Music to My Ears

21

All of Bambam's co-workers are subscribed to his YouTube channel.
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Ha Young opened the door to see Mark Tuan in his pajamas wringing his hands on his shirt. His hair was hidden by a baseball cap, and he had his keys hanging from one of his fingers.

"Um, hi?" Ha Young leaned against the door frame so she wouldn't wobble.

Mark bowed.

Ha Young gazed at him through sleepy eyes, "You wanna, drink some tea?"

Mark nodded.

Ha Young moves so that he could step in, she locked the door. She motioned for Mark to sit into either of the coaches and walked into the kitchen.

She prepared the tea and brought it back. She handed one cup to Mark and watched as he chugged it all in one go. Ha Young sat on the coach opposite of him and took a small sip of her tea.

"So, why are you here?"

Mark placed his cup onto the table on the edge of the couch, "I'm just... really stressed. I couldn't sleep and decided to come here."

Ha Young nodded, "Okay. Are you here for me or...?"

"I don't care if it's you or Ha Yang I just... I need advice."

"On what?" Ha Young asked in a concerned tone.

"You know about Zeyu, right? With Jackson?"

"Ha Yang told me about it, yes."

"Well, since I'm dating Jackson him being a father technically makes me one."

Ha Young nodded, "In a sense, yes it does."

Mark sighed and held his head in his hands, "I'm just not sure if I'm ready to be a father. If I can take on this responsibility. But at the same time I love Zeyu so much that I just know that I can. I don't know, is that what parenthood feels like?"

Ha Young sipped her tea, "You have the passion, which is better than most parents." she understood where this conversation was going now, and why he wanted to talk to either her or her sister about it.

"What do you mean?"

Ha Young made a sad face, "Most parents today are only parents by accident. The condom broke, a drunk night, birthday or anniversary night, they just become parents because they're expected to. Or they feel like society requires them to. They become parents out of necessity not passion. You are becoming a parent for the right reason."

"Is it impossible for parents like that to be passionate?"

Ha Young shook her head, "Not at all, it's just that the passion isn't there from the start. It develops. Parents who plan and parents who get surprised aren't better or worse than each other, but the first pair tend to do better."

Mark by his lip, "But am I going to be a good parent? What if I mess up?"

"You will."

Mark rubbed his head, "How is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"That's a good thing."

"How?!"

"It shows your child that you're human. That's it's okay to mess up, and they learn to fix their mistakes. Parents who are perfect just result in kids feeling like failures. Mess up, that's how they grow."