked at the bruise on Mark's arm and lowered his head, "I'm sorry."

Mark looked at him out of the corner of his eye, then looked away. He said nothing, but he silently lifted a hand to cover that particular bruise.

Jinyoung tried again, "I lost control of myself, I shouldn't have done that."

"Just leave." Mark mumbled, not looking at Jinyoung.

Jinyoung sighed, "Jackson wants for the three of us to go on a date. Today."

"What time?" Mark asked after a long time, not moving from his position in the slightest.

"Jackson said he would text you the details."

Mark took a deep breath, "If that's all you're here for, then you can leave now."

Jinyoung hesitated, "I really am sorry."

"I heard you the first time." Mark spoke with no emotion in his voice, not moving when he was again alone in the room. There go my plans to sit here and cry. Mark couldn't ruin his face while going on a date. So he sat there, feeling the sadness eating him from the inside.

Mark was feeling horrible, what better way to make it worse than read depressing poems? Which is what he did, pulling out his phone and scrolling through aimlessly. He found one in particular that seemed to catch his attention so he clicked on it. It wasn't really a poem, more of three paragraphs, but who cares?

'I'm not trying to make this a contest about whose life is worse. That should never be a competition. I just want to put out a major difference between suffering from outside forces and suffering from within.When the problem is the life you have, you can run away. As much as you say you can't escape your job or family, you can. It's just that the risk or consequences don't seem worth it. It's just that you don't see the benefit. That doesn't mean you can't escape.

Maybe it's not a permanent escape, maybe it's temporary. But, for a moment, you were able to be free. Even if you don't escape, you can dream, because it's possible. Whether or not you can actually do. When the problem is yourself this isn't possible.Everything in life comes and goes. Relationships, situations, status, money, it all comes and goes. The one thing that remains constant is yourself. Not traits about yourself, not your appearance or mentality. What remains is that fact that it's you, and you can't escape yourself.

Hypnosis, it's still your body. Memory loss, your in the same body. Plastic surgery, that plastic is just as a part of you now as your skin was. Even if cells die, they regrow, and it's you. Some organs may leave you, but the rest remain. You're stuck with yourself until you die, because that's the only true escape.

The difference between my problems and the problems of others is this; the ability to escape. I can't escape myself, I can't escape the worse thing in my life.'

That's how Mark felt. Trapped. It's terrible, the one person you can't run away from in life is yourself. When the person you hate the most in the world is yourself you're out of luck. The only escape is death, but that's time consuming and could go wrong in so many ways. So Mark was stuck there, the hatred, the weakness, and the frustration flowing off of him.

What a terrible feeling, this suffering. This pain that no one had the ability to fix. The jumbled thoughts that no one had the ability to understand. A therapist that was off in another country. A helper who wasn't around to offer out a hand. A guide who couldn't give advice or words of help.